I have given up

[Patrick66]

The last couple of weeks I have felt so overwhelmed that I have just given up..

Anyone who read my last, post-operation thread, would have seen what I was eating, purely to eat, and the guilt I felt about letting myself and everyone else down.

Its so darned difficult. I have such good intentions but the fibro pain is often off the charts, my Autism and Anxiety Disorder are ramped up to ten, I am stressed out, works manic, I have no outside interests and hobbies and I am permanently worn out.

I want to eat healthily; I know what I should eat but I have zero appetite for it. I just don't want it and often the very thought of eating it makes me nauseous. I have tried to balance the "bad" with increased exercise which is very hard to do and only makes my fibro flare up even more. I have three weeks until the dietician (already cancelled once) and feel I am just clinging on in the vain hope she mentions something that appeals; that I can eat and that I won't avoid.

My fasting blood is okay but I wouldn't expect much else as I don't eat much even if it is "bad" stuff.

But I just can't cope eating LCHF right now.

I want to. But I have given up.

Sorry.

 

[Juicyj]

@Patrick66 Honestly no need to apologise

You are still in recovery and from the sound of it putting too much pressure on yourself. Have you considered asking your team for a meeting with a dietitian to get some support and to find a way to incorporate healthy eating into your life.

To adapt your diet in transitioning to LCHF can be difficult when you're not used to it and don't have many recipes to resort to so the pressure increases, finding a half way house sounds like a more sensible solution.

 

[Member496333]

Patrick have you tried CBD oil? It may help with the pain and anxiety.

 

[Patrick66]

@Patrick66 Honestly no need to apologise

You are still in recovery and from the sound of it putting too much pressure on yourself. Have you considered asking your team for a meeting with a dietitian to get some support and to find a way to incorporate healthy eating into your life.

To adapt your diet in transitioning to LCHF can be difficult when you're not used to it and don't have many recipes to resort to so the pressure increases, finding a half way house sounds like a more sensible solution.

Yes, my dieticians appointment was cancelled at under an hours notice last week.

Now its 4th June. And my team ?. My team is just me.

I was doing just fine in the build up to the operation but now I'm just eating to survive so its anything...within reason..or nothing at all.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

The last couple of weeks I have felt so overwhelmed that I have just given up..

Anyone who read my last, post-operation thread, would have seen what I was eating, purely to eat, and the guilt I felt about letting myself and everyone else down.

Its so darned difficult. I have such good intentions but the fibro pain is often off the charts, my Autism and Anxiety Disorder are ramped up to ten, I am stressed out, works manic, I have no outside interests and hobbies and I am permanently worn out.

I want to eat healthily; I know what I should eat but I have zero appetite for it. I just don't want it and often the very thought of eating it makes me nauseous. I have tried to balance the "bad" with increased exercise which is very hard to do and only makes my fibro flare up even more. I have three weeks until the dietician (already cancelled once) and feel I am just clinging on in the vain hope she mentions something that appeals; that I can eat and that I won't avoid.

My fasting blood is okay but I wouldn't expect much else as I don't eat much even if it is "bad" stuff.

But I just can't cope eating LCHF right now.

I want to. But I have given up.

Sorry.

Don't apologise. Lord knows you've done everything you could and then some. Cut yourself some slack. And Jim's suggestion's a good one, though do be careful if you're on anti-depressants and the like: if you try CBD oil, do it a drop a day for a week, then make it two, just take it slowly and build up at a slow pace. And quit if you think it's messing with your head eh. My mom's on antidepressants and she just takes 3 drops a day, no more than that. Me, I'm not on any antidepressants, and I can go up to 15. (And it does help my anxiety, which is extreme. Plus, my inflammation-prone joints love the stuff.).

Just keep taking care of yourself the best way you can. Whatever that may mean at any given time eh.
Hugs,
Jo

 

[Patrick66]

Patrick have you tried CBD oil? It may help with the pain and anxiety.

I couldn't do that> I am exceptionally wary of anything cannabis based as it would go against my exceedingly strong anti-drug beliefs. But I appreciate the point you make.

 

[Member496333]

I couldn't do that> I am exceptionally wary of anything cannabis based as it would go against my exceedingly strong anti-drug beliefs. But I appreciate the point you make.

That’s fair enough, but CBD oil does not contain any THC and is thus no more psychoactive than a cup of coffee.

Your choice though of course. Best wishes.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

I couldn't do that> I am exceptionally wary of anything cannabis based as it would go against my exceedingly strong anti-drug beliefs. But I appreciate the point you make.

