I was diagnosed with type one diabetes 2 weeks before my 21st Birthday, just as i was going into my third year out of five at University. But from that point on i promised myself i would hold my head up high and never let my diabetes control me or stop me in what i wanted to do..... and over the past 13 years I haven’t.
I have completed many challenges that many said I wouldn’t because of my diabetes, and i am very proud of these achievements. I have seen quite a number of diabetic Dr over the years, due to moving all over the world, and each always go on to say “how well i manage my diabetes” and “how they wish more patients were like me”.
I don’t want to stop pushing myself, trying new things and living the life i want...... but recently it has really gotten to me. I have had to recently have an 8 month long “argument” with my current employers about why i need to have a regular lunch break (its “common” in my profession for colleagues to work through lunch and just keep going, but it is becoming more known that this shouldn’t happen). I have been in this profession now 10 years and always “coped” but i was getting fed up of not getting a basic need such as a lunch break so decided to make a stand. This resulted in a lot of stress and arguments and even though it was agreed as a diabetic i should get lunch (and all concerned knew i was diabetic when they hired me) still were unable to give me a regular lunch until legal points where made more prominent .... but why did it have to get that way? Why did i have to fight for something so obvious as a human being let alone a diabetic, that i needed?
I am starting to get tired of always having to “prepare” to do anything physical, including my day to day job. I do not feel my diabetic management is as good as it could be, with large fluctuations occurring due to the physical and unpredictable nature of my job. So many people, even after trying to discuss with them the issues, pitfalls and extra things i have to do because i am a diabetic, just cant comprehend the things we need to do as a diabetic. Even my husband at times (who generally is very understand and does commonly think of me and my diabetes when doing activities). But i am getting tired of always having to prep for everything i do and feel like i am not doing a very good job of it. All the Dr’s i see don’t really have any real advice on what i should be doing, or how i can manage things better, the only advise i was given was get a continual monitor, which i did 6 months ago. But all that has done is shown me how much i do fluctuate, and i am trying to work on getting a smoother line. Dr’s just tend to spend the allocate 30min time they have with me once a year to say Hb1ac is good, bloods look good....are you going to have kids? No, is that because of diabetes? Do you check ketones? Etc etc and give me very little useable advise. I try and see my diabetic nurse every 3 months, but again i get very little advise out of this and I don’t feel i have moved forward much with any professional help....
Its just getting a bit much, after all this time and achievement i feel i am losing the will to keep fighting.... but I don’t want to, i want to keep living the life i want and avoid as much as possible any potential complications diabetes can bring on. But right at this moment, which is a first in the last 13 years since the day i was told i was diabetic.... i just don’t want to be diabetic any more.........
I have completed many challenges that many said I wouldn’t because of my diabetes, and i am very proud of these achievements. I have seen quite a number of diabetic Dr over the years, due to moving all over the world, and each always go on to say “how well i manage my diabetes” and “how they wish more patients were like me”.
I don’t want to stop pushing myself, trying new things and living the life i want...... but recently it has really gotten to me. I have had to recently have an 8 month long “argument” with my current employers about why i need to have a regular lunch break (its “common” in my profession for colleagues to work through lunch and just keep going, but it is becoming more known that this shouldn’t happen). I have been in this profession now 10 years and always “coped” but i was getting fed up of not getting a basic need such as a lunch break so decided to make a stand. This resulted in a lot of stress and arguments and even though it was agreed as a diabetic i should get lunch (and all concerned knew i was diabetic when they hired me) still were unable to give me a regular lunch until legal points where made more prominent .... but why did it have to get that way? Why did i have to fight for something so obvious as a human being let alone a diabetic, that i needed?
I am starting to get tired of always having to “prepare” to do anything physical, including my day to day job. I do not feel my diabetic management is as good as it could be, with large fluctuations occurring due to the physical and unpredictable nature of my job. So many people, even after trying to discuss with them the issues, pitfalls and extra things i have to do because i am a diabetic, just cant comprehend the things we need to do as a diabetic. Even my husband at times (who generally is very understand and does commonly think of me and my diabetes when doing activities). But i am getting tired of always having to prep for everything i do and feel like i am not doing a very good job of it. All the Dr’s i see don’t really have any real advice on what i should be doing, or how i can manage things better, the only advise i was given was get a continual monitor, which i did 6 months ago. But all that has done is shown me how much i do fluctuate, and i am trying to work on getting a smoother line. Dr’s just tend to spend the allocate 30min time they have with me once a year to say Hb1ac is good, bloods look good....are you going to have kids? No, is that because of diabetes? Do you check ketones? Etc etc and give me very little useable advise. I try and see my diabetic nurse every 3 months, but again i get very little advise out of this and I don’t feel i have moved forward much with any professional help....
Its just getting a bit much, after all this time and achievement i feel i am losing the will to keep fighting.... but I don’t want to, i want to keep living the life i want and avoid as much as possible any potential complications diabetes can bring on. But right at this moment, which is a first in the last 13 years since the day i was told i was diabetic.... i just don’t want to be diabetic any more.........