New Jokes

Hobs

Master
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11,797
Type of diabetes
Type 2
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Argumenative barstifferous (new word *lol*) types who think that they know everything *wink*
Enjoy these Christmas related jokes. Funny, clean Xmas Jokes for kids and adults.

Q. What kind of bird can write?
A. A pen-guin

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective ?
A. Santa Clues!

Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It's Christmas, Eve.

Q. Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
A. Because he like to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Q. What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman?
A. She gave him the cold shoulder.... hee hee, ideal for 'hamming' it up
 

Hobs

Master
Messages
11,797
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Non-insulin injectable medication (incretin mimetics)
Dislikes
Argumenative barstifferous (new word *lol*) types who think that they know everything *wink*
Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A. Ice caps.

Q. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A. Fleece Navidad!

Q. What is a snowman's favorite lunch?
A. An Iceberger!

Q. What do vampires put on their Christmas turkey?
A. Grave-y.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. I'll have a boo Christmas without you.

Q. What do you call a snowman party?
A. A Snowball!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A. Frost bite!

Q. What do you call an Eskimo cow?
A. An Eskimoo.

Q. How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Q. What do the elves sing to Santa Claus on his birthday?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow . . .

Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
A. Sandy Claws!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.


Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A. Thanks, I'll never part with it!

Q. Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A. Because he had the drum sticks.

Q. What do you when if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A. A pineapple.

Q. What did the big candle say to the little candle?
A. I'm going out tonight.

Q. Why wasn't the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
A. He was stuffed!

Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A. Because it soots him.

Q. What kind of ball doesn't bounce?
A. A snowball!

Q. What's the best thing to put into Christmas pie?
A. Your teeth!

Q. What do you get when you eat the Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsel-itus.

Q. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A. Because every buck is dear to him.

Q. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A. Missletoe!

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A. Claustrophobic.

Q. What does Santa like to eat?
A. A jolly roll.

Q. How does Santa take pictures?
A. With his North Pole-aroid.
 

daisy1

Legend
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Cruelty towards animals.
Paula - you're not alone - I need cheering up too :( Jokes help...
 

paula1974

Well-Known Member
Messages
114
Thanks hobs, they made me chuckle :lol:
Daisy1 - Please enjoy it as much as you can. I am thinking of you, and everyone else who is struggling this Christmas - love and peace to you all :)
 

daisy1

Legend
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Thanks Paula. Love and peace to you as well. Will think of you too :)
 

phraedus

Active Member
Messages
36
LadyOPic.jpg
 

daisy1

Legend
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Cruelty towards animals.
I absolutely love that. I have got two blood testers at home :D
 

Sid Bonkers

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,976
Type of diabetes
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Customer helplines that use recorded menus that promise to put me through to the right person but never do - and being ill. Oh, and did I mention customer helplines :)
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love the cat meter
 

Peterson

Newbie
Messages
4
Thanks for sharing such a nice joke with us..It really made me laugh out loudly... And i will definitely share it with my friends.. :D
 

Malc.

Well-Known Member
Messages
114
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
I've heard of a cat-scan but I've never seen one like that... :lol:

Malc.