teen refusing to do insulin

[Cathn61may]

I feel really sorry for you. Is there someone you can talk to. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. Your daughter may be feeling a bit depressed and feels angry with having Diabetes and now her sister. I am sure your Doctor could help you.

 

[ZoëCunningham123]

I used to be so bad for this, whenever my parents didn't believe me (because I hadn't) that i was taking my lantus. Bad age too, not wanting to accept it. Eventually the ketones happened too many times I was sick of feeling like I was dying. I am 22 now and dealing with kidney problems. You don't think it's going to happen to you at the time, but when it comes your way it brings so many regrets. It's hard to force someone to do something they don't wanna do, especially if said person is so set on not doing it. Depression played a big part in not taking my insulin by the way. And not taking the insulin caused me to be depressed. Vicious circle. May not be a quick fix answer, sorry for that. But I do hope your daughter takes her insulin, as ketones are not worth it at all. Also I also used to not take my insulin to try lose weight. Not the best idea I had. Hope you are ok. I know how bad I hurt my parents when I was essentially killing myself and there was nothing they could do

 

[Kyi]

Id tackle it differently. Show her that you trust her and that she is the one in control. Set up a plan/diary of when she has taken medication or bolus. Make it her control sheet. Tell her that if she ever gets too low you need to know the information to pass on to the medical team and that if she has written it down it could save her life. See if that works.

 

[lunuka]

Are you sure she isn't taking or do you just suspect? Have you asked her why in a way that doesn't seem accusatory? When I was 20 my hormones changed and made my sugars very erratic and made me feel really ill and like it wasn't worth the pain of injecting or stress of testing when I knew it'd be bad anyway. Could she maybe need more support? Is she body conscious at all? Diabulima is having more attention brought to it at the moment too, could be a reason.

I wouldn't necessarily blame her being jealous of her sister, but if you've supported her and suddenly have less time, or if maybe she wants to manage it alone now she's older then this could be having an impact.

I'd try and sit down with her, without her sister, and have a calm and rational conversation. If you're stressed this could be making her stressed, and living with diabetes means you're pretty much stressed all of the time anyway.

 

[Kesh92]

I did the same aged 19 and put myself in a diabetic coma and intensive care for 10 days. If you want some scare tactics tell her that! Happy to be put in touch with her if need be. X

 

[Allaboutbg]

I would like to ask those who went through the teen rebellion stage what would have changed things for you? Would sanctions have worked? eg. No injecting, no party/phone kind of thing. An American style "intervention"? Some mention backing off but if I do that we are up in the 30s just waiting for ketoacidosis to kick in. Talking, she won't have a conversation about diabetes with me and obviously hates me as I am the diabetes police. What would have made you go and see the diabetes psychologist?. I'm a desperate parent running out of options here but my child is only 15. I totally understand why she is doing this. I see all too well how hard her life is but there must be something I can do to help her.

 

[Oldvatr]

Maybe I'm being overly cynical, but I wonder if there isn't some sibling rivalry going on here? She's been the diabetic "star" of the family for so long and suddenly she's no longer centre of attention? Maybe a ploy to bring the attention back to herself?

The timing of her going quiet/ less bubbly and her sister getting diagnosis may indicate a possible link between these events.

Edit to add: Does she appear to be weight or figure conscious? It may be necessary to research diabulemia just in case. This is an unfortunate deviation in care which is often related to social media use.

 

[porl69]

I would like to ask those who went through the teen rebellion stage what would have changed things for you? Would sanctions have worked? eg. No injecting, no party/phone kind of thing. An American style "intervention"? Some mention backing off but if I do that we are up in the 30s just waiting for ketoacidosis to kick in. Talking, she won't have a conversation about diabetes with me and obviously hates me as I am the diabetes police. What would have made you go and see the diabetes psychologist?. I'm a desperate parent running out of options here but my child is only 15. I totally understand why she is doing this. I see all too well how hard her life is but there must be something I can do to help her.

I went thru my teen rebellion in my twenties! I don't think anything you do will stop what we are thinking! If you put sanctions in then she will react and blame the diabetes even more. I am now paying the price for years of not listening and not caring about myself.

 

[NicoleC1971]

No I think she needs to talk to someone but since being transferred to adult team she only sees consultant once a year and nurse only if daughter contacts her I have asked her again this afternoon about it again she threw her meter at me and is packing her bags to leave think I may of driven her away

Feel for you as a type 1 and mohter of a 15 year old girl who is rather quiet and sullen right now but fortunaley does not have diabetes.... It sounds as though the time of her stopping self care of her diabetes coincided with her sister's diagnosis and being transferred to the adult clinic? Perhaps she is feeling a little jealous of the attention that a new diagnosis brings whilst simultaneously being terrified of the adult responsibility of diabetes.
I would say she needs someone to talk to about all of this to work out her feelings. Only you can judge if its right to ask her to help her sister but she also needs reassurance that you want her to be independent but will still be there to support when she needs it. Anything that sounds like nagging seems to be translated into ' Mum has just confirmed what I already think of myself i.e that I cannot cope with this. I just want it all to go away but she keeps going on about it and has no clue ' etc. etc.
I don't thnk you should be on your own with this as a family. Will your other daughter's diabetic clinic help you all even if she is off their books? I hope she stays a little longer in any case. Sorry not to be able to come around and give you a real hug...

 

[leahkian]

I was a diabetic for 35 years until i had a kidney and pancreas transplant so i am having a holiday from insulin, before this and now i have or had every diabetic problem. It is great to hear she is trying to talk to someone, I think we need some help for teenagers up to people in their mid 20's as there is so many changes in life without diabetes as well. Most people go to the adult clinic aged 18 but the problems teenagers can go through before that need to be talked about, we could have a doctor who is at clinic from 14 to 25 to help them or even meeting with people of the same age and some who are older who have gone through it. Your daughter will have changed in 4 years then their is pressure from all around to do different things and some of them she can not do due to diabetes and rebels. Diabetes does not care if you want to go out drinking with your friends but you have to, i am 42 now and people now ask what is it like having a normal life. I do not know i am here because someone passed away so i could have a chance to see my children grow up, i have to take medication everyday to make sure rejection does not happen and quite a lot more and yes i still have off days when i want to give it all up but i have never had a normal life, what i have is a will never to give up, i am a fighter who when i get knocked down i get up to fight again and diabetes has done this to me but not only me but millions more and their family.