I am so fed up with the effect of stress on my blood sugars.

[ExtremelyW0rried]

Hi
I posted before about being a total moron and speeding - thus having to attend a course.

My course is tomorrow and in addition to this my MiL is not well and is likely to receive a lung cancer diagnosis tomorrow. And I have bacterial tonsillitis.

All of these factors have combined to cause my blood sugars to be totally resistant to insulin. I’ve not eaten since Sunday and I still can’t get them to come down. I had double the amount of insulin yesterday to this time last week and I didn’t even eat anything.

I’m so fed up. Oh and our holiday is cancelled anyway now - not because of the course but because of MiL being ill.

It never rains does it? I get I deserve to feel ill but right now I’m really upset. There’s absolutely nothing to look forwards to and absolutely no hope of things ever getting better.

Sorry, just a moan. When everything is rubbish diabetes just digs its oar in and makes it worse.

 

[Craig1978]

Been there, and got the T-shirt, but I hope things work out for you for the best!

A few years back, I had a business failure amongst other things, and it was a bad period, and I experienced similar things to you re. high BG levels and just finding control difficult.

Don't give up and I am sure you will come out the otherside long term feeling much better.

 

[Juicyj]

Sorry to hear that @ExtremelyW0rried - with your course out of the way tomorrow you can focus on supporting your MIL, just take it one day at a time.

 

[ExtremelyW0rried]

I just honestly feel like there’s not much point in carrying on.
I just get up in the morning, babysit my blood sugars, drag myself through the day and wait until I can go back to bed because at least when I’m asleep I don’t feel unhappy.
Sigh.

 

[lucylocket61]

I just honestly feel like there’s not much point in carrying on.
I just get up in the morning, babysit my blood sugars, drag myself through the day and wait until I can go back to bed because at least when I’m asleep I don’t feel unhappy.
Sigh.

I dont know if you remember when you were first diagnosed, I think you said you were around 8 years old. You accepted the medical help, take the meds and it enables you to carry on. At some point, when you are ready, you will be able to accept your anxiety needs some medication, for a while, to enable your to heal and function and reduce your blood sugars. I hope that time of acceptance comes soon for you.

 

[Craig1978]

I just honestly feel like there’s not much point in carrying on.
I just get up in the morning, babysit my blood sugars, drag myself through the day and wait until I can go back to bed because at least when I’m asleep I don’t feel unhappy.
Sigh.

Obviously, I don't know the exact ins and outs of your situation, but for me, I quickly realised there were worse off people in the world than me, and I had family reliant on me too. Sure I still have challenges, but not enough to get me down anymore!

It genuinely sounds like you may need some outside assistance though? Maybe someone neutral just to talk too?

 

[ExtremelyW0rried]

Obviously, I don't know the exact ins and outs of your situation, but for me, I quickly realised there were worse off people in the world than me, and I had family reliant on me too. Sure I still have challenges, but not enough to get me down anymore!

It genuinely sounds like you may need some outside assistance though? Maybe someone neutral just to talk too?

The difference is that my family would be better off without me.

I’m glad things improved for you though.

 

[lucylocket61]

The difference is that my family would be better off without me.

I’m glad things improved for you though.

No, no they wouldn't. And with your MIL ill, they need you even more now than they did yesterday. Please, please call Samaritans, or text them.
https://www.samaritans.org/?nation=wales

it says Wales, but its a national number and service.

eta: 116123

 

[Craig1978]

The difference is that my family would be better off without me.

I’m glad things improved for you though.

Feeling like that is probably beyond the remit of most on here, I would genuinely urge you to seek some help if you have those types of feelings.

 

[Mike d]

Even if the next minor life disruption never hits, you'll be there waiting for it.

