A letter to work "Day 3 of returning after 5 weeks"

Teravoc

Member
Messages
11
INTRODUCTION: This is a real letter I have had to send my boss after returning to work from being newly diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic. People have not been speeking to me at work since I returned and ive been pritty much ignored. I work for a very large company and I have worked with some people for 10 years. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do I would love to hear them.



Hi .....,

I wanted to let you know that I have heard some disturbing news about what has been happening at work while I have been away. As you are aware I raised some concerns with you surrounding "odd" behaviour from many of my colleagues especially from the .. team. I was quite distressed to hear tonight that ... ......... has been investigating my time off after being newly diagnosed with diabetes type 1, with other diabetics at work to see how my time off compaires with there own experiences with getting the diagnosis. The one diabetic I will mention here although I hear there where several, is .. ......... who works on the ..... ..... desk who is very well known for having the same condition. I feel I now have to justify the five weeks I have had with all the people they have spoken too, of which I am aware is most of the department.

Including ...... ............. who tonight after hearing how I felt about it can confirm that this actually happened. To me this explains that I have returned to such a cold reception from .... and much of the department, also their current undermining behaviour with me. They collectivly feel I have taken unduely time-off, I hope this wont now become a witch hunt or affect my proffesional relationship that I have kept with people, particularly ......

Diabetes Type 1 affects people in different ways, when I was diagnosed I can only say having such dangerously high sugar levels as I did makes you feel like your going to die, even though I felt this way I still had good work attendance, I still stayed back late and did the best I could to do the job I was assigned to do. I am also seconded and as you are aware I am currently working for the oportunity to further my career, I do not get any financial benefit from my role, Further to this while I have been off I have currently only been paid for 25 hours per week as officially im on a part time contract when actually I was working between 36 - 40 hours per week and in some cases even more depending on work load. I did this even though I knew something was seriously wrong with me.

In the first week of my diagnosis, I had to visit the hospital at least 3 days in a row and my GP twice. I had to have 2 sets of blood tests then rushed to hospital to get my first insolin shot, which I could not do myself. I was told this had to be done twice a day for the rest of my life. My colesterol was also dangerously high to the point they had grave concerns that I should not be allowed home.

Week 2 I had to make dramatic changes in my diet, all the food I had was wrong this took 3 hospital appointments to see the dietician, These appointments took approximately 4 hours each time as I had alot of questions about what was required.

Week 3 I had 2 GP appointments to see the diabetic nurse and 2 hospital appointments to see the nurse to check on progress since my blood was very difficult to control at first.. They decided to up the insolin dose they also started talking to me about accepting the possibility I was on symbostatins the rest of my life. I belive I called you at around this time to update you on my progress and offered to work from home.

Week 4, I had 3 more hospital appointments. They had to check my feet for nerve damage and/or gangreen as diabetics have to watch for this they also had to check to see if my kidneys where damaged. Dont know about you but urine tests on demand is not fun to do, and yup more blood tests to monitor progress unfortunately they could not find a vein very easily so i had to go through the process several times.

Week 5, Now I was hoping to return after the forth week however after realising that I still had not had a hypo the hospital was at the time discussing if I should actually be admitted and have a hypo induced, so I would know the signs and what to look for I also had an appointment with the GP to check on other tests they had done and a further dietician appointment. I was also expecting an eye test appointment of which I am still waiting for.

I am sorry that at this time I didnt feel it was appropriate of me to attend work, and I would have worked from home.

Dont get me wrong I wasnt expecting flowers or anything, I did not expect people least of all ... to be discussing my diagnosis and time off with my colleages I also was depressed to hear that they feel my lifestyle choices was the cause of my diabetes. Even so it would be completely inopropriate if this was the case but "Type 1 diabetes" is genetic this is an auto-immune desease where somthing triggers my Genes into attacking my B cells so i dont produce insolin like a normal person, This is not because I was overweight and drank redbull in the morning.

