Type 1 diabetic

[Buddymatt]

Hi there I have just joined I'm a grieving mother I lost my son last October 2019 he was age 27 he died alone from dka I'm struggling to go on I just want him back why take him from us he was well liked a mad sence of humour he was diagnosed
When he was 18 months old I had just split from his dad when he was diagnosed through life his blood was always up and down they couldn't seem to find the right insulin as time went on and became a teenager he didn't want to be a diabetic he wanted to be like his friends he hit a very low point in his life . He was a chef witch wasn't the best job as unsociable hours his eating was terrible pre packed sandwiches chocolate chips then these energy drinks him and his girlfriend become parents of my beautiful granddaughter Phoebe the love for her is unbearable.
In this time when his partner and him lived together he had a few dka and was admitted to hospital After couple years went by he separated from his partner witch he found tuff but then she stopped him seeing him witch I no would of broke his heart through splitting up about a year ago he has been all over the place he was lost all I did if he popped in I'd have a go at him to sort his self out then I got a phone call from his dad to say he had passed away a mums worst nightmere I just felt I wasn't there for him I don't remember telling him I loved him every dad since I struggle with life I have my granddaughter as much as possible I haven't seen her for 7 weeks because of lockdown and I have had couple very dark places all I do is cry I live alone as my other two are both at uni and are coping there way as best they can I'm scared he was in pain and alone so couldn't get help .......

 

[Antje77]

I'm so sorry for your loss, @Buddymatt , I have no words for it. Have a virtual hug, for what it's worth.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @Buddymatt ,

Welcome to the forum & sorry for your loss.

I empathise it can be difficult to make sense of what's happened.
But your son did leave a gift in a grandchild.

Kind regards,

Jay.

 

[NicoleC1971]

Hi there I have just joined I'm a grieving mother I lost my son last October 2019 he was age 27 he died alone from dka I'm struggling to go on I just want him back why take him from us he was well liked a mad sence of humour he was diagnosed
When he was 18 months old I had just split from his dad when he was diagnosed through life his blood was always up and down they couldn't seem to find the right insulin as time went on and became a teenager he didn't want to be a diabetic he wanted to be like his friends he hit a very low point in his life . He was a chef witch wasn't the best job as unsociable hours his eating was terrible pre packed sandwiches chocolate chips then these energy drinks him and his girlfriend become parents of my beautiful granddaughter Phoebe the love for her is unbearable.
In this time when his partner and him lived together he had a few dka and was admitted to hospital After couple years went by he separated from his partner witch he found tuff but then she stopped him seeing him witch I no would of broke his heart through splitting up about a year ago he has been all over the place he was lost all I did if he popped in I'd have a go at him to sort his self out then I got a phone call from his dad to say he had passed away a mums worst nightmere I just felt I wasn't there for him I don't remember telling him I loved him every dad since I struggle with life I have my granddaughter as much as possible I haven't seen her for 7 weeks because of lockdown and I have had couple very dark places all I do is cry I live alone as my other two are both at uni and are coping there way as best they can I'm scared he was in pain and alone so couldn't get help .......

 

[NicoleC1971]

I can't imagine how horrible your son's death must feel and it is not very long ago. Made me think of what I put my own parents through. In the end they could not help me but I did know they loved me and I made it through the dramas of my teens and 20s. He was unlucky and you are the right that this was wrong and unfair.
So glad to hear you have his daughter to dote upon but perhaps you could try and share your feelings with your other 2 kids not to burden them but to let them know this is something that you can talk about.

 

[Grant_Vicat]

Hi there I have just joined I'm a grieving mother I lost my son last October 2019 he was age 27 he died alone from dka I'm struggling to go on I just want him back why take him from us he was well liked a mad sence of humour he was diagnosed
When he was 18 months old I had just split from his dad when he was diagnosed through life his blood was always up and down they couldn't seem to find the right insulin as time went on and became a teenager he didn't want to be a diabetic he wanted to be like his friends he hit a very low point in his life . He was a chef witch wasn't the best job as unsociable hours his eating was terrible pre packed sandwiches chocolate chips then these energy drinks him and his girlfriend become parents of my beautiful granddaughter Phoebe the love for her is unbearable.
In this time when his partner and him lived together he had a few dka and was admitted to hospital After couple years went by he separated from his partner witch he found tuff but then she stopped him seeing him witch I no would of broke his heart through splitting up about a year ago he has been all over the place he was lost all I did if he popped in I'd have a go at him to sort his self out then I got a phone call from his dad to say he had passed away a mums worst nightmere I just felt I wasn't there for him I don't remember telling him I loved him every dad since I struggle with life I have my granddaughter as much as possible I haven't seen her for 7 weeks because of lockdown and I have had couple very dark places all I do is cry I live alone as my other two are both at uni and are coping there way as best they can I'm scared he was in pain and alone so couldn't get help .......

Please focus on the fact that you did your best for him. It is easy to beat yourself up after the event, but the situation you have been in has been a nightmare to say the least. The very fact you have posted here shows just how much you care. Please talk to someone, at least on the phone. Maybe one of your other 2 children or other relatives. Good luck.

