Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabetes!

[torres9]

Im 19, been diabetic since 13 (type 1)
At the start I controlled it reasonably well (about 18 months), but since I have had so many problems!. At the moment...

1) I miss insulin dosages
2) Dont check my blood sugar levels (not done for 6 months)
3) Dont have a good diet, eat sweets choc and drinks
4) Drink loads of alchol on a regular night out (5 pints, vodka, coke) (once a week'ish)
5) My HPAC1 (or whatever its called lol) is around 12 every time its checked

I have had this feeling from when I was diagnosed that one day when I grow up that I would have everything under control (by 18 yrs age?) but I really dont look after myself well enough. I cant cope with being diabetic so I basically pretend im not and live like anyone else. I cant find the motivation to control it and stand up to being diabetic. I need help, any suggestions?

 

[Sid Bonkers]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Hi torres, and welcome to the forum.

You sound as if you know you should have better control and now that you have found us here perhaps reading the forum will give you the motivation to start taking better care of yourself.

It can't be easy to deal with T1 at your age, but the better care you take now the longer you will enjoy good health. Because diabetic complications don't happen overnight it is easy to be complacent and push your diabetes care onto the back burner.

I am sure someone will have been in your position and will be able to offer some tips to help to you.

Good luck

 

[Levy]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Hi Torres welcome to the forum!

I know exactly how you feel, I've been like that myself for years. I got diagnosed when I was 14 and also did not do too bad at the beginning. At some point when everything sinks in and you realise how much effort you have to put in to keep everything in check, as a teenager you just get fed up. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to eat when and what I wanted, I wanted to go out and get ****** like everyone else, and not be held back by having to check a few times a day or have to stick needles in my tum...

I'm 22 now and have only just come to terms with things myself. I think part of it just has to do with being young. I'm sure you will get to this point yourself soon. A really really big help for me was this forum. Actually facing your condition (I never researched it before or talked to anyone about it because that would mean I was reminded of the fact I have it) and talking to people who go through the same as you helps so much with learning to accept it! What you could also do is mention to your nurse that you're having a hard time and she could no doubt make you an appointment to see a psychologist (I have mine in 2 weeks time).

The biggest incentive for me to try and get it under control a lot better is that I want to be able to think about getting pregnant in a few years' time and I need to get my body prepared for that. Things are a lot easier for me now! I really hope you will find a way to accept your diabetes soon. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to PM me I am here for you as no doubt loads of others on here are

Best of luck with everything Torres and send me a message if you need anything!

 

[sugarless sue]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Motivation ?

How about.....

Getting married.

Having children.

Growing old enough to see Grandchildren.

Being active enough to hold down a good job and enjoying life to the full.

You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Make the best of it.

 

[Levy]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Yeah they certainly work although I can understand that at 19 those are not the things you are seriously thinking about just yet, no the first things on your mind. You want to have fun and not have to worry about things like that. In a way it's quite unfair as you can never have a childhood where you have nothing to worry about. You are forced to grow up early and take responsibility for your actions straight away. It's understandable kids and especially teens have problems doing that. I only just realised this all at 22. :roll:

 

[cugila]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

As a young Diabetic it pays to take Diabetes seriously whatever age you are. You want to do the same things all your mates are doing, well that's definitely possible with a few caveat's but NOT if you ignore things and let things get out of control. HbA1c is way too high and needs addressing asap. Going back to testing and a proper treatment regime has to be your number 1 priority for now.

Set yourself achievable targets and stick to them. a little at a time and take heart when you can see improvements.

Sure it's all a pain in the proverbial but when I was 19 I wanted to live life to the full. If I had been a Diabetic back then I would still have wanted the same and done whatever it took to stay that way.......jabs, carb counting etc. That would have been my motivation.......

Stick with what you need to do and read about those succesful sportsmen and women who have T1 and still do ALL they want in their lives, they are all an inspiration to anybody who is getting fed up with the Diabetes.

