Frustrated rant....need it out of my head...

[Lizzie84]

Be warned this is an angry rant! It needs to get lost somewhere....

I hate it when my husband who has no health problems tells me how to manage my condition and what’s worse chastises me for it when it goes wrong. He talks like he's knows anything about it. Far from it. It’s just ***** that he spouts. “You should of got it done”. Well I did get “it” done. “Your too relaxed about it” I went through counselling to relax ******* because I was getting so worked up about it, I was slipping into depression about it!
He’s got no clue about how hard it is every day having to be alive!
So I forgot my blood meter once. ONCE! I managed it by not eating (not hungry anyway) and when I got home took a reading and it was 5.6. Do you know why. Because I’ve been diabetic for 27 years *******!! I know what the **** I’m doing. You don’t even have a proper **** job!
Yes of course I know it wasn’t ideal but I did the **** best I could with my situation so take your judgemental **** and shove it down your own throat!
So angry and upset from him pushing my buttons. And me letting him do it. I know how this conversation could have gone down. But I got so angry and hurt I couldn’t defend myself. So why am I really angry....I’ve never accepted diabetes. Don’t even know what that means. Accept it. Make peace with it. I **** hate it. I hate living with it. That’s what he reminded me of. Maybe that’s why I got so angry. He was judgemental and making me feel like I wasn’t doing enough!
He would not manage 1 day with this disease.....I feel a little better now.

 

[xfieldok]

Sending you a massive hug through the ether.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

I find that healthy people quite often have all the answers, especially about things they have no clue about. My mum-in-law says I just need to "think positive thoughts!" when we discussed corona. Yeah. Like that helps. Or with a depression and anxiety: "Cheer up! Relax!". Might as well tell me to sprout wings and fly. If I could do those things, don't they think I would? They just. Don't. Know.

As for accepting a condition that tries to kill you every day, I don't think I'd be able to accept it either. My T2's management is a breeze, compared to what you're dealing with, methinks. That said: I believe you are doing quite enough. You're alive. So whatever you're doing, it's working, so you do know your s***. Whatever your other half thinks.
Hugs,
Jo

 

[KK123]

Aw Lizzie, I feel for you! Has your partner always been what you might call a 'know it all'?, if it wasn't your diabetes would it be something else, ie, the way you dress or speak for example? Outside of his diabetes 'interference' is he a nice enough bloke? If that is simply his personality then I guess you have to decide whether you want to continue to put up with it. IF it is specifically the diabetes, then maybe he is worried about you so goes too far with his comments & approach. I'm guessing he is always a pain judging from what you have written and although I know there are always two sides, this is YOUR health condition and you manage it however you like. It could be he knows exactly how to push your buttons and knows that your diabetes is your 'weak spot', if so, that in itself is vile, don't put up with it. xxx

 

[Chook]

@Lizzie84

Big hug coming your way.

I hope it helped having a bit of a rant, maybe at a calm moment you could show it to him to explain how you are feeling. I think all the staying at home because of coronavirus ramps up emotions and also provides more opportunities for criticism than usual whether needed or not.

I gave your post to my husband to read. He looked a bit sheepish after.

 

[jjraak]

@Lizzie84
Good on you for blowing off steam.

Maybe we should have a RANT Thread....

Could do us all the world of good

 

[KK123]

@Lizzie84
Good on you for blowing off steam.

Maybe we should have a RANT Thread....

Could do us all the world of good

Lol. The Moderators would be working overtime!!

 

[Mbaker]

I think EVERYONE should prove they are "healthy and fit". This morning one of the BBC news presenters said this about someone, when I could physically see on eof the markers of metabolic syndrome.

It is very easy to assume both health and fitness, due to age, look or not being diagnosed.....yet. I believe the figures in the states are generally applicable, I.e. only 12% of people are healthy, as for fit this percentage has not been calculated.

 

[Antje77]

I think EVERYONE should prove they are "healthy and fit". This morning one of the BBC news presenters said this about someone, when I could physically see on eof the markers of metabolic syndrome.

It is very easy to assume both health and fitness, due to age, look or not being diagnosed.....yet. I believe the figures in the states are generally applicable, I.e. only 12% of people are healthy, as for fit this percentage has not been calculated.

Sure you meant to post on this thread?

 

[copilost]

He would not manage 1 day with this disease

Not wishing to make excuses for insufferable behaviour but perhaps his anxiety is being pushed onto you? Is it his way of managing his concerns? Badly

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @Lizzie84 ,

Welcome to the forum. What took you so long to post?

Sometimes it's not always the situation we happen to be in, it's the company we share the situation with.

Best wishes,

 

[Geordie_P]

Not wishing to make excuses for insufferable behaviour but perhaps his anxiety is being pushed onto you? Is it his way of managing his concerns? Badly

Agree with this: I know someone just like this, lol. It's galling, but if this sort of unreasonable behaviour is acting out based on anxiety, then at least it's not hateful or controlling per se. There's a lot of anxiety about and cabin fever lately, so hopefully this is just nerves...

 

[Mbaker]

Sure you meant to post on this thread?

Yes, the not so sympathetic husband is assumed to have no health issues, so feels it is ok to pass judgement; if he were to take a battery of tests similar to the ones I do at Medichecks he might be surprised. Not wishing bad will on him, but if the American stats are transferrable, he may not be speaking from a position of strength.