My fiancé died of an (intentional) drug overdose, well over 20 years ago. So I'm rather anti-drugs myself, to put it mildly. (In other words, when on TV use of a heroin needle or something is suggested, I'll still burst into tears.). Like Jim said, there's no THC in there, and it won't make you high, woozy or anything else. It's not addictive either, or anything like that. It took me a long time to try it because of my feelings about drugs, and now I'm sorry I didn't take it sooner, considering the pain I was in, both in my joints and in my mind. It's just something to mull over, maybe read a little about? But a no's a no, and it's up to you.

 

[Juicyj]

Yes, my dieticians appointment was cancelled at under an hours notice last week.

Now its 4th June. And my team ?. My team is just me.

I was doing just fine in the build up to the operation but now I'm just eating to survive so its anything...within reason..or nothing at all.

Do you have a new date ? If not call them now and chase it up, getting a date in the diary will give you something to focus on.

 

[Tophat1900]

All I can suggest is that you do whatever you feel you need to do to get yourself back in the right frame of mind. Take it one step at a time. You're under a lot of physical and mental stress. maybe think back to how things were before you started having the eating issues you've been posting about. What made things better then, no idea if this helps at all, but it's all I can think of right now.

 

[DCUKMod]

@Patrick66 - I come back again to my original assertion. I don't think you are ready to be back at work yet.

Recovery from surgery isn't just about a couple of edges of skin coming together. It's about the whole person.

Years ago, when I had my hysterectomy, I was exceptionally well afterwards. I didn't need any pain meds when I got home from hospital. I was swimming after just a few weeks, driving in 4 and went back to work, part time (well, had work at home).

Within about a week, I metaphorically hit the wall. I was just sssssooooooooooo exhausted. It took me months to properly recver from that piece of insanity.

Give yourself a break. You need to heal, not be beating yourself up for not achieving your ideal. None of us are perfect.

 

[Chook]

Some people find low carbing to be easy, some people just don't get on with it at all and other people can only do it successfully when other parts of their life are fairly settled. I get the feeling you have done your absolute best to eat this way but the combination of a diet that isn't intuitive for you plus your other health issues AND your work issues is just too much for you to cope with at the moment.

From what you say your work and health problems aren't going to change any time soon so the only thing you can do something about is what you eat. Would it make life a bit easier to cope with if you went back to your old way of eating and took more meds? Maybe have a chat with your GP about this. It needn't be forever, you can always give the low carb way of eating another go when you are feeling less stressed.

I'm posting this as a person who used to be on lots of insulin and other diabetes meds and who now controls it with just diet and metformin.

 

[lovinglife]

I agree with @Chook - I think it's time to look at this holistically and treat your whole self and not separate conditions etc.
Eat the food you like within reason with the help of meds, if this improves your physical and mental health all round then that's the way to go. You couldn't have tried harder to do it on diet only and it's not working for you and that IS NOT your fault, there is no shame in taking meds if you need them, and for your overall health and well being you do

We are never one thing but a sum of our parts - do what you need to do to help those parts work as one

 

[Patrick66]

Do you have a new date ? If not call them now and chase it up, getting a date in the diary will give you something to focus on.

Yes, the 4th of June. Three weeks or so.

 

[Patrick66]

All I can suggest is that you do whatever you feel you need to do to get yourself back in the right frame of mind. Take it one step at a time. You're under a lot of physical and mental stress. maybe think back to how things were before you started having the eating issues you've been posting about. What made things better then, no idea if this helps at all, but it's all I can think of right now.

I strived because I had an operation to do it for; a target. But now I just don't feel like I can manage which only makes things worse.

 

[NicoleC1971]

The last couple of weeks I have felt so overwhelmed that I have just given up..

Anyone who read my last, post-operation thread, would have seen what I was eating, purely to eat, and the guilt I felt about letting myself and everyone else down.

Its so darned difficult. I have such good intentions but the fibro pain is often off the charts, my Autism and Anxiety Disorder are ramped up to ten, I am stressed out, works manic, I have no outside interests and hobbies and I am permanently worn out.

I want to eat healthily; I know what I should eat but I have zero appetite for it. I just don't want it and often the very thought of eating it makes me nauseous. I have tried to balance the "bad" with increased exercise which is very hard to do and only makes my fibro flare up even more. I have three weeks until the dietician (already cancelled once) and feel I am just clinging on in the vain hope she mentions something that appeals; that I can eat and that I won't avoid.