Be true to yourself and take pride in what you do, show everybody you are motivated, you are concerned about your long term health.......

ATB.

 

[levana]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Hi torres,

I find your terminology interesting. You are speaking of _motivation_, when you realize your life is at stake. Sure, we are talking the long run. Still. Who needs to find the motivation to live? Can you seriously say you do not wish to live? I don't think so.

This is something that needs to be at the front of your mind all the time: It is Your Life we are talking about. Being like everybody else and being a popular guy is useless if you are not alive to enjoy it.

Why is it that you have a problem with your motivation to control your diabetes, really? The problem is not the fact that you are different from your friends. The problem is they are different from you. The problem is you hang out with people who DON'T have diabetes. So you go alone with the norms that they set up. Norms that are in fact deadly for you. Yes, deadly. In the long run.

Surely it will take a lot of time and a lot of suffering until it comes that. But still. Think about it. What your friends demand of you without actually saying it or even being aware of it, is: "you must be like us if you want to be our friend. You must act according to our norms. You must have fun the way we want to have fun. If this means risking your life- so be it!" What you must say to them is: No. That is the difficulty.

You must say to them: "if you want to be my friends, you should be considerate of me. Of what I can and cannot do. Of what is healthy for me and of what is just too risky for me. I cannot eat whenever or whatever everybody else feels like having at the moment. I cannot play games of sports spontaneously without planning it first, I cannot drink alcohol whenever and in whatever amount that you do. If you are true friends, understand this, and change your norms so they can suit me, too".

That takes guts. I have not yet really managed to do it myself, so don't think I'm just preaching you here. I know how hard it is. I am now preaching to myself at the same time. It is so hard to say this simple thing: "I am different, and you should be considerate of my different needs". You and I have to say it always, to keep saying it over and over again. Even to the people we desperately want to leave a good impression on. But it's worth it: we get to live! There is nothing in the world that is a better motivation for a living organism, actually.

 

[mtr01]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Think of this for motivation..any time spent keeping diabetes in check, is time added to your possible life span. That motivation works for me.

 

[TheSparkyPony]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Trust me, you'll find it.

I'm 19 too, and have been diabetic since I was 8. I was good for the first 2 years (mainly because my parents helped me). My parents then divorced, my mother was working all the hours in the world so no one kept an eye on me - it all went downhill from there.

I wouldn't think anything of not doing a BM for months. I never took my night time insulin. Doctors only started to question my lack of prescriptions after a year or so, so to satisfy them I used to take prescriptions of insulin, but hide them in my room so it looked like I was taking them.

I used to eat **** all day long, would only inject when I remembered, and drank so much liquid that life just wasn't fun. I was constantly seeking out my next drink, couldn't leave home without money to buy one when out.

I've been in hospital with DKA more times than I can count too.

2010 was a bad year. I developed neuropathy in my feet and parts of my legs. I then started throwing up after meals. After more tests, I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis. I was 18, and had no life. I have horses, and I was struggling to do anything with them. I had no energy, was in and out of hospital, and something had to give.

I never thought that I would change. Ever. Search my name on here, I've done posts about being in denial, and if I'd ever change my mindframe. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it to 25 without being 6ft under or on dialysis.

Went into hospital in Jan this year with a Kidney infection/DKA. I stayed in for longer, deliberately, and recalculated EVERYTHING. What I should have been taking, what to eat. Like I was newly diagnosed again.

And guess what? It's all clicked. My HBA1C in December was 14%. Blood test yesterday showed it was down to 7% :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: And I've been out of hospital since the 14th January.

I'm not going to lie, it's hard, very hard. I remember bursting into tears the other day as I woke up at 25 (hypo during night) and it took a couple of hours for it to come down.

I have REALLY rambled here, but the point it, it will come. It took me forever, but the difference I feel in myself is amazing.
I'm now preparing to go to university to do Nursing BSc in September. I'm determined to get through the next few years with no hospital admissions, but I know in order to do that I have to work hard.

