Two years down the line... feeling low

[Seagal75]

Hi everyone,

I posted when I was first diagnosed just over 2 years ago. Since then I have reduced hba1c from 83 to 46, but more recently in the Spring of this year it had gone back up to 56. Dr wanted to put me on metformin, but I resisted once more and said I would try really hard again. I have coped without metformin and originally lost about 2.5 stone in weight, but have put nearly a stone back on - so my BMI is 25 (just in the overweight range). I've 47 years old and have been mostly veggie since 20s (little bit of fish every now and then). This led me to bulk a lot of my meals with carbs - bread, pasta, rice etc. I've coped ok on LCHF and was originally really strict, but have since strayed from path and return every now and then to everyday eating - it's especially hard at social and family gatherings and holidays when you don't want to be the odd one out and want to enjoy what everyone else is having. This happens a lot so there's always disruption from the LCHF.

I feel very isolated in all of this. I've told a few close family members but have kept it secret from some others and from work for fear of judgement and continual questions/advice. Although I lurk on this forum, visit every resource under the sun - DietDoctor, Mosley, Taylor etc, I guess I try to stick the diabetes diagnosis in a background compartment in my life. Every time I think about it I get depressed and fear the worst for the future and an early death!

It just seems a rollercoaster and one that I just can't get my head round. I just want to get to a point where I have an official reversal / remission and get taken off my GP's concerns. I've had my eyes tested and all fine. Again, found that really stressful as I don't want to be seen by anyone I know getting those checks. Everyone else at the clinic were much older ages. I do have a concern that I have some mild neuropathy and get tingling sensations in feet and fingers sometimes after food, even low carb. I was supposed to go and have another hba1c in July, but have put off having it as scared it will be bad news. I had too many holidays and normal eating when I should have been more disciplined. I think the whole stigma of type 2 is making me more sick from the stress of it and mentally depressed than the condition itself. I know that although I had family members that had it they were much older than me, so I feel it has been my fault for getting it at such an early age.

If anyone can provide some further advice and what really worked for them I would find that really helpful. I'm considering going on the Mosley 800 calorie diet with support as although I try to do this myself (husband very supportive) I feel I need help to stick to the straight and narrow.
I use a blood glucose monitor (again some months strictly, some not - esp. around holidays etc). I capture readings and have had some good recent ones (5.7 morning fasting, some that go up to 7s in the morning, 6s mid-afternoon post lunch). Post meals I'm below 8, but when I've strayed from the path these have gone up to 12/13.

Sorry for the long rant. I guess I've bottled it up so much up that I need to let it out. Any advice welcome x

 

[Rachox]

Hi Seagal, I was diagnosed just before you were so I’m at a similar point as you. I have remained strict throughout the two years and remain in control. I’m not saying that to boast but by keeping records, I am able to remain disciplined. Please don’t feel guilty you have bought this on yourself, there are many people who eat a high carb diet and don’t get Type 2, so you weren’t to know you were susceptible. I have told anyone and everyone of my diagnosis which helps a huge amount, a lot even say oh you can get that reversed can’t you and show an interest in my achievements to date, no one has ever been judgemental. When I go to work, my colleagues know not to offer me cakes and biscuits, when I eat out with friends or family they acknowledge I’m not the customer from hell asking the waiter for substitutes from the menu, they all know I’m doing it to keep healthy. I still record all my food and blood sugar readings, which I check 3-5 times per day. I know that if I miss a reading or cheat I am only kidding myself.
I would suggest you get your HbA1c done so you know where you are and start afresh. You have taken the first step by coming back here. You have got your levels down with diet alone before, so even if your GP suggests meds now you still don’t have to go on them. Let us know how you get on.

