Losing my confidence

[Ian in Cheltenham]

Posted here because I am a relative newbie - diagnosis + 3 weeks

I thought I was getting better after the initial diagnosis which knocked me for six. However, the more I find out about diabetes the worse I feel! I realised that the risk of CHD and various cardiovascular problems were much increased but I find out today I now have and increased risk of a number of cancers including a 2 - 3 fold higher risk of liver cancer.

I'm now worrying about every ache and pain and wondering what damage has already been done! I hope this will pass and I can get on with my life. At the moment diabetes has taken over everything and I want it in its rightful place.

I presume if I manage to get my blood sugars down, blood pressure down, lose weight and exercise I will run far less of a risk of reaching my expiry date early! I wish I'd known about this 12 months ago!

Ian

 

[Ian in Cheltenham]

PS I forgot the increased risk of dementia!

 

[Tracey69]

Hi Ian
Sorry to hear you feel the way you are, but honestly these are just risks that can happen to us all even the one's without diabetes, ok diabetics are a higher risk, but then so do people other serious illness.
Which type of diabetes do you have.
I read that you have only just been diagnosed and are scared, but there really is no fear if you look after yourself properly.
Keep your sugar levels between 4-7mmols any thing below 4 you will have a hypo (low sugar) this will make you feel sweaty, shaky, but glucose or a sugary drink will help.
Hyper (sugar is high) you may feel the same as hypo, so you will need to check your sugar levels regular, The more commom problems are making sure you keep all your appointments and make sure you have your eyes checked regularly.
I have had diabetes type1 since i was 6yrs old, it now 36yrs this year, and the main problem i have had in the last few years are my eyes, but that was also caused by neglect and long term diabetes.
You may contact me by private message, but please don't let the diabetes rule you, you rule it. Watch the amount of carbs you eat, don't drink too much alcohol and if you smoke try and give up.
More important look a round this website and you will find out others have simular problems.
Take care Tracey

 

[Otenba]

Nice reply Tracey69. It really does sound like Ian is very distressed.

I'm not sure what your current health situation is like right now Ian but you have nothing to worry about at this point when it comes to potential problems in relation to diabetes - they will not happen overnight, if they happen at all. A lot of problems are long term and mainly occur if your sugar levels are high over a long period of time, so don't beat yourself up too much if you don't get on track every day, just strive to do the best you can.

Don't get angry at yourself for not knowing sooner either, it won't do any good to stress yourself out about it.

I see that you are a Type 2. This mainly means that you may have to make some lifestyle changes which can be a very hard thing, but just remember that lifestyle changes are best done step by step. I'm glad to read on your profile that you're diet only - this is a good thing!

Tracey69 has given some great examples in her post on what you could look at doing. There are also some great fellow Type 2s that would be more than happy to help you out - be it by giving some advice or just giving you someone to relate to.

Try to keep in mind: you can get through this!
Take care and my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

 

[chocoholicnomore]

Ian, I was interested in reading your post as I too have only just been diagnosed in the last 4 weeks. I think, to a degree, I have been sticking my head in the sand regarding other complications. The DN did tell me on diagnosis that I now have same chance of a heart attack as someone who has already had one! That did shock me at the time but I have been so busy trying to get to grips with whole diet and testing thing that it went to back of my mind.
I expect there will be alot of emotional and pyscholigical things to deal with as well as the practical things. It is such a shock to our lives and our bodies. And I suppose these thoughts will hit us at different times.
Have you registered for the x-pert education course? I start on Tuesday for 6 weeks and I am hoping that it will help alot and put things into perspective. This forum has definitely been a great help and support and it also helps to be able to relate to other people who are going through the same poblems at much the same time.
I take comfort from the thought that, hopefully, it's been caught in time and I just need to work hard from now on to prevent complications.

Hope it helps you to know that you are not alone.
Take care

Marina

 

[Gappy]

The key word is "risk" that means these complications etc are not certainties! My advice, get on with managing the diabetes, you know you have that-other worries can be forgotten about, after all do you know what percentage risk you have? An increase from 0.5% to 1% is a 100% rise but still means that it isn't likely to happen.

 

[Sanober]

Poor Ian

It's all so new for you and so easy to become frightened because of the information on the internet. You're best bet is to keep attached to this forum for perspective, support and good advice

By the way, here's some perspective. I shocked when I was told I was Diabetic (officially March this year) my colleague who sits infront of me at work said he was sorry to hear about my diagnosis and he told me he was so lucky that he'd never been ill.

Literally a month later he was diagnosed with a Melanoma (stage 3) and the operation to remove it and some surrounding lymph nodes left a massive scar in his neck, all done a few weeks before his 30th birthday.

