7 year old with type 1

Mrtea21

Newbie
Messages
1
Hello all

I'm new here, I have my son on alternating weekends who is type 1 and has been since he was 3. He is now 7 and though I scrape by today has totally floored me.

I picked him up from school and he said "dad I dont want diabetes anymore"

I tried to talk to him about it but inside my heart sank.

Have any of you dealt with this being a parent? What did you do and how did you handle it. Is it something I need to speak to his clinic about? Any suggestions or help is appreciated as I'm alone dealing with this and I suppose it's just a cry for help from others in the same situation.

Thanks alot for reading, Rich.
 

Jollymon

Well-Known Member
Messages
431
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
Not having good chocolate, and not cycling
I remember when I was a kid and went through the same thing. I didn’t like diabetes either. I didn’t choose it- it chose me.

You’ve just got to let him know he’s not alone. There are others just like him. With the same feelings that he has. I’m a t1 too.
 
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Diakat

Expert
Retired Moderator
Messages
5,591
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
The smell of cigars
Does he know any other kids with diabetes? Perhaps taking him to a Diabetes.org.uk family day would help.

Otherwise no one wants it but it teaches us all to be “sugar superheroes” where we fight highs and lows to keep going.

Tagging @porl69 and @Jaylee who are long term T1s who were mere lads when diagnosed.
 

Juicyj

Expert
Retired Moderator
Messages
9,018
Type of diabetes
Type 1
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Pump
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Hypos, rude people, ignorance and grey days.
Have a look at the JDRF website there’s meet ups for t1 kids in your area - it will help if he had a buddy he can talk to about it.

Remember it is phases that he’ll go through, they do pass, just do what your already doing which is being supportive, it sounds like your doing incredibly well.
 

JMK1954

Well-Known Member
Messages
520
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I was diagnosed just after my tenth birthday. It strikes me that something must have happened to make him suddenly come out with this remark. Perhaps he has had an argument with a friend, who turned nasty or somebody has talked about a birthday cake and repeated an adult's words saying that of course your son wouldn't be able to have any. Tell him that nobody likes diabetes and we all get fed up about it at times, but you are proud of him and the way he has got on with things. There's nothing wrong with admitting the truth. If anything else in your life goes wrong, that's when dealing with type 1 becomes a heavier burden. If you can find out if anything else has been upsetting him, you might be able to offer him some advice or 'fix' that particular problem for him. None of us can 'fix' diabetes, but we can still feel love and benefit from help others offer. He needs to know that you are always on his side, whatever is happening.
 

Rokaab

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,159
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
I was diagnosed just after my tenth birthday. It strikes me that something must have happened to make him suddenly come out with this remark.
To be honest for myself it did not take someone else saying something for me to make such remarks, I was diagnosed when I was 2, and a number of times I'm pretty sure I also made such comments (and probably cried as well), cos lest face it, why did I have to have injections, why did I have to do blood tests, why couldn't I have sweets, why did I get fruit for halloween when everyone else got sweets, why was I the only one! - it just felt so unfair.
 

Jollymon

Well-Known Member
Messages
431
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
Not having good chocolate, and not cycling
I typically do not like posting links, but here’s one that I think this parent needs. It’s to the children with diabetes website. It’s largely for parents who have children with diabetes. They might find some resources there, and maybe get lucky enough to find people near them to show the poor kid isn’t alone. So again, sorry for the link, but I think it’s relevant.

https://childrenwithdiabetes.com/

CWD also does a big gathering every year. Some make it a ritual to attend. It’s called Friends For Life. If you’re near it, and can attend it, it can be very educational. And motivating. And fun. It just comes down to if it’s reasonable to attend. (For me it’s not). It’s something to look into.
 
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Jaylee

Oracle
Retired Moderator
Messages
18,214
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hello all

I'm new here, I have my son on alternating weekends who is type 1 and has been since he was 3. He is now 7 and though I scrape by today has totally floored me.

I picked him up from school and he said "dad I dont want diabetes anymore"

I tried to talk to him about it but inside my heart sank.

Have any of you dealt with this being a parent? What did you do and how did you handle it. Is it something I need to speak to his clinic about? Any suggestions or help is appreciated as I'm alone dealing with this and I suppose it's just a cry for help from others in the same situation.

Thanks alot for reading, Rich.

Hi Rich,

Welcome to the forum.

I was diagnosed as a kid. & to be quite frank I picked up on the change in family dynamics especially with my mum. I knew back then it was nobody's fault least of all the woman that brought me into this world.

Years later (at around the age of 20.) my mum mentioned she felt bad I had to put up with this stuff.
My reply to her was simple & reasuring.. (Through the profanity filter will edit it out. So I'll paraphrase...) "Sheds happen.."

Your son is his own man & has probably been doing a bit of thinking.. I personally don't think there is any one talourmade answer to this. Sometime it can leave you thinking you may as well stolen a car.

Lol, there maybe be a time in his teens when he doesn't come home due to some girl or another?
You may feel he's upside down in a ditch. You may start to want to mount a "search party?" My dad did that.. I rocked up in the early hours just as my dad was getting his car out. (No mobiles back then.)
It was nice to know my dad cared enough. He was also pleased to know I'd decided this particular girl wasn't a "keeper." ;)

All you can do is take the time to listen. & if you can find some sort of D club that he may want to partake in.?

Don't let your heart sink buddy, you're doing what you can.
You posted here didn't you? :)

Feel free to share your thoughts.
 
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Shannon27

Well-Known Member
Messages
290
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hello all

I'm new here, I have my son on alternating weekends who is type 1 and has been since he was 3. He is now 7 and though I scrape by today has totally floored me.

I picked him up from school and he said "dad I dont want diabetes anymore"

I tried to talk to him about it but inside my heart sank.