Edit for typo

 

[mariavontrapp]

Hi Seagal - I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. Managing diabetes is indeed a roller-coaster and staying on track is HARD. It's easy to feel isolated if we don't know someone else in the same boat and if we don't get much support from healthcare workers. Sometimes we start to slip up, and other times we feel that we are really putting our all into it only to find that our results are not as low as we hoped.
I have had to resign myself to the fact that I'm never going to be one of those people who gets wonderful results and goes below 40 on the HbA1C. I just feel that I've done everything I can and mid 40s will have to do for me!
What I think are the important things are -
1. get all the checkups and tests on offer - why feel ashamed? Most people will be too caught up with their own stuff to wonder why you are getting a check-up. Don't stick your head in the sand.
2. keep on top of your own testing with your meter, even if it's only one day a week, and record your results
3. Log in to the forum at least once a week to keep you motivated and on track. Read success stories, watch recommended YouTube clips, read books, whatever you need to stop you from drifting.
4. Accept that we can't all get the perfect results - we have other medical conditions, genetic influences, life stresses and so on. We are not robots.
It's time to stop blaming yourself, in fact think yourself lucky that you found out in your 40s as there are plenty of people in that age group who also have diabetes but they don't know it yet!
Every time I slip up - holidays, birthdays, stress - I get myself back on track as soon as I can
We just have to keep trying and doing our best Seagal xx

 

[ianf0ster]

Hi everyone,

……... I've 47 years old and have been mostly veggie since 20s (little bit of fish every now and then). This led me to bulk a lot of my meals with carbs - bread, pasta, rice etc. I've coped ok on LCHF and was originally really strict, but have since strayed from path and return every now and then to everyday eating - it's especially hard at social and family gatherings and holidays when you don't want to be the odd one out and want to enjoy what everyone else is having. This happens a lot so there's always disruption from the LCHF.

….... I've told a few close family members but have kept it secret from some others and from work for fear of judgement and continual questions/advice. Although I lurk on this forum, visit every resource under the sun - DietDoctor, Mosley, Taylor etc, I guess I try to stick the diabetes diagnosis in a background compartment in my life. Every time I think about it I get depressed and fear the worst for the future and an early death!

It just seems a rollercoaster and one that I just can't get my head round. I just want to get to a point where I have an official reversal / remission and get taken off my GP's concerns. …... I was supposed to go and have another hba1c in July, but have put off having it as scared it will be bad news. I had too many holidays and normal eating when I should have been more disciplined. I think the whole stigma of type 2 is making me more sick from the stress of it and mentally depressed than the condition itself. I know that although I had family members that had it they were much older than me, so I feel it has been my fault for getting it at such an early age.

If anyone can provide some further advice and what really worked for them I would find that really helpful. I'm considering going on the Mosley 800 calorie diet with support as although I try to do this myself (husband very supportive) I feel I need help to stick to the straight and narrow.
I use a blood glucose monitor (again some months strictly, some not - esp. around holidays etc). I capture readings and have had some good recent ones (5.7 morning fasting, some that go up to 7s in the morning, 6s mid-afternoon post lunch). Post meals I'm below 8, but when I've strayed from the path these have gone up to 12/13.

Sorry for the long rant. I guess I've bottled it up so much up that I need to let it out. Any advice welcome x

Hi, Firstly having T2D IS NOT YOUR FAULT! - The UK government Livewell plate and 5 a Day campaign is practically guaranteed to make give T2D to as many people as possible!

Secondly, you have what it takes to get it in remission /reversed (though it means a lifetime of vigilance) - but I can't imagine how that would be possible without support from at least some family/friends/work colleagues. - So tell them- and show them the successes in these forums!

Thirdly, it is very hard to eat LCHF from just vegetables! - Don't you like to eat any of the following: fish, eggs, full fat cheese, cream, full fat plain greek-style yogurt, butter, (tree) nuts, avocado, olives ?
The veggies that people eat often contain too much carb - thinking not just root veg, but those eaten for protein such as lentils, beans etc.