 

[kitedoc]

Hi, @ExtremelyW0rried, Over my 52 years on insulin I have had similar moments.
Stress is the enemy to BSLs and the will to live.
At those times as strange as it sounds a mild hypo was a welcome relief!!
We can end up trying to pull ourselves up by our own socks or use of skyhooks.
Please seek help as I did.
Anyone is going to feel worse with high BSLs - that is what your nurse and doctor are there to help you with.
When I was stressed I sometimes needed 3 x my usual total daily insulin dose and not eating any food just made me feel
nauseous which just compounded the feelings of unworthiness further!
Seeking help for the stress as also vital.
Worrying about MIL is not going to help her or you.
Ring your nurse and doctor NOW
Call the mental health crisis line NOW.

 

[Kittycat_7_]

Hi,
Please get urgent help, your family wouldn't be better off without you.
We all make mistakes, don't be hard on yourself.
Please either see your dr urgently, phone emergency services or 111 if in the UK.
Your feeling very low, you can be helped.
The Samaritans are good listeners too.
Take care

 

[Robinredbreast]

The difference is that my family would be better off without me.

I’m glad things improved for you though.

Hi, you may think that way because you are feeling very down/depressed, useless or worthless, so much to cope with, but it isn't all doom and gloom and I'm 100% sure your family would be devastated if you were no longer around. Give yourself a break, give your self a pat on the back when things go right, it could be the smallest of things, that may just make you smile. Have you thought of writing a daily diary, to get all your thoughts and feelings out, the good, the bad and the indifferent, also have you tired Yoga, which can help your mind and body ?

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @ExtremelyW0rried ,

Sorry to hear you're walking stress valley right now. Some good experinced advice from other members.

I understand you use a pump. I can't help you with the tech.

What are your BGs actually doing? Number wise..

 

[ExtremelyW0rried]

Blood sugar was 5.3 when I got up an hour ago, it’s now risen (despite a higher basal and a bolus) to 16... I’m thirsty but don’t dare drink because of this course, I’m not sure I will be able to go to the ladies.
It’s my throat that’s getting me down, I haven’t been to the dr’s but I know it’s tonsillitis from past experience and the blisters all over my throat.

I shouldn’t complain. My MiL is off to the lung cancer clinic.

 

[Jaylee]

Blood sugar was 5.3 when I got up an hour ago, it’s now risen (despite a higher basal and a bolus) to 16... I’m thirsty but don’t dare drink because of this course, I’m not sure I will be able to go to the ladies.
It’s my throat that’s getting me down, I haven’t been to the dr’s but I know it’s tonsillitis from past experience and the blisters all over my throat.

I shouldn’t complain. My MiL is off to the lung cancer clinic.

I don't feel it's going to be like the "Shawshank redemption." I'm certain you will be allowed without question to be excused to the restroom..

Good luck with your course.

 

[ExtremelyW0rried]

I don't feel it's going to be like the "Shawshank redemption." I'm certain you will be allowed without question to be excused to the restroom..

Good luck with your course.

Maybe but I wouldn’t want to get up in front of anyone.
Anyway I deserve to feel ill so it’s fine.

 

[Jaylee]

Maybe but I wouldn’t want to get up in front of anyone.
Anyway I deserve to feel ill so it’s fine.

I don't hold with the "Peter 3:17" aproach myself.

Be assured, you won't find yourself in high vis scrubbing off graffiti.

 

[ExtremelyW0rried]

I don't hold with the "Peter 3:17" aproach myself.

Be assured, you won't find yourself in high vis scrubbing off graffiti.

Probably not.

Just a shame I didn’t wrap my car round a lamppost whilst driving too fast really. Would have solved lot of problems.

I bet the people who run these courses are disgusted by the people attending. I would be.

 

[kitedoc]

Blood sugar was 5.3 when I got up an hour ago, it’s now risen (despite a higher basal and a bolus) to 16... I’m thirsty but don’t dare drink because of this course, I’m not sure I will be able to go to the ladies.
It’s my throat that’s getting me down, I haven’t been to the dr’s but I know it’s tonsillitis from past experience and the blisters all over my throat.

I shouldn’t complain. My MiL is off to the lung cancer clinic.

So please get to your doctor, have your throat treated and for help in getting your BSLs down
whilst your throat treatment takes its time to work.
Comparing yourself to your MIL and martyring yourself is not helpful to you or her !!!