 

[Buddymatt]

Please focus on the fact that you did your best for him. It is easy to beat yourself up after the event, but the situation you have been in has been a nightmare to say the least. The very fact you have posted here shows just how much you care. Please talk to someone, at least on the phone. Maybe one of your other 2 children or other relatives. Good luck.

Thank you grant I am receiving bereavement counciling was 1 to 1 witch helped then since the virus has to be over the phone and it's not the same I have friends but they have there own lives I've been in isolation now 7 weeks I feel I'm going mad am finding not seeing my granddaughter who is 5 next week she is my world she is so like Matt her dad she gives me so much comfort thank you for your time to write back I'm very grateful

 

[Buddymatt]

I can't imagine how horrible your son's death must feel and it is not very long ago. Made me think of what I put my own parents through. In the end they could not help me but I did know they loved me and I made it through the dramas of my teens and 20s. He was unlucky and you are the right that this was wrong and unfair.
So glad to hear you have his daughter to dote upon but perhaps you could try and share your feelings with your other 2 kids not to burden them but to let them know this is something that you can talk about.

Hi there thank you for your reply as I'm a type 2 diabetic I have been isolating the past 7 weeks so not seen my granddaughter witch I'm finding very hard I do FaceTime her thank god for technology yes my other two are at unis one in Lincoln and one in Norwich they have busy lives but we have all spoke and said we all need to make time for us and meet up when they can thank you so much for your message ..

 

[Buddymatt]

Hi @Buddymatt ,

Welcome to the forum & sorry for your loss.

I empathise it can be difficult to make sense of what's happened.
But your son did leave a gift in a grandchild.

Kind regards,

Jay.

Hi thank you for your kind words I no he did but I would of preferred her to have her dad it's hard as phoebes mum has moved on with a new relationship Matt past away 7 months ago and was looking for Father's Day cards and said to me not sure what you think of this one she showed me was a picture of her Phoebe and her new man and the card was from Phoebe to give to her new man a Father's Day card I found that very disrespectful my son not even been dead a year yet that really has upset me I have to say nothing as she could stop me seeing my granddaughter ..

 

[Buddymatt]

I'm so sorry for your loss, @Buddymatt , I have no words for it. Have a virtual hug, for what it's worth.

Thank you

 

[Jaylee]

Hi thank you for your kind words I no he did but I would of preferred her to have her dad it's hard as phoebes mum has moved on with a new relationship Matt past away 7 months ago and was looking for Father's Day cards and said to me not sure what you think of this one she showed me was a picture of her Phoebe and her new man and the card was from Phoebe to give to her new man a Father's Day card I found that very disrespectful my son not even been dead a year yet that really has upset me I have to say nothing as she could stop me seeing my granddaughter ..

Hi,

The dynamics of a relationship can change. Some have issue & sadly never recover. I'm not sure how long your son had been separated from the mother of your grandchild before his passing.
The "new guy?" In the mother's life maybe a decent bloke & may just play a part to remind your granddaughter of your son's memory..

There will no doubt come a time when your grandchild will want to ask her own questions.
I glad you have found bereavement counselling. & please remember, the covid thread & lockdown won't last forever..

 

[NicoleC1971]

Hi there thank you for your reply as I'm a type 2 diabetic I have been isolating the past 7 weeks so not seen my granddaughter witch I'm finding very hard I do FaceTime her thank god for technology yes my other two are at unis one in Lincoln and one in Norwich they have busy lives but we have all spoke and said we all need to make time for us and meet up when they can thank you so much for your message ..

it looks like you may be allowed to see her albeit in a garden/park if she understands that she can't hug you just yet. It should be noted that the WHO and lots of European coutnries are sending their kids back to school because there is strong evidence that kids are not infected badly nor infectious.
Good luck and please think of how happy your son would have been to see you with her again.

 

[Ray B]

Hi there I have just joined I'm a grieving mother I lost my son last October 2019 he was age 27 he died alone from dka I'm struggling to go on I just want him back why take him from us he was well liked a mad sence of humour he was diagnosed
When he was 18 months old I had just split from his dad when he was diagnosed through life his blood was always up and down they couldn't seem to find the right insulin as time went on and became a teenager he didn't want to be a diabetic he wanted to be like his friends he hit a very low point in his life . He was a chef witch wasn't the best job as unsociable hours his eating was terrible pre packed sandwiches chocolate chips then these energy drinks him and his girlfriend become parents of my beautiful granddaughter Phoebe the love for her is unbearable.
In this time when his partner and him lived together he had a few dka and was admitted to hospital After couple years went by he separated from his partner witch he found tuff but then she stopped him seeing him witch I no would of broke his heart through splitting up about a year ago he has been all over the place he was lost all I did if he popped in I'd have a go at him to sort his self out then I got a phone call from his dad to say he had passed away a mums worst nightmere I just felt I wasn't there for him I don't remember telling him I loved him every dad since I struggle with life I have my granddaughter as much as possible I haven't seen her for 7 weeks because of lockdown and I have had couple very dark places all I do is cry I live alone as my other two are both at uni and are coping there way as best they can I'm scared he was in pain and alone so couldn't get help .......

I can only reiterate what people have said. So sorry for the loss of your son.
Ray B