Lastly, being too strict e.g. severe calorie restriction just leads to an inevitable failure when the dieter finally runs out of willpower as everybody would!
I advise doing a serious LCHF - but by serious I mean do it like you will be doing it for the rest of your long healthy life! Take it slowly, count carbs - not calories. I lost around 1lb per week and controlled my BG with no extra exercise and no calorie restriction, probably eating so much cheese and nuts that it was higher calories at first. That is a sustainable lifestyle !
Best wishes,
Ian

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Hi everyone,

I posted when I was first diagnosed just over 2 years ago. Since then I have reduced hba1c from 83 to 46, but more recently in the Spring of this year it had gone back up to 56. Dr wanted to put me on metformin, but I resisted once more and said I would try really hard again. I have coped without metformin and originally lost about 2.5 stone in weight, but have put nearly a stone back on - so my BMI is 25 (just in the overweight range). I've 47 years old and have been mostly veggie since 20s (little bit of fish every now and then). This led me to bulk a lot of my meals with carbs - bread, pasta, rice etc. I've coped ok on LCHF and was originally really strict, but have since strayed from path and return every now and then to everyday eating - it's especially hard at social and family gatherings and holidays when you don't want to be the odd one out and want to enjoy what everyone else is having. This happens a lot so there's always disruption from the LCHF.

I feel very isolated in all of this. I've told a few close family members but have kept it secret from some others and from work for fear of judgement and continual questions/advice. Although I lurk on this forum, visit every resource under the sun - DietDoctor, Mosley, Taylor etc, I guess I try to stick the diabetes diagnosis in a background compartment in my life. Every time I think about it I get depressed and fear the worst for the future and an early death!

It just seems a rollercoaster and one that I just can't get my head round. I just want to get to a point where I have an official reversal / remission and get taken off my GP's concerns. I've had my eyes tested and all fine. Again, found that really stressful as I don't want to be seen by anyone I know getting those checks. Everyone else at the clinic were much older ages. I do have a concern that I have some mild neuropathy and get tingling sensations in feet and fingers sometimes after food, even low carb. I was supposed to go and have another hba1c in July, but have put off having it as scared it will be bad news. I had too many holidays and normal eating when I should have been more disciplined. I think the whole stigma of type 2 is making me more sick from the stress of it and mentally depressed than the condition itself. I know that although I had family members that had it they were much older than me, so I feel it has been my fault for getting it at such an early age.

If anyone can provide some further advice and what really worked for them I would find that really helpful. I'm considering going on the Mosley 800 calorie diet with support as although I try to do this myself (husband very supportive) I feel I need help to stick to the straight and narrow.
I use a blood glucose monitor (again some months strictly, some not - esp. around holidays etc). I capture readings and have had some good recent ones (5.7 morning fasting, some that go up to 7s in the morning, 6s mid-afternoon post lunch). Post meals I'm below 8, but when I've strayed from the path these have gone up to 12/13.

Sorry for the long rant. I guess I've bottled it up so much up that I need to let it out. Any advice welcome x

Normally, I'd say, get your diet in order first.

Now, however, I'd say, get your head in order. As in, let go of the anxiety, the stress, as those'll affect your bloodsugars and your quality of life... I know that's hard, but you DID NOT give yourself diabetes. You're genetically predisposed to get it, and unless you had a crystal ball that could've told you that you had those particular genes and how to avoid becoming a T2.... You can dole out blame, sure, but not to yourself. Like the UK, the Dutch have had a version of the eatwell plate.... And it is, for people like us, basically poison. Too many starches, sugars, fruits... I don't know about you, but I was taught how to eat in school when I was 10 or something. And as an adult, an obese one, the hospital's dietician stuffed the same eatwell plate down my throat again. She wanted me to eat 6 additional slices of brown bread a day, as she said I was in starvation mode. Not long after that I was morbidly obese and a T2 diabetic. Do you think I should blame myself, when I dutifully did everything I was told? This isn't on you, and anyone who says different can sod off. Tell them it's genetic if you have to, because it is the god honest truth. Unless, of course, it's steroid or statin induced.... Again, making it NOT your fault!

Let that sink in for a while. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Otherwise there's several thousand people here with us, who should hide in the corner with a bag over our heads. This isn't on us. What IS, however, is how you deal with it now. You know the carbs are a problem. You know cutting them out would help your health immensely. So...

