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- Type 2's who have caused themselves to have the disease (Not sorry), Pop/Dance/RnB/Disrespect/Fish
Hey everyone. After taking a slow interest in Diabetes (I've been type 1 for 5 years) I stumbled across this forum and became inspired and indeed motivated to make more of an effort with myself and my disease. I'm not the world's most saintly type 1, my last hba1c came back at 8.1, not the best it has ever been but certainly not the worst. After reading some of the things you guys talk about me I wanted to share a little of my experience and see if any of you feel or have felt the same.
I was diagnosed in March 2006 with fasting bloods of 30.1mmol/L, I was ignorant to Diabetes, I had no idea what it entailed. My first question was "is this my fault? Could I have prevented it?". The simple answer was no, it can happen to the best of us, and the worst. The hospital believed my Diabetes was triggered by a nasty strain of the influenza virus I contracted 3 months prior. Whether there is any truth in that I don't know. Anyway, after my visit to hospital I came home none the wiser, not because the health professionals hadn't explained to me but because I didn't want to listen. I begrudgingly plodded through the next month taking 2 injections a day, of what I cannot remember. Although I do recall running way into the 20's most days. No wonder I felt cr*p! With GCSE's looming I decided to go to back to the doctors and reasses my options. I then changed to Novorapid 3 times a day and Levemir once per day. I again plodded through my Diabetic existence willing someone I knew to have Diabetes so I wouldn't be so alone, so when I had a hypo or felt irritable because of the fluctuation in my blood sugar someone would understand how it actually felt. I hated any sympathy from people, the "there there" stares when you devour a bottle of lucozade, eyes glazed over and shaking like a rabbit in headlights. I wanted complete empathy from someone - but I didn't want to talk about it. The next couple of years got worse, I smoke and drink and I persistently revolted against my Diabetes going as far as to refuse to inject for over a month. Sure, I liked the weight I lost but I felt like I was dying inside. I did this a couple of times in my teens, not to lose weight, that was never the aim, I wanted to prove to everyone that I didn't need the injections, I wanted to BELIEVE I was like everyone else still, that all of these people were trying to scare me with stories of blindness and limb loss. I was lucky, I didn't do myself any permanent damage and now looking back I just want to slap myself. But I was so headstrong, it's taken me years to get to the point where I even want to talk about any of this, I have consistently bottled it up and shrugged it off.
The only time I've actively spoke up about Diabetes is when I've been confronted with someone who was Type 2 at the age of 20. He thought it was funny and refused to change his 6000 calorie a day lifestyle. He weighed in at 25 stone. Over the years, what has frustrated me most (second to having the disease) is the way people assume all Diabetics are the same, that we have all caused ourselves to be this way through lack of exercise and overeating. It couldn't be further from the truth for most of us.
I now do my insulin every time I eat, I check my bloods regularly and exercise as and when my free time will allow, although I do prefer taking the 3 dogs for a long walk rather than jumping on a treadmill. I smoke, too much. And drink, too much. I get mad about lipodystrophy, hypos make me want to eat everyone out of house and home and I always overtreat them (still not got the hang of that), hypers make me agitated and grumpy and the restrictions on my car license make me rage, along with the extra insurance I have to pay because i'm "high risk". I still get frustrated going for my Diabetic appointments, especially when they ask how many units I inject a day. How long is a piece of string? It greatly depends on what I eat!
But for me now, the most important thing in my life is enjoying the time I have, not making myself feel like a pin cushion or constantly fretting that my Diabetes will get in the way of something I enjoy. I'm not going to declare my love and acceptance for Diabetes, I don't love it and I still don't accept it. I'm not sure I ever will, but it does help knowing I'm not alone
I was diagnosed in March 2006 with fasting bloods of 30.1mmol/L, I was ignorant to Diabetes, I had no idea what it entailed. My first question was "is this my fault? Could I have prevented it?". The simple answer was no, it can happen to the best of us, and the worst. The hospital believed my Diabetes was triggered by a nasty strain of the influenza virus I contracted 3 months prior. Whether there is any truth in that I don't know. Anyway, after my visit to hospital I came home none the wiser, not because the health professionals hadn't explained to me but because I didn't want to listen. I begrudgingly plodded through the next month taking 2 injections a day, of what I cannot remember. Although I do recall running way into the 20's most days. No wonder I felt cr*p! With GCSE's looming I decided to go to back to the doctors and reasses my options. I then changed to Novorapid 3 times a day and Levemir once per day. I again plodded through my Diabetic existence willing someone I knew to have Diabetes so I wouldn't be so alone, so when I had a hypo or felt irritable because of the fluctuation in my blood sugar someone would understand how it actually felt. I hated any sympathy from people, the "there there" stares when you devour a bottle of lucozade, eyes glazed over and shaking like a rabbit in headlights. I wanted complete empathy from someone - but I didn't want to talk about it. The next couple of years got worse, I smoke and drink and I persistently revolted against my Diabetes going as far as to refuse to inject for over a month. Sure, I liked the weight I lost but I felt like I was dying inside. I did this a couple of times in my teens, not to lose weight, that was never the aim, I wanted to prove to everyone that I didn't need the injections, I wanted to BELIEVE I was like everyone else still, that all of these people were trying to scare me with stories of blindness and limb loss. I was lucky, I didn't do myself any permanent damage and now looking back I just want to slap myself. But I was so headstrong, it's taken me years to get to the point where I even want to talk about any of this, I have consistently bottled it up and shrugged it off.
The only time I've actively spoke up about Diabetes is when I've been confronted with someone who was Type 2 at the age of 20. He thought it was funny and refused to change his 6000 calorie a day lifestyle. He weighed in at 25 stone. Over the years, what has frustrated me most (second to having the disease) is the way people assume all Diabetics are the same, that we have all caused ourselves to be this way through lack of exercise and overeating. It couldn't be further from the truth for most of us.
I now do my insulin every time I eat, I check my bloods regularly and exercise as and when my free time will allow, although I do prefer taking the 3 dogs for a long walk rather than jumping on a treadmill. I smoke, too much. And drink, too much. I get mad about lipodystrophy, hypos make me want to eat everyone out of house and home and I always overtreat them (still not got the hang of that), hypers make me agitated and grumpy and the restrictions on my car license make me rage, along with the extra insurance I have to pay because i'm "high risk". I still get frustrated going for my Diabetic appointments, especially when they ask how many units I inject a day. How long is a piece of string? It greatly depends on what I eat!
But for me now, the most important thing in my life is enjoying the time I have, not making myself feel like a pin cushion or constantly fretting that my Diabetes will get in the way of something I enjoy. I'm not going to declare my love and acceptance for Diabetes, I don't love it and I still don't accept it. I'm not sure I ever will, but it does help knowing I'm not alone