His attitude is it doesn't matter, he's alive, he's loved and at the end of the day he can still get knocked down by a bus!

That made me snap out of it.

Oh and then a few months later I ended up going in for a Cystectomy for Endometriosis which I didn't know I even had! Go figure.

You will get through this, remember it's a manageable condition and you can minimise "the risks". Gappy's perspective on stats is brilliant!

 

[FizzyNix]

Hi Ian and others,

I'm in to week two of being given the great news about having to manage diabetes.
Hang in there Ian.
Let's face it - With all the things that can potentially happen to us (pre-diabetes) it's not so different from what can happen post-diagnosis.
What I'm saying is, what will be will be. Look on the bright side mate. You could get knocked down tomorrow - but at least with diabetes you get some warning and a chance to deal with it - better than "watch that bus!", "What bus?" <SPLAT!> Eh?
As I said, hang in there Ian. You have friends on the forum.

 

[Cheryl]

Hey! I'm diabetic T1, so is my dad. I'm 43 & healthy, I swim, hike, windsurf (badly), waterski & ski. I have a demanding job. I travel; this year Brazil, Ecuador recently too, Turkey every year for watersports. My mum & dad have just got back from a trip to China (aged 76), Egypt was earlier this year, Ecuador in 2009, they spend a couple of months per year travelling Europe in their motor hone. Diabetes isn't the end of your life, it's just an inconvenience.

Chin up

 

[Unbeliever]

I must say I don't take too much notice of the potential risks either. Diagnosis and treatment of diabetes is in constnt flux. Even the goalposts have been moved ie the levels at which diabetes is diagnosed. in other words they are not comparing like with like. It always seems to me that they are taking the complication and working backwards and blaming the diabetes. A chicken and egg situation. how manty people have died undiagnosed.?
I have a complication of diabetes which was caused by the treatment. unusually this was well documented so there is no doubt.
I don't bear any grudges it just reinforces my view that there is an element of chance in it all.
All we can do is try to keep it under control.
I agree with Gappy. Before diagnosis I had supported a close friend with cancer for several years, I used to say to ttell her that before anything happened to her many others who seemed totally healthy might have died suddenly, Some people diagnosed wih terminal illnesses survived for years amazing all the doctors..
I think of diabetes as a condition which can be controlled but may take some time to sort out as we are all individuals. The saddest thing is that mangement of the condition is regimented and not geared to the individual..
Many people say that their diagnosis is the best thing to happen to them as it gives them an opportunity to change their lifestyles and improve their health. I feel the same about my eye condition. serious but it enabled me to get better advice abou my diabetes than I would otherwise have had.
I think it is natural to have an attack of "the horrors" at first". there are far worse things though. The important thing is for you to find out as much as you can about the condition so that you feel you are controlling it and not vice versa.

 

[sandy2011]

I'm now worrying about every ache and pain and wondering what damage has already been done! I hope this will pass and I can get on with my life. At the moment diabetes has taken over everything and I want it in its rightful place.
[snip]
I wish I'd known about this 12 months ago!
Ian

I think exactly like this most of the time these days ..

 

[Otenba]

I'm now worrying about every ache and pain and wondering what damage has already been done! I hope this will pass and I can get on with my life. At the moment diabetes has taken over everything and I want it in its rightful place.
[snip]
I wish I'd known about this 12 months ago!
Ian

I think exactly like this most of the time these days ..

I'm sorry to hear that. Once understanding of the condition improves and you know where you are at least a little bit better, you'll find that your diabetes is something that often is what you make of it, especially if you don't have signs of any complications already.

Never forget that if you have been diagnosed recently as well, I believe you have the stages of grief to go through so try not to worry too much - you won't feel this bad forever.

These are the stages of grief if you're interested (taken from Wikipedia), it may sound familiar but also remember that you do not necessarily experience every stage:

1. Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.

2. Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.

3. Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..."

4. Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.

5. Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event.

Best wishes with getting to Stage 5 - but don't beat yourselves up if you don't get there fast. Give yourselves time to heal and recover. You can get through this.

 

[Carlb]

I am attacking this from the opposite end and refuse to get down about it. The more you think of what could happen will just make it worse, you start to compact the negative feelings and its hard to see the light again. This will just slip you into depression and the deeper you slip the harder it is to recover, trust me.
Four years ago out side a church where we were getting my daughter christened i had a total mental breakdown, it was like hitting a wall at high speed. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety which resulted in deep depression to the point i couldn't even leave my home. To cut a long story short i was just left too it with a bunch of pills for three and a half years, deeper in depression from what was now extreme anxiety.
I could see no light let alone a tunnel until i recently started a course of Cognitive behavioral therapy and it has taught me how to over come all the negativity of problems.
What I'm trying to say is there is a light at the end of the tunnel and if you look harder you will see a glimmer trust me. So for me i am looking at this from the opposite end, it's an even bigger reason to eat more healthy, do more exercise, loose more weight and get out and have more fun with the kids. It doesn't have to be a disability, it can be the perfect excuse to live life more fully.