You're running out of excuses. And anyone'll accept "I'm on a diet" when you pass on a treat or something. They don't need your entire medical history if you're not comfortable with that. You have a say in this thing, and really... Is someone else's opinion more important to you than your health? The quality of your life, the length of it? I think your SO would have ideas about that too. You've got their support, now it's you guys against the world.

Take care of yourself eh.
Jo

 

[VashtiB]

Hi,

I feel your pain. I also have not told many people. I have told a few and remarkably (to me at least) didn't get judged but got support. Having said that I haven't told many people.
I really believe we didn't cause this. I have been on many diets and 'healthy eating' plans without success unless I really starved myself and did a lot of exercise. My husband can eat whatever he likes and do no exercise and struggle to keep the weight on. That doesn't make him an inherently better person (although he actually is). The point is that our bodies are all different but the healthy living people want to treat us all the same calories in versus calories out. The LCHF has made me lose weight- 5kg in just under 4 weeks. I haven't been measuring calories and been having cheese and cream and pork crackling. Actually carbs are easier to count as if you stick with food that have no carbs or tiny amounts you don't need to weigh the food or worry about portion control. I can actually feel satisfied- unusual for me if I'm losing weight.

One thing that has helped me is to tell people either I'm on a Keto diet- it is apparently quite popular. That's the one I will be using a lot more once you can actually see I've lost weight. The other thing I just say I have been diagnosed with some food allergies and to be safe I need to cut all carbs for the moment. Again food allergies are a lot more common now. I had to go to a restaurant for a work function and just rang and explained I have a medical condition which requires me to have little to no carbs and they were fantastic- they actually already had a low carb menu- as I said it is apparently more common.

Good luck- hang around on this forum and it will educate and inspire you. Everyone is in this together and we can all help each other.

 

[jjraak]

Hi @Seagal75

great to hear you did so well.

Sorry to hear times are now harder.

Good advice from previous posters.

For me, i never got that worry of what others thought re T2D
i truly believe it is brought on by the foods we get told are good for us,
the reactions of our bodies to those foods
and the fact we are Human and over time just accept we are getting older
so getting fatter, getting less fit IS normal


trust me it's not..

at diagnosis i felt 10 years older, because i was getting old.

then i changed what i ate, followed more and more of the food choices here, and ended up running..(at age 60)
for buses and trains..Joined a Gym, started lifting weights again, and now got the HBA1c back to normal figures.

BUT it did take discipline, as you rightly say.

BUT i was never ashamed to tell others i was T2D..
in fact some of my best time since Dx have been those were others have asked what i do ,
what i eat to keep so healthy.

Rather proud that one or two of the Young uns at work now seem to have swapped out the sugary stuff
for the foods i eat..so my speaking out has been a good thing.

And the more of us that do, the less the problems are hidden for those who will/maybe follow to Tyoe 2
so the better others will be, because WE sadly are the WARNING of impending doom,
but also the precursor to the fact that it CAN be avoided and IF worst come to worst,
put back on it's Butt and possibly placed into remission IF we so desire.

You are not doomed, nor are you unable.

you've just taken a Knock.

take a moment to catch your breathe as recommended by others.
think what you have achieved so far....by YOURSELF.
that alone deserves some respect form YOU, if not from others..

Hold your head up, today IS a new day.
from here on in, YOU get the chance to start again.
and improve your life and health.

And let that shame slide away.

No one cares, in fact i found others very supportive.
no more 'go on. have a cake' you can eat one.

I'm pretty ok in where i am, but respect others may be at different stages.

Only YOU can say what should happen next,
but sometimes we need to take that leap,
to peek behind the curtain to see whats beyond.
and only then can we relax and wonder what scared us, so much all this time..
life is fine...NO.. life is better then that.. life is GOOD.

I'm lucky.
the world is full of people who have greater illnesses then i do.
people who struggle daily with major issues i barely comprehend.

all i have to do, is over come the desire to eat bad foods that are not a good choice for ME
and be strong enough to select better foods that suit my illness..

I know all very simple when it's not YOU.
but is it really anything else but that ?

