A woe is me vent.
For nearly 6 years I have put my girls first in absolutely everything. I have busted my butt to rebuild a secure life for them after my ex-H left me. I have worked less hours than I want to at a job I don’t love so I can make their lives easier, I haven’t even thought about dating so that I’m all theirs, I give absolutely everything of myself to them, and it’s been worth every hard day & sacrifice - they’re great girls and I love them to bits.
This year was going to be the year I clawed something back for myself. DD2 started high school and with both girls at high school, they could bus home & be that bit more independent (DD1 has been for a while), which meant I could work more hours, earn more money and think about a better job/career for myself as well as giving some thought to what things I want for myself.
But that’s not going to happen now. Two weeks ago my DD2 was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, which means instead of having a bit more time for myself I have far less I haven’t had a minute to myself for three flipping weeks I can’t work more hours as DD2 can’t be on her own, I’m doing all the school runs again, it’s like she’s suddenly become 5 again I am thankful she’s healthy and it isn’t worse, but this was going to be MY year I haven’t done a single thing for myself in weeks - I can’t even chill out in front of the tv at night because I have to go to bed early because I’m up during the night doing glucose level checks I’ve been with my DD2 every single minute for days - she now has to come everywhere with me, I can’t even grocery shop in peace It’s do not fair. My ex only has to deal with diabetes 4 days out if 14 - I’ve got to live it every flipping minute, I feel like I’m ever out of the kitchen preparing food or cleaning up. Any spontaneity on our weekends is gone, our diet is now so restricted
I’m hanging out for next weekend when the kids go to my ex’s finally and I can chill for a couple of days, but it’s a brief respite and it’ll be back to the slog again
For nearly 6 years I have put my girls first in absolutely everything. I have busted my butt to rebuild a secure life for them after my ex-H left me. I have worked less hours than I want to at a job I don’t love so I can make their lives easier, I haven’t even thought about dating so that I’m all theirs, I give absolutely everything of myself to them, and it’s been worth every hard day & sacrifice - they’re great girls and I love them to bits.
This year was going to be the year I clawed something back for myself. DD2 started high school and with both girls at high school, they could bus home & be that bit more independent (DD1 has been for a while), which meant I could work more hours, earn more money and think about a better job/career for myself as well as giving some thought to what things I want for myself.
But that’s not going to happen now. Two weeks ago my DD2 was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, which means instead of having a bit more time for myself I have far less I haven’t had a minute to myself for three flipping weeks I can’t work more hours as DD2 can’t be on her own, I’m doing all the school runs again, it’s like she’s suddenly become 5 again I am thankful she’s healthy and it isn’t worse, but this was going to be MY year I haven’t done a single thing for myself in weeks - I can’t even chill out in front of the tv at night because I have to go to bed early because I’m up during the night doing glucose level checks I’ve been with my DD2 every single minute for days - she now has to come everywhere with me, I can’t even grocery shop in peace It’s do not fair. My ex only has to deal with diabetes 4 days out if 14 - I’ve got to live it every flipping minute, I feel like I’m ever out of the kitchen preparing food or cleaning up. Any spontaneity on our weekends is gone, our diet is now so restricted
I’m hanging out for next weekend when the kids go to my ex’s finally and I can chill for a couple of days, but it’s a brief respite and it’ll be back to the slog again