If you ever want to rant, or need help, PM me. Sometimes it helps to have another perspective by someone your own age. I don't know anyone my age who is diabetic, and it does get me down xxxxx

 

[donnellysdogs]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

You are an inspiration Sparkypony....I also had a time when I did not behave as diabetics are advised to, but I too came around. Your posting should be an inspiration to anybody reading....really so pleased that you have now got your hba1c down to a good level. Well done you!!!!

 

[TheSparkyPony]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

You are an inspiration Sparkypony....I also had a time when I did not behave as diabetics are advised to, but I too came around. Your posting should be an inspiration to anybody reading....really so pleased that you have now got your hba1c down to a good level. Well done you!!!!

You are making me blush I never thought in a million years I could be a potential inspiration to anyone!

Realistically though, even when I put up posts not dissimilar to this one, users were telling me all about them, and I completely related but still couldn't see how they managed it.

Ultimately, the only person who can help you is yourself, but just don't forget those around you, as I know I alienated myself a lot. I'm re-establishing a relationship with my consultant and DN and things are a lot easier. I know if I screw up, it's not the end of the world, because I know I can get back on track and they are there to help me, not hinder or criticize me.

Will be thinking of you Torres9 xx

 

[iklpixi]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Hi torres9,

since you posted your initial message you've had many opinions and advice, so here's mine - tis only my story (i'll tell you as briefly as i can) but it may give you the kick up the backside you need....though if you're anything like me it prob wont.
I was diagnosed with T1 at 19 and tbh my control and effort was minimal right up until the last couple of years. You talk about living a 'normal' life and acting as if your not diabetic - i've lived my whole life like that (basically in complete denial) UNTIL last year i was diagnosed with retinopathy and have since received laser treatment (not pleasant) to treat it. Now doubtful i'll ever have any more children (too risky, can escalate the retinopathy which can mean blindness which is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING) also feels as though this is the start of a decline in my overall health. I'm 38 btw but feel (and look) like an old woman sometimes. i've actually now started seeing a pyschiatrist to try and find out why i'm continuously following patterns, WHY don't i take this condition seriously??? Even though i've had first-hand experience of the dangers of poor diabetic control i STILL can't find the motivation - and that's despite having a beautiful 9 yr old daughter, lovely partner, good job, house, etc.
Reason i'm saying this to you is that if you don't start taking yourself seriously NOW you could definitely end up like this. At your age i met a woman in hospital who was prob about the same age as me now, she happily told me that she would not let this diabetes run her life, but she had lost a leg and most of her sight - EVEN THIS DID NOT MAKE ME BELIEVE THIS COULD BE ME ONE DAY - But it can i'm afraid....
Don't mean to be the angel of doom, just wanted to share the realities of diabetes. Please please sort yourself out, it'll be worth it in 20+ years time. Don't know how much support you get from your family, friends, diabetic medical team....if it's not a lot then go ask for it, also helps to have people that can help you - not easy to deal with on your own.
Good luck x

 

[diabetes51]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

People with chronic conditions go through the grieving process, at what they see as a lack of independence, freedom etc. Whereas most people think you go through the stages until you reach acceptance, this is untrue. Things that happen in your life can push you backwards at anytime.

I have had diabetes since I was 9 years old and I have been through times such as you. People told me the same things you have been told on here, think of your life in the future etc. I personally never found that worked. What I needed was short term goals, after all what is going to happen to you in 5, 10, 15 years time rarely means anything at your age.

So you need to start planning ways to cope in short steps.