You decide.

good luck my friend.
safe journey.

 

[Walking Girl]

Eh, I kind of figure even if I did have a hand in “causing it”, the past is past. It’s what I do going forward that matters so much more. It’s not like anyone makes perfect decisions always.

But here’s the thing, I think you somehow have to find a way to wrap your head around this being forever. You say you want to “return every now and then to everyday eating”. Everyday eating has to be one that is best for your health - most definitely including controlling your blood sugar. It’s just not something temporary that you do until you return to normal - it IS what’s normal. I was like that with dieting for so many years - thinking I’ll be good, perfect even, then I’ll return to “normal” after I lose the weight. Until I wrapped my head around truly making a lifestyle change v going on a diet, it never worked.

 

[Flora123]

@Seagal75 I haven’t told anyone about my diagnosis just over a year ago. You don’t need to and don’t feel you should. When/if you are ready, then you will choose your time. People are very judgemental. I hear it. No one would ever think I had DM as I’m slim (I know many are but thinking of the preconceived ideas people have) but I do hear people judging others with a load of inaccurate rubbish! It makes my blood boil.

We live in a time that hundreds of thousands of people round the world are following LCHF or Keto so that makes the questions easier. Get them to watch amazon prime Perfect Human Diet and they might understand.

If you are feeling down make sure you get outside. Breathe deeply, soak up some sun every day, and take your shoes off and connect with the earth. Sounds a bit new age, but it really helps.

Don’t let this get you down. Many of the fab people on here see their DX as a blessing. Xx

 

[sonia2016]

Hi, I sympathise with you and I agree with all the other replies here. I was diagnosed two and a half years ago and what helped me then was a blog named Blood Sugar 101, written by American writer Jenny Ruhl. This is available as a book along with others about low carb diet by the same author. I have read every thing else I can find since but I am so glad that I found Jenny Ruhl's books at the beginning of the 'journey' to normalizing my blood sugars. Best of luck to you.

 

[Route 66]

Hi @Seagal75

great to hear you did so well.

Sorry to hear times are now harder.

Good advice from previous posters.

For me, i never got that worry of what others thought re T2D
i truly believe it is brought on by the foods we get told are good for us,
the reactions of our bodies to those foods
and the fact we are Human and over time just accept we are getting older
so getting fatter, getting less fit IS normal


trust me it's not..

at diagnosis i felt 10 years older, because i was getting old.

then i changed what i ate, followed more and more of the food choices here, and ended up running..(at age 60)
for buses and trains..Joined a Gym, started lifting weights again, and now got the HBA1c back to normal figures.

BUT it did take discipline, as you rightly say.

BUT i was never ashamed to tell others i was T2D..
in fact some of my best time since Dx have been those were others have asked what i do ,
what i eat to keep so healthy.

Rather proud that one or two of the Young uns at work now seem to have swapped out the sugary stuff
for the foods i eat..so my speaking out has been a good thing.

And the more of us that do, the less the problems are hidden for those who will/maybe follow to Tyoe 2
so the better others will be, because WE sadly are the WARNING of impending doom,
but also the precursor to the fact that it CAN be avoided and IF worst come to worst,
put back on it's Butt and possibly placed into remission IF we so desire.

You are not doomed, nor are you unable.

you've just taken a Knock.

take a moment to catch your breathe as recommended by others.
think what you have achieved so far....by YOURSELF.
that alone deserves some respect form YOU, if not from others..

Hold your head up, today IS a new day.
from here on in, YOU get the chance to start again.
and improve your life and health.

And let that shame slide away.

No one cares, in fact i found others very supportive.
no more 'go on. have a cake' you can eat one.

I'm pretty ok in where i am, but respect others may be at different stages.

Only YOU can say what should happen next,
but sometimes we need to take that leap,
to peek behind the curtain to see whats beyond.
and only then can we relax and wonder what scared us, so much all this time..
life is fine...NO.. life is better then that.. life is GOOD.

