Struggling - mentally, physically, type 1diabetes, depression

[Jaylee]

I have a 6yr old daughter who's just diagnosed - I am so proud of you for fighting through all your challenges - I hope my daughter can be just as strong. You have a job, a great one at that - something that helps you make the world a better place for everyone. You sacrificed your own health - got COVID while caring for others on top of fighting this wretched disease. You have a job, a house, and a full life. You my dear, are a fighter. A surviror. You WILL persevere. You WILL find happiness. You WILL be content with life. You WILL find peace.

You WILL get through this.

Hi,

I have every confidence your daughter will do brilliantly.

 

[LooperCat]

No worries thank you.
Unfortunately do to my profession I cant wear any watches ring etc. I'll have a look into it though x

Hi, only just seen your post and wanted to send a huge hug, I understand your frustration, I’ve been in a similar boat myself. You should be able to wear a smart watch that displays your blood glucose at work, as a reasonable adjustment under the Equalities Act 2010 - I’m also a healthcare worker and am allowed to wear my Apple Watch despite the BBE policy. I use a silicone strap for work, and it gets a regular wipe down with a Clinell wipe. You can also get a carabiner thingy that replaces the strap and tuns it into a fob watch.

 

[MarkHaZ123]

Sounds like hell

It sounds like you have a lot of issues around your diabetes and how much it controls your life.
Iv only been diagnosed a year as type 1 so I know short term what it's like and how much it has changed me as a person and how I worry about certain things like exercise/work/nights out and how they will affect my bloods so as a diabetic we don't have an easy life at all.
With regards the your levels I'd definitely speak to someone about it from the clinic. Try and make a weekly/daily chart and note down different times of the day when things change and at the end of a couple of weeks try and see if there are any patterns to some of the things that have happened. I did this with cbt for my anxiety years back

I'm going through a hard time at the moment. Iv been ill since March with issues with my sinuses but this last month I was told I was anemic but the doctor wasn't just happy with that with all my symptoms so he's set me up an emergency appointment with the hospital to have a camara down my throat to find any issues as Iv got something wrong but could be anything

Iv also like you suffered depression. I suffered once with depression and once with depression and anxiety. The second time was when I did cbt as I mentioned above and I worked out a pattern as to why I was bad. It always came back to my job and how much I hated it. I knew then I had to change my work and do something different so I became a bathroom fitter. I just turned to myself and said sod this. I am on this planet for one life and I'm going to enjoy it and not beat myself up about things so my partner and me go away alot more. I'm trying to get into property investment and various other things. As long as my bills are paid I now enjoy life. It has worked for me so far. I get the odd days when it's bad and not feeling well is really testing me but I still look to the future


Always speak to someone when you can and always ask for help when you need it. If it is the diabetes that is making things bad then just speak to specialists and get on top of that(easier said than done) and you should feel better. Always look the problem in the face and challenge it

 

[Brendon.Dean]

hi all,

I've not been on here for abit 3yrs, not entirely sure why but im struggling. Mentally. Physically. Diabetes wise. Depression wise. Work wise. My friend suggested a forum or blog so I thought id try.

Background. I'm 27 and a nurse. Diagosed type 1 Christmas 2000. I've had issues with hypos, hypers, diabulimia, dka three times. In 2008 I suffered massively with diabulimia, and resulted in becoming comatose in ITU in alder hay, where I had to he resuscitated 4 times. I've been bullied, been left out, been called, been alone.
Had bouts of low mood, anxiety and depression since I was 14. Diagnosed aged 16. Been self-harming since I was 15 (non for the last couple yrs) (go me).

Things are going well or should I say were going well.
My HbA1c was 7.1mmol/L back in January. My weight was 73.4kg. Both my lowest.
However since the whole covid situation, its all gone to pot.
My weights rose to 77.9kgs, my HbA1c is back up to 8.2. I feel terrible. I have hyper after hyper followed by rebound lows. Or lows followed by rebound highs. Some days I din6t want to test because I dread to see the result. I feel like I'm in a vicious circle that never ever ends.
I go to the gym 2-4times a week depending on my work schedule. I do 3-4 long days (12.5 hours (not including the commute by bus) I've worked the entire covid. I've even had the dreaded covid.

Alots happened recently. One of my freckles doubled in size and changed colour. I've been for a biopsy and I'm awaiting the results to find out if its benign or malignant.
My shoulders been playing up for years. And I've recently been for an MRI. Awaiting appt for those results too.

My diabetes is out of control. Up down up down. I feel no matter what I do it just does its own thing.
I eat reasonably. I've tried low cal and low carb and I just hypo hypo hypo. I do eat chocolate everyday. But only if my blood sugars are below 8. Anything above 8 and its no chocolate for me.
With my anxiety and depression I just feel I'm struggling so much right now.
I spend ages crying and worrying. I'm a nurse I should be able to handle this.
But with my weight increasing and me looking in the mirror I just see fat fat fat.
I've contemplated omitting my insulin to drop some weight but at the same time I know I'll jusy end up in dka again which obvs scares me.
I'm on complex therapy.
Novorapid x3/day
Levemir of a morning
Dapaglifloxin 10mg
Metformin MR 2g
Duloxetine (for my anxiety and depression)
My consultants also put me in victoza/liraglutide to try and help with my blood glucose and weight issues. Because I've tried dieting, I go to the gym regularly, I work long days always on my feet but since covid I've just put on weight, BMs have gone up, my moods horrid.

I shouldn't feel like this. I dint want to feel like this. I mean I've also had really good aspects to this god-awful yr. I've been to Jamaica (precovid)
Me and my partner bought a house and we moved in almost 2 months ago. I've got a job. A house. Food on the table.
But at the same time I spend countless hours thinking about omitting my insulin, cutting my fatty stomach off, self harming. And I shouldn't.

I know this doesn't replace processional or medical help but I don't know if talking to others who may understand or relate may help.

I've opened up to my partner about these things and he's great, until it comes to my depression becoming bad. He just freezes up, not sure what to say. I know he tries and he's trying.

Sorry for the huge post.
Thanks to anyone who reads and/or comments.
Becky

You will get your diabetes under control, I know you can do it gurl! I know it's so freakin hard when everythings upside down and you don't know where to even start but once you get the ball rolling it gets much much better I can say that much.