Never be afraid to tell people how you feel, negative or positive, the worst thing you can do is bottle it all up. Good luck.
Carl

 

[sandy2011]

Thank you Otenba and everyone else.
I am not able to write much now as I am too depressed, confused, and worried, and this would normally shoot my blood pressure up.
"What damage has already been done" and how to eat properly from now on to avoid any more permanent damage are my biggest concerns.

 

[didie]

I'm fairly new at all this as well Ian having been diagnosed in July of this year. For me being diagnosed as a diabetic after my stroke was a relief, because I quickly discovered that I could be pro-active about it. It's up to me whether I choose to bring down my sugar levels and lose weight - not the doctor and I like to be in control of my own destiny as much as possible. It is a challenge, but things could be so much worse. You could have a condition over which you can't exert any control at all. You are in charge of your diabetes. I hate twee words and expressions, but I really do think that you have to 'own your diabetes' and then you can start to control it so that it doesn't 'own you'. Maybe I'm being naive about it, but it is what is working for me.

 

[Carlb]

I really do think that you have to 'own your diabetes' and then you can start to control it so that it doesn't 'own you'. Maybe I'm being naive about it, but it is what is working for me.

That's exactly as i see it.

 

[Ian in Cheltenham]

A big heartfelt thank you to you all for your reponses. It was my first major wobble, but I expect will be one of many. There is a lot for me to take onboard. Taking control seems to be something important and, to some extent, I have already done. - but its early days.

I suppose I have been deceiving myself that I had taken care of myself - though obviously not enough as my weight had risen to 20st. The fact that I now have a chronic disease is taking some getting used to. I'm hopeing that if I can get on top of it the health risks will be minimised. This forum has some pretty inspiring stories and people to support me.

Ian

 

[viviennem]

I am not a health care professional, nor even a scientist, and certainly not a statistician :shock: , but I have a sneaking feeling that all these 'higher risks because you're diabetic' are based on studying past results and have little to do with well-controlled diabetes in the present.

These stats have been gathered over a number of decades, at times when people were diagnosed much later; when the condition wasn't as well understood as it is now (still some way to go!); and when meters/drugs/treatments were nowhere near as advanced as they are now. In fact, the figures have been produced by studying badly-controlled diabetics!

I think it would be more true to say that badly-controlled diabetics are at higher risk of all these complications than the "normal" population; and that if we take control of our diabetes and keep our blood glucose levels under control, we are no more likely to get these conditions than if we didn't have diabetes. I might well get CVD; but it won't be the diabetes' fault, it will just be caused by 60 years of hard living - which I have thoroughly enjoyed :lol:

I would welcome any comments by HCPs, the scientifically-minded and definitely from those who understand statistics :wink: ; meanwhile I'm not going to let it worry me. I've already lived longer than most of my parents' generation, and I have a very good friend, Type 1, who is in her 90s. And she's enjoyed all her years of hard living - and still is! :lol:

Viv 8)

 

[Gappy]

If you get up and do things you'll beat diabetes (ok control it as opposed to beat) I had physical injuries after a serious accident and made up my own motto "you wont get better sat on your a**e". I didn't worry that due to wrist injuries I can't do another press up in my life I did what I can do and am now playing local league level badminton again. It's the same with diabetes stay positive do the things you can do, it's much more fun than whining about what you can't do!

 

[AMBrennan]

the figures have been produced by studying badly-controlled diabetics!

Not necessarily - it's quite possible that they looked at a regression deaths vs HbA1C, or GLM risk vs control. I haven't read the relevant literature so I can't claim that they did this properly, but you can't claim that they didn't.
For example, the recent ACCORD study high risk CVD patients did this very well - they followed two groups of patients (intensive control vs standard) and looked at the risk of CVD incidents (too bad they got the wrong result and had to stop the study early).

Of course, the long term risk is difficult if not impossible to estimate -but keep in mind that diabetes complications are due to high glucose levels damaging blood vessels; current treatment targets are < 7.5% which is much higher than the healthy population. If you are taking insulin the you need to maintain much higher BG to avoid hypos (BG > 6 mmol/l if you are driving, fasting > 5.5 mmol/l according to my DSN when normal fasting is 4-6)
It is not inconceivable that this might lead to an increased risk of complications, including CVD. Then again, theoretical biochemistry tends to work better in a textbook than in practise (cf antioxidants)