Have any of you dealt with this being a parent? What did you do and how did you handle it. Is it something I need to speak to his clinic about? Any suggestions or help is appreciated as I'm alone dealing with this and I suppose it's just a cry for help from others in the same situation.

Thanks alot for reading, Rich.
I can so relate to this, as i was diagnosed at 4 and i was asking my dad roughly the same thing at the same age. But that's the thing - being diagnosed at that age, does he remember what not being diabetic is like, or is he looking at his friends at school and comparing himself to them?

School is a big part of a childs life at that age - a huge part. How is he feeling at school and is he being supported with his diabetes? At my school, there were teachers who used to help me with my injections and every teacher knew that if i went to them saying i didn't feel well, they had to take me inside to test my blood and give my sugary drinks if i needed them. A few times i got left on the sidelines in things like PE lessons and i was hurt and confused. Why can't i take part etc etc. After i went home and told my dad about it he quickly put a stop to it, be he had to do it a few times for every year and new class teacher that passed.

Ask him why he feels like he needs to be any different than who he is, and make sure he knows that being diabetic doesn't mean he IS different to anyone else. He can be just like his friends. But he is extra special, because no one realises he has to work for it that little bit harder.

Don't let it get you down, work with it, be positive about it and that will rub off on him. Does he have sweet things at all? Tesco sell sugar free jelly (sometimes in sachets you can make up yourselves which is fun!), no added sugar nutella and some places have sugar free ice cream. All children like sweet things, hopefully it might perk him up a bit :)

Sorry for the essay! Hope you're both feeling better soon :)
 

porl69

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,647
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Stupid people
Hi @Mrtea21. Diagnosed at 4 1/2 years old, 49 years ago. Didnt know what was happening whemn I was so you apart from having to do injections! Teens were a nightmare....I was given the nickname "Junky Paul", that wasnt too bad actually! But hated/resented being a type 1. Was the case of "why me" a lot of the time. Luckily my parents were amazing with all my ups and downs and burnout! T1D has never stopped me doing anything, it just takes a little more planning to do things
 
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deszcznocity

Active Member
Messages
44
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I would recommend buying Dr Bernsteins diabetes solution book and reading it carefully. Also there is type 1 grit on fb you might want to follow as well as let me be 83 rivere foundation.
 

KK123

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,967
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi there @Mrtea21, you say you have your little lad every other weekend? I don't know your circumstances but have you discussed it with his main carer (Mum?). Whatever you decide, it's probably best if you are doing it together so as not to confuse anything. Do you know if there are any strategies/arrangements in place or whether he has mentioned it to anyone else who looks after him? Sorry to be personal but it is likely to be very hard to maintain anything you put in place if others are not on board with it. x
 

Jaylee

Oracle
Retired Moderator
Messages
18,214
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I would recommend buying Dr Bernsteins diabetes solution book and reading it carefully. Also there is type 1 grit on fb you might want to follow as well as let me be 83 rivere foundation.

Hi @deszcznocity ,

Welcome to the forum.

Are you T1 yourself?

Why not start your own topic as introduction, telling us a little about your story? :)
 

CathP

Well-Known Member
Messages
194
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi, I’m so sorry your son is struggling.

My daughter is 9, dx at 4, and went through a phase last year of massively resenting diabetes and saying on numerous occasions ‘what’s the point of life’ and so on. It was heart breaking. For her, the issues were feeling restricted in what and when she could eat, diabetes taking too much of her time (us fiddling with her pump, calling her from playing for corrections etc) and us talking about diabetes a lot. We’ve worked really hard at giving her more freedom and relieving the burden of diabetes from the family as a whole. We built diy closed loop this time last year, and it’s given her dietary freedom, freedom to play out away from us, and no more fiddling about with her pump all the time...all controlled from her phone. The plus is as she’s so much happier she’s now actually engaged and wanting to manage a lot of the care herself.

Talk to him and find out what about diabetes is upsetting him the most. We obviously can’t take it from them, but there might be little things you can do to make it easier.

good luck.
 

therower

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,922
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
@Mrtea21 . Welcome to the forum.
So sorry to hear your sons struggles with his diabetes.
Could you look to find a “ famous “ role model for him to relate too?
Footballers....Gary Mabbutt, Scott Allan.
Rugby.....Henry Slade, Chris Pennell.
American Football.....Jay Cutler.
Just a few suggestions. There are T1’s in all walks of life. T1 can be a lonely place at times.
 
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Ray B

Active Member
Messages
41
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hello all

I'm new here, I have my son on alternating weekends who is type 1 and has been since he was 3. He is now 7 and though I scrape by today has totally floored me.

I picked him up from school and he said "dad I dont want diabetes anymore"

I tried to talk to him about it but inside my heart sank.

Have any of you dealt with this being a parent? What did you do and how did you handle it. Is it something I need to speak to his clinic about? Any suggestions or help is appreciated as I'm alone dealing with this and I suppose it's just a cry for help from others in the same situation.

Thanks alot for reading, Rich.

Hello there,
I was diagnosed at 8 months old and am now 74. I still remember running away from the District Nurse at injection time when I was a toddler. However, as a boy I fell in love with playing football and as a boy I was discouraged from playing because of my diabetes. This made me become very competitive over the years and I have been involved in sports all my life.
Is your son a boy who enjoys sport as I believe this has helped me through my life.
Does he have a sporting hero, who he might want to emulate. It can be a lonely place, as someone has said, not only being a child with diabetes, but as you are experiencing a parent.
I would try to stay and positive as you can and allow your son to believe there is nothing in life which he can’t achieve. As I say I have had Type 1 74 years and still teach pilates as a little business.
Hope this helps
Ray Burrows .