My fasting blood is okay but I wouldn't expect much else as I don't eat much even if it is "bad" stuff.

But I just can't cope eating LCHF right now.

I want to. But I have given up.

Sorry.

Feel for you but you've reached out so I am guessing you want to find a way through what must feel like rock bottom from your description.
What one little thing might you feel 90% confident of doing on a daily basis that will help? Can you do that for 1 day then decide if you can do it again the next day.
Taking it day by day or even hour by hour with a very small thing might give you a little more confidence to do more. Jumping right off the high board is hardest and most prone to 'failure' (that is in quotes because it truly isn't an epic fail but just a learning point unless of course you give up trying).

 

[Patrick66]

@Patrick66 - I come back again to my original assertion. I don't think you are ready to be back at work yet.

Recovery from surgery isn't just about a couple of edges of skin coming together. It's about the whole person.

Years ago, when I had my hysterectomy, I was exceptionally well afterwards. I didn't need any pain meds when I got home from hospital. I was swimming after just a few weeks, driving in 4 and went back to work, part time (well, had work at home).

Within about a week, I metaphorically hit the wall. I was just sssssooooooooooo exhausted. It took me months to properly recver from that piece of insanity.

Give yourself a break. You need to heal, not be beating yourself up for not achieving your ideal. None of us are perfect.

Well I cant take any time off nor be signed off. Works totally manic. We already have three people off and we are snowed under with work which has suddenly gone haywire. Its just how it is and whilst I was off things just exploded.

Unfortunately I'm just so disillusioned with the job and other things its self-perpetuating badness all round. The wounds healed nicely now so there's no physical reason to be off and mentally I'm just as bad as I have ever been and being off, at home, with no focus or routine, can be even worse.

 

[Patrick66]

Some people find low carbing to be easy, some people just don't get on with it at all and other people can only do it successfully when other parts of their life are fairly settled. I get the feeling you have done your absolute best to eat this way but the combination of a diet that isn't intuitive for you plus your other health issues AND your work issues is just too much for you to cope with at the moment.

From what you say your work and health problems aren't going to change any time soon so the only thing you can do something about is what you eat. Would it make life a bit easier to cope with if you went back to your old way of eating and took more meds? Maybe have a chat with your GP about this. It needn't be forever, you can always give the low carb way of eating another go when you are feeling less stressed.

I'm posting this as a person who used to be on lots of insulin and other diabetes meds and who now controls it with just diet and metformin.

I am on the maximum dose of metformin already and other drugs might lead to other issues that I have to avoid in case they cause me more stress.

I was doing LCHF so well but my interest in any food is just sinking. Its not that I crave sweet stuff particularly but rather I don't know what to eat that I will enjoy...at all.

 

[Patrick66]

I agree with @Chook - I think it's time to look at this holistically and treat your whole self and not separate conditions etc.
Eat the food you like within reason with the help of meds, if this improves your physical and mental health all round then that's the way to go. You couldn't have tried harder to do it on diet only and it's not working for you and that IS NOT your fault, there is no shame in taking meds if you need them, and for your overall health and well being you do

We are never one thing but a sum of our parts - do what you need to do to help those parts work as one

I'm already on the max dose of metformin.

Its just food in general. Taking an already restricted spectrum of foods I will eat (including some bad stuff) and then squeezing it even more. Then going back to bad habits, feeling guilty, doing that more, then trying to stop, then just losing interest in food...or 95% of it.

I want to enjoy LCHF and I did for a while but now there's nothing left and even the bad stuff upsets me because I know I shouldn't eat it so don't really enjoy it then try to be good...and it falls apart again.

 

[Patrick66]

Feel for you but you've reached out so I am guessing you want to find a way through what must feel like rock bottom from your description.
What one little thing might you feel 90% confident of doing on a daily basis that will help? Can you do that for 1 day then decide if you can do it again the next day.
Taking it day by day or even hour by hour with a very small thing might give you a little more confidence to do more. Jumping right off the high board is hardest and most prone to 'failure' (that is in quotes because it truly isn't an epic fail but just a learning point unless of course you give up trying).

I don't feel confident about doing anything on a daily basis.

My better half looks after me but has to remind me to take meds, eat anything, even dress appropriately...my choice of colours is apparently a bit "strong" lol..

I lost all my confidence in myself many years ago. I went from someone who taught himself to read hieroglyphs to someone who no longer can because two strokes messed up my head and anhedonia came in and ruined the rest. Then fibromyalgia decided it was missing out on the fun and wrecked the physical side of my life.