Having to face work tomorrow will be difficult knowing that people have this opinion of me, I think its unfair that I now have the feeling there out to get me and make my name mud, when I have worked so hard for nothing extra.

I dont know how to approach this situation, I will talk with you tomorrow via a call about this matter.

Many Thanks
...............
 

LadyJ

Active Member
Messages
42
Hi Teravoc

Your letter looks fine to me. You have clearly expressed your concerns and worries- it is now up to your employer to deal with this in an appropriate manner and to address this grievance (this is effectively what this amounts to).

One thing I would add: their sharing of information with other staff and colleagues is completely inappropriate. Information realting to health is sensitive personal data and should not be bandied around the office. Not only is it disproprtionate and potentially discriminatory that they are mistrusting you by "asking round" to see what unqualified people consider a reasonable time off, but they have also breached confidentiality obligations they owe you. I would specifically outline this in your letter and see what they make of that.

Finally, you may also wish to mention the emotional/psychological effects of being diagnosed with a serious chronic illness. I know that when I was diagnosed, apart from the fact that I was being prodded and poked and felt I'd had about 6 litres of blood taken for all the tests, I was also emotionally distraught. I felt a sense of grief at having lost the old healthy me and instead now had to deal with (what seemed at the time) a battle to stay alive and healthy. I imagined going blind, losing limbs, the lot. This is common and is not to be underestimated.

Cheers
 

ChocFish

Well-Known Member
Messages
963
Excellent post Lady J -

Good luck Terravoc, you have enough to handle as it is; you dont need this kind of upset from selfish, inconsiderate work colleagues on top of everything else.

All the best

Karen
 

jakeatyork

Member
Messages
22
i pesonally think your employers/ work collegues are behaving disgracefully and what you are experiancing is basically disability discrmination( or)the very first stages of it and as my own G.P. stated very recently to my own employers,HE is my G.P. and he defines my condition and ability to work and not them ,i would suggest you talk with your G.P.and explain what you are going through at work and ask him to contact your H.R. DEPT and explain to the people who need to know ,what your present condition entails ,failing this ask to be referred to occupational health dept if your employer has one,and make your concerns known to them,also contact your union and let them know about your situation.

regards jake P.S. keep us informed how you get on ,you are amongst freinds on this forum.
 

TROUBR

Well-Known Member
Messages
203
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi

I had just over 5 weeks off work after diagnosis - in fact they did not know what was happening to me for the first couple of days (I sent a text to my boss saying that an ambulance was coming for me and my hubby was all over the place and forgot to let them know and I was stuck in the HDU so couldn't!), if the doctor signed you off then you were not fit to work simple as. My eye sight had only just started to get back to normal after this time and I have to say the first few days back were knackering.

It might also be helpful if you circulate info able how to deal with you if you have a hypo (this is what I did although I have to say my colleagues were the opposite of yours). Perhaps they may take it more seriously if they read at bit about it rather than just assuming and with some people they may just not know what to say to you.

Sorry it has been so hard for you.

Louise
 

Teravoc

Member
Messages
11
OK So this is really getting to be play ground stuff... however at the moment all I can do is try and protect myself by sending emails about situations to my manager, this happened today and I have tried to keep this letter to my manager really proffesional, it doesnt really stress how massivly agressive and abusive this other manager was to me today. Now Im not the sort of person who goes and crys in the corner added to the fact im a guy and very good with my emotions, and I certainly do not buy in to "play ground Tactics" It makes me really sad to have to send a second WHINEY Email to my manager in day 4 :( Its not as well constructed but It was a verbal conversation I had to get down as much as possible.

This conversation was reguarding a conversation I had with the manager of the person who was going around telling people I should be sacked and Diabetes is my fault yada yada yada..