I'm lucky.
the world is full of people who have greater illnesses then i do.
people who struggle daily with major issues i barely comprehend.

all i have to do, is over come the desire to eat bad foods that are not a good choice for ME
and be strong enough to select better foods that suit my illness..

I know all very simple when it's not YOU.
but is it really anything else but that ?

You decide.

good luck my friend.
safe journey.

Fantastic advice here. Very well put.

 

[Mbaker]

Hi, Firstly having T2D IS NOT YOUR FAULT! - The UK government Livewell plate and 5 a Day campaign is practically guaranteed to make give T2D to as many people as possible!

Secondly, you have what it takes to get it in remission /reversed (though it means a lifetime of vigilance) - but I can't imagine how that would be possible without support from at least some family/friends/work colleagues. - So tell them- and show them the successes in these forums!

Thirdly, it is very hard to eat LCHF from just vegetables! - Don't you like to eat any of the following: fish, eggs, full fat cheese, cream, full fat plain greek-style yogurt, butter, (tree) nuts, avocado, olives ?
The veggies that people eat often contain too much carb - thinking not just root veg, but those eaten for protein such as lentils, beans etc.

Lastly, being too strict e.g. severe calorie restriction just leads to an inevitable failure when the dieter finally runs out of willpower as everybody would!
I advise doing a serious LCHF - but by serious I mean do it like you will be doing it for the rest of your long healthy life! Take it slowly, count carbs - not calories. I lost around 1lb per week and controlled my BG with no extra exercise and no calorie restriction, probably eating so much cheese and nuts that it was higher calories at first. That is a sustainable lifestyle !
Best wishes,
Ian

Great advice.

 

[1spuds]

Nobody should have to feel bad about T2.You cant halfway the diet/lifestyle part as you know,it wont work.Dont let anything pressure you to do otherwise for your needs.You pay the price,not them.You have to look out for you,first,period,end of story.Thats hard for a lot of folks to do.But you must.

Time to scour the net again to find a ton of food you can eat and enjoy.There really is a lot out there for sure.Getting a low carb diet that works for you is really the only issue thats slamming you so hard IMO.You can do that.You can.Just do that one thing,the rest will fall in line.

Sometimes Im snacking when I shouldnt,but at least its low carb,Im not slamming my sugars even when Im failing the weight part,we all want to lose wt,I get it.But Im not perfect,I accept the failures and just try to minimize them.Time to eat a couple celery and go to bed.

All the other issues feed back to that low carb diet.Beat that one issue,the rest of the issues are minor IMO.I truly wish you the best,good luck.

 

[ianf0ster]

I completely feel your pain and understand what you went through. For years I also tried many different things some that worked better and some didn't work as well, changed my diets several times and felt like I was not getting to where I want to be.
My levels kept going up and down throughout the years, eye vision was worsening...

Not long ago I found out about CuraLin on Facebook... there is a support group for type 2 diabetes where most people there take CuraLin. After reading all the comments and recommendations about it... I couldn't stop myself from ordering and try it myself to if it's even real... Today, after taking CuraLin for several months I am seriously amazed.
First of all, the fact that it is 100% natural made from many ingredients that are known to help lower glucose levels like turmeric, bitter melon and more made me a bit less scared about taking it. My levels since then have been amazing! I went down to 90-120 when I used to be in the 200s.. not only my levels but also my eyesight got better and I feel like I have more energy to exercise.
Along the way, I am also keeping a strict diet and together with CuraLin and I am just never going back.
I have seen some skeptical comments about the product in the forum but I honestly suggest to try for yourself.. You can read all about it here- https://curalife.co/

Other than that keep your head high and continue working towards a healthier life with a healthy diet and exercise! You will get there I promise!

I can't help feeling that an appropriate LCHF diet alone would have done the same for you - since it does that for almost everyone who really tries it.

 

[jjraak]

I can't help feeling that an appropriate LCHF diet alone would have done the same for you - since it does that for almost everyone who really tries it.

Good advice there, @Ya Sham

It only takes a few weeks to see changes, might save you a pretty packet, that you could then spend
on nice wholesome food..or a night out..