First thing - the diabetes will not go away, no matter how much you ignore it. So how are YOU going to come to terms with that.
Second - do you have someone that listens to you, lets you talk about how you feel without condemnation, which you do not need. Sometimes just talking out how you feel, your problems etc can help. I let my diabetes go when a close family member killed themself, because they thought they had diabetes. It took me time to get back on track, with the help of a close friend who would listen to and support me.
Third - if you do not have someone to talk to then ask your GP for a referral to a psychologist, diabetics who are not coping well are entitled to that sort of help. Trouble is this is not well advertised, but it sounds to me like you need a professional to help you, who is qualified in helping with the sort of problems you are experiencing. If you google "psychologist and diabetes" you will see that psychological support is being provided in many health trusts now. Some of these articles provide research evidence that psychological help is of benefit to individuals with diabetes who are having problems coping. Print some of them off and take them to your GP.
Lastly - best wishes in your attempt to come to terms with this condition, you have taken the first step in admitting you have a problem.

Liz

 

[Propertyoflife]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

Hey,

I am in the same situation as you and don't know if this helps BUT

As I said, I do the exact same things as you and went on holiday recently, drank far too much alcohol whilst completely ignoring my diabetes. I woke up and found my arm was numb from the tip of my fingers to my elbow and I couldn't flex my wrist without using my other arm to help...

I was a bit freaked out and it hadn't improved by the time I got home from hols. So I went to the doctor. After chatting to them they asked if this had happened before and I realised that for the last 18 months or so I would occasionally experience numbness in three of my fingers which would just go away on its own. After explaining this to the doctor we started to go into my control of my diabetes which was non existent (and still is to a certain extent). Doctors advised me this may be the cause and if it is I could permanently lose the use of my arm.

I have an appointment with the neurologist on August the 2nd and this happened on March 18th. There has been no improvement for me and although it may be totally unrelated to my lack of diabetic control, it terrifies me that it could be.

I'm a student nurse and have been declared unfit for practice until further notice so have had to suspend my course.

I am still not managing my diabetes and realise this is a huge problem so I am seeking help, possibly in the form of counselling, which may help you too.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I totally understand that it's difficult to find 'motivation' but seriously, even if it's not caused by my diabetes, it could have been. And look at the effect it could have on my life. When really there is no need.

My advice would be DON'T try and do it on your own. You've tried that approach and it's clearly not working, so speak to someone as soon as possible to try and give yourself the support and ultimately the motivation you feel you need right now.

Good luck and I hope it goes well for you.

(I appreciate that I'm not in the best position to advise btw, but hope this highlights the need to get on top of things a little)

 

[Phoebe13]

Re: Help? Just cant find the motivation to control my diabet

I'm so glad to read that I'm not the only one struggling with this! After seeing so many posts where people talk about their amazing control and how low they keep their sugar levels, I felt like an absolute freak (more than my diabetes already makes me feel!)

The trouble is, after several years of trying to hide my diabetes, I just genuinely forget to do my tests/insulin, and then remember hours later "Oh ****, I meant to check my levels three hours ago. Ah well, I'll leave it til the next mealtime." I think the best way is to take baby steps. I'll wake up in the morning and do my first test right away. When I have breakfast (not always first thing), I'll check the time and make a note of the time for my next test. Although, I do forget, so maybe something like setting an alarm on my phone would help. As I work in an office, it's easy to lose track of the time.

As levana said, I think I also need to make my friends/colleagues etc aware of my diabetes and the restrictions on my life that it causes, at the moment I hate telling people about it because I always get treated differently once people know about it, which I absolutely cannot stand! If I was not shy or reticent about doing injections/tests in front of people, I'd feel more free to do them as and when required, rather than going to the toilets or hiding in a corner somewhere so people don't stare and think I'm a freak or a junkie! (I've been called both to my face for injecting/testing in public when I was younger, which I think is why I feel like I don't want people to know..) But it is hard, I rarely speak even my boyfriend (who I've been with for almost 5 years) about my diabetes, and if my family try to talk about it I always change the subject.

Anyway, torres, I'm not sure if I've said anything helpful in the way of advice, but I am so relieved I am not alone in this! I'm 23 by the way, and have been diabetic for over 10 years. My control used to be fine, when I lived at home with my parents, but everything went out the window when I moved out at 19 to go to university.