Hi ......,



I went down to the .. bay to see ..... however he was on a call, He acknowledged I was there and indicated to me he would be 5 minutes. I sat to wait and made notes of things I had for him, While waiting ......... asked that I speak with her. She was quite upset about the fact that I had arranged a meeting "underhandedly", and was referring to the meeting we had yesterday with "EDIT 5 people". I explained that .. had been informed of the meeting as soon as it was arranged and .... was more then welcome to attend, or any member of .. could be there. I also explained this was an optional meeting. I also pointed out that .... ......... was there to represent ... To which point she explained that ... had missed another appointment by attending my meeting and that I should have arranged it another time. I explained that .... involvement in this meeting was optional, and that .... ........ could only attend this week on that day. She was very unhappy that ..... was upset because of “what I had caused”, I said that I had not caused this and informed all of ... that this meeting was informal and really an Optional requirement, She replied that the meeting was NOT optional and that ".... own the flows" and that the people we had the meeting with where her clients. She went on to say that I should do everything with ...... as one team, and reminded me that ...... had done my job for 5 weeks that I was away. I said that this kind of thing did not make me feel “part of a team” as I did not intentionally cause any problem and that I made ..... aware of the meeting as soon as it happened. I then asked why people have responded in this way since I have returned to work I pointed out this is the first conversation that ....... has had with me on returning and felt that this was unfair and she should contact you about this not speak directly to me with this as I did not make the meeting without instruction. She did not feel this was necessary as we are one team. I pointed out to her at this time that I had a current complaint that I was not going to take any further at this point however I have not felt welcome by her team and as such against her suggestion of sitting with her, I have declined to do so until it is necessary when the trial team starts. She went on to say that she had been concerned about me while I have been away and that the team does see me as a member and that if anything has been said I should see her with regards to this. I explained that I thought it was more appropriate to approach you my Manager with any problems I may be having and that I will take this very matter up with you. She stated that it was not necessary to approach you about this and that the matter is closed. She stated during the conversation she felt as if I where showing “Paranoid” behaviour, I said I didn’t think I was being paranoid when two people who had no vested interest in my well being approached me outside of working hours, however I would be happy to leave it at this point.



I have since had a meeting with ......, ........ said at the start of that meeting that someone had told them that I said I did not want ....... to attend the meeting yesterday. It was likely this that this had caused .......... to approach me in such a manor. Which is completely the opposite of what had taken place as, within minutes of arranging the meeting I did approach .......... as you are fully aware. Added to the fact that .......... was in attendance and aware that it was “optional attendance” by there department. I continued to have the meeting with ......... and highlighting the things we had taken from that interview.



Many Thanks

............ .............

Its a shame we dont live in society where its acceptable to name and shame, Im sure its proberbly quite hard to understand what took place just by reading the letter. Basically I was verbally abused by a manager for doing stuff "Wrong" when in fact I did nothing at all wrong, I did everything right and yet still got a load of verbal abuse really, even though I said take this up with my manager.

I will keep you all informed of this lovely journey of returning to work after diagnosis...

In reply to the people that said contact the union, I have there actually good friends with me, and at the moment im actually sitting amongst the union staff, I have been keeping them aware of the situation off the record for now. Their of the opionion so far im making the right moves and responding correctly. My manager has been ineffective, unfortunately hes a great manager at some things but not a great people manager when it comes to things like "Return to work" stuff or this kind of back stabbing tactics.

Tell you what though, it sure keeps your mind off the fact I have diabetes.
 

Katharine

Well-Known Member
Messages
819
Another thing that is well worth doing is to explain to your work mates is HOW to spot you are having a hypo and WHAT to do about it.

This is from the Dsolve course at http://www.dsolve.com

Dealing with low blood sugars
It is essential that you, your family and work colleagues know exactly what to do if you become low in blood sugar.

If you are a kid tell the bus driver, your friends and your teachers that you have diabetes and what to do if you look low.

Make out a personalised sheet and give it to anyone who may be in a position to rescue you out of a hypo. Put a copy in the survival pack.