 

[manion]

Hi

I am/was pre diabetic which came as a shock to me as i was active and not massively overweight but i ate poorly, as my mother died of diabetes when i was only 8 (un diagnosed) i guess i have a predisposition to it.


The way i look at it is that “it is what it is”, i can’t change where i am only change the outcome and that’s what i do, low carb diet all week, relax slightly (no cakes or biscuits, desserts, bad snack, pasta or pizza still) but will have a burger and chips maybe if out for lunch so a slight relaxation at weekends.


I exercise 4 times per week in the gym (not for everyone but a good 30-60 brisk walk is as good) walk the dogs at weekend, i have lost a stone which is good and although when it comes to the Hba1C test i am on tenterhooks the last test came back at 40 so i was delighted.


I too go on plenty of holidays and it is tough, last couple i slipped but gave myself a shake and am back on it, we are human and will waiver now and then but as long as we nip it in the bud and get back on track. I am open with my friends and family, if they don’t like what they hear its tough luck... i am what i am.


So my advice is for what it is worth, accept what’s happening, keep your goals and targets in plain view and walk that path, if you waiver get back on as soon as you can but stick to the path more than not. Try and not feel guilty or bad as stress and depression can affect your condition, acceptance and a plan is what you need. You have a meter and so know what food spike you, avoid them, don’t miss your Hba1c test as its better to know than not, you can’t manage what you don’t measure is in my book.


So chin up and drive on you have done superb in the past and can lock that in to the future just don’t worry about it manage it, that just me and not maybe for everyone as we are all different.

Hi everyone,

I posted when I was first diagnosed just over 2 years ago. Since then I have reduced hba1c from 83 to 46, but more recently in the Spring of this year it had gone back up to 56. Dr wanted to put me on metformin, but I resisted once more and said I would try really hard again. I have coped without metformin and originally lost about 2.5 stone in weight, but have put nearly a stone back on - so my BMI is 25 (just in the overweight range). I've 47 years old and have been mostly veggie since 20s (little bit of fish every now and then). This led me to bulk a lot of my meals with carbs - bread, pasta, rice etc. I've coped ok on LCHF and was originally really strict, but have since strayed from path and return every now and then to everyday eating - it's especially hard at social and family gatherings and holidays when you don't want to be the odd one out and want to enjoy what everyone else is having. This happens a lot so there's always disruption from the LCHF.

I feel very isolated in all of this. I've told a few close family members but have kept it secret from some others and from work for fear of judgement and continual questions/advice. Although I lurk on this forum, visit every resource under the sun - DietDoctor, Mosley, Taylor etc, I guess I try to stick the diabetes diagnosis in a background compartment in my life. Every time I think about it I get depressed and fear the worst for the future and an early death!

It just seems a rollercoaster and one that I just can't get my head round. I just want to get to a point where I have an official reversal / remission and get taken off my GP's concerns. I've had my eyes tested and all fine. Again, found that really stressful as I don't want to be seen by anyone I know getting those checks. Everyone else at the clinic were much older ages. I do have a concern that I have some mild neuropathy and get tingling sensations in feet and fingers sometimes after food, even low carb. I was supposed to go and have another hba1c in July, but have put off having it as scared it will be bad news. I had too many holidays and normal eating when I should have been more disciplined. I think the whole stigma of type 2 is making me more sick from the stress of it and mentally depressed than the condition itself. I know that although I had family members that had it they were much older than me, so I feel it has been my fault for getting it at such an early age.

If anyone can provide some further advice and what really worked for them I would find that really helpful. I'm considering going on the Mosley 800 calorie diet with support as although I try to do this myself (husband very supportive) I feel I need help to stick to the straight and narrow.
I use a blood glucose monitor (again some months strictly, some not - esp. around holidays etc). I capture readings and have had some good recent ones (5.7 morning fasting, some that go up to 7s in the morning, 6s mid-afternoon post lunch). Post meals I'm below 8, but when I've strayed from the path these have gone up to 12/13.

Sorry for the long rant. I guess I've bottled it up so much up that I need to let it out. Any advice welcome x