For example:
I am Jenny Smith. I have insulin dependent diabetes. When I have low blood sugars I show these symptoms:
1. I am usually irritable.
2. I go pale.
3. I start to sweat.
In this event, do this:
1. Give me some lucozade. It is in my backpack. Look for some glucose tablets in my pocket and give me those.
2. Give me a drink of milk or sugary water or fruit juice.
These symptoms happen when my brain is not getting enough sugar. I cannot think and act appropriately for myself and may be bad tempered. If I don’t get sugar I could pass out.

In case of difficulty please call:
1. Parents… Joe and Carol Smith 1234 456789
2. Friend…Mary Swanson 2468 101213
3. Doctor…Dr Margaret Reilly 3579 111315
If you don’t know what to do, or my medical condition does not improve or I pass out please call 999 or 911.

Thankyou.
 

hanadr

Expert
Messages
8,157
Dislikes
soaps on telly and people talking about the characters as if they were real.
Are you a member of a union? htis is just the kind of thing that unions manage very well. Unfortunately it's humsn nature to gssip. People are curious and also concerned that you might be getting privileges that they are not. Keep a written record of EVERY meeting and each corespondence, this could all turn really nasty.
 

jakeatyork

Member
Messages
22
i totally agree with Handr this could turn very un-pleasant and suggest you visit the website , Equality and human rights commision. you can determine whether what you are experiancing is in contravention of your rights and you can access help from them should you need it .

regards jake
 

SilverAndEbony

Well-Known Member
Messages
139
It's all got way out of hand. To much talk and people justifying how they feel and saying they've heard been told someone else said.
You need to get to the situation where you can all sit down and have discuss the issues with an independent person with good man management skills in charge of the meeting. Kind-of like mediation in trade disputes.

You really don't have to justify yourself. There are only two facts:
1. You were recently diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.
2. You were signed off by your doctor.

As you say diabetes affects different people in different ways. That's both physiologically and psychologically. So what happened to anyone else is irrelevant to you. Or vice versa.

I'd suggest you ask for a meeting with your manager explaining that you can see why she was concerned you were getting paranoid. Also say that as you don't want to become paranoid or her to worry that you're becoming paranoid could you discuss where to go from there?
Basically show that you know there's a problem and that you want to sort it out. Don't use emotional works like 'adult' or 'mature' manner. It's obviously got to the point where anything you say may make things worse so be 'adult'!
Don't be confrontational - yup, easier said than done :-( Let other people behave like schoolgirls, but don't get drawn further into it yourself. Think of the character in Little Britain who says 'yea, but no, but yea, but she ...'

It's so difficult! My schoolgirl experience taught me that keeping calm and letting the other people get worked up while you stay calm and unemotional helps you get your point across better and people to lean more to your point of view than theirs! It's good for career progression too!

I'd steer clear of letters and emails as once it's written down it becomes 'official' and can be used against you as well as for you. Write a brief note to say you'd like to arrange a meeting with someone, but don't go into lots of details unless they ask you for it.

You basically need to get to the point you can all draw a line under it, and move on from there. Make sure you're the one leading that process. :)

I hope it gets sorted out soon,

Take care and make sure you let us know how it's going,

E
 

LadyJ

Active Member
Messages
42
I agree with SilverandEbony

Don't let this become a bigger issue than it has to be. Have a calm, rational and informal talk with your manager. Although it is great you are being advised by the union, I would hesitate in involving them right now in any official way.

So many employees these days go straight for the legal route that unfortuantely, it makes them look like they are after just one thing: money.

If what you actually want is an apology, for things to go back to "normal" and an assurance that no more gossiping will take place, then handle it yourself.
 

SilverAndEbony

Well-Known Member
Messages
139
One of my annoying words of caution.....

I read another no-diabetes related forum.
One of the posters on the forum told us of the problems they had had relating to their health and employment. The case got to an employment tribunal and their posts, and the replies, were used as evidence against them.

You have been very careful to not put any names or the name of your employer in you post - which obviously shows you have buckets of common sense!

I just wanted to make everyone else aware of the potential implications of our posts on public forums, like this one. To nearly paraphrase the police caution, it's public property and could be used against you in a court of law. :cry: