I feel so low

[colinrim]

I’m at the end of hope, diagnosed in 2005 type 2
I’m ashamed, embarrassed, constantly losing my temper, always tired, unemployed and unemployable.
Stuck in a viscous circle still overweight and with high blood sugar I darent get my latest blood test result.
I can’t see joy in anything or a decent future
I just don’t have any fight left
I can’t do it

 

[DCUKMod]

I’m at the end of hope, diagnosed in 2005 type 2
I’m ashamed, embarrassed, constantly losing my temper, always tired, unemployed and unemployable.
Stuck in a viscous circle still overweight and with high blood sugar I darent get my latest blood test result.
I can’t see joy in anything or a decent future
I just don’t have any fight left
I can’t do it

Colin, have you spoken with your doctor about how low you are feeling? I'm not suggesting your blood sugars are the root cause of those depressed. Feelings, but if your numbers are running high, that will be adding to the problem, unfortunately.

If you haven't already, please do seek help with your mental health. Your mental and physical health are inextricably linked.

Should you be thinking very dark thoughts, The Samaritans are out there 24/7 and are very skilled at helping those in very dark places. They can be found by the following routes:

 

[DCUKMod]

Oooops, that post went a bit wrong! Please do seek help Colin, from your friends, family, doctor or The Samaritans. You deserve better than feeling as you do at present.

 

[Lamont D]

Hi @colinrim and welcome to our forum.

Unfortunately, you need to speak to your GP.
Never mind your diabetes, but your state of mind.
I have just gone through a really hard time, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, due to a lot of circumstances, one after another, then I had a breakdown in the summer. A lot to do with getting made redundant! I have never been out of work!
My GP helped me so much, she got me in touch with a local counsellor who assessed my state of being angry, feeling really low, and I was so down and my family pushed me to speak to someone about my what I thought was anxiety but it was depression, I had dark thoughts but I would never have done anything about it. I have experienced all that quite a few years ago.
It's bloody horrible feeling like you do, but at least now you have reached out, you need to follow this up and get help from your local mental health care providers.
They are very good at letting you get what it is you need to discuss your issues.
I am now on meds for my depression, so far, it's a lot better than it was, I've still got a long way to go, but I'm getting there.

Are you on diabetes meds?
What dietary advice have you had?

I know that now seems that there is nothing and life is so frustrating and the obvious question is why me? But only you can pick up a phone and start the process.
It's really hard because you feel embarrassed, I'm useless, I'm a burden and because of everything going on I don't want to bother them, and last of all, I don't want to put my feelings out there.
You have had the courage to post on here, that is great, the next step is to pick up the phone and talk to someone, then on Monday you will phone your doctor and get a phone appointment, then take it from there.

It will get better, you will have ups and downs, but things can really improve, if you look at the threads on here there are so many people that have got their diabetes under control, they have achieved so much by learning to control your blood glucose levels, so that you can see what you need to do to get the control.
We recommend that you, read the forum, on how to use diet to reduce carbs and sugars enough to start the spikes which occur after eating carbs.

But, leave that until you start sorting your mental health issues.

If you want to talk more or ask questions, do so, I will stay here for another hour or so.

Take care, stay safe.

 

[MAlafi]

I have been through similar thoughts until I decided to help myself by making achievable small change in my life. I decided to walk for 30 minutes daily. Believe me it is a game changing thing. My mood become better and I get rid of many negative thoughts.

 

[VashtiB]

hello and welcome- I'm in Australia so it is daytime and I'm happy to be here for a while if you would like some virtual company.

The advice above is great. You really do need to seek help. I'm another that suffers from anxiety and depression so I also have felt hopeless. Yes sometimes it can feel that there is no light at the end of your very long tunnel.

There are people who will listen so as suggested above ring someone to help get you through now and then ring your GP on Monday. You deserve to feel better than you do at the moment. I can remember the first time I was put on mediation for my depression- my doctor said come back and see me in 2 weeks and see how you feel then. I didn't think anything would have changed but it had- one the mediation was able to help I was able to help myself a bit. There is no blame or shame about needing help- no more than if it were a broken leg.

You are worth more than you think at the moment- please call someone.

 

[Jo_the_boat]

Hi Colin
A guy came to do some work for us driving a mini-digger.
He's a bear of a man and cheerful. But he's had mental health battle.
He needed to talk to someone and he found help HERE.
It's called Andy's Man Club.
There's lots of information of the web but some more info about it HERE.

There is no stigma to being unwell and there are people who really want to help.
Your first step is to talk.
Good luck and stay safe
Jo

 

[colinrim]

Thank you for all your kind replies, I haven’t read them properly yet, I will do though.

It’s heartening to know others care and will take the time to help a stranger.

I got my diagnosis date wrong, I was actually diagnosed in 2012, not that it matters.

I don’t feel at this moment I want to waste a doctors time due to the pandemic, they have real issues to deal with.
For the time being I shall carry on as before, you’re right of course, the Diabetes in itself isn’t the whole problem, other factors in my life are in play but I need to get my health on track....
Can I ask a question? Am I alone in sometimes embracing the diabetes and almost welcoming the future problems it may cause?

 

[Daphne917]

Thank you for all your kind replies, I haven’t read them properly yet, I will do though.

It’s heartening to know others care and will take the time to help a stranger.

I got my diagnosis date wrong, I was actually diagnosed in 2012, not that it matters.

I don’t feel at this moment I want to waste a doctors time due to the pandemic, they have real issues to deal with.
For the time being I shall carry on as before, you’re right of course, the Diabetes in itself isn’t the whole problem, other factors in my life are in play but I need to get my health on track....
Can I ask a question? Am I alone in sometimes embracing the diabetes and almost welcoming the future problems it may cause?

@colinrim please do not think you are wasting your doctors time - they would rather you see them so that they can help you rather than you leave it and go on feeling as you do.

 

[Dr Snoddy]

@colinrim Please contact your doctor. You are just as worthy of their care as anyone else despite the pandemic. Your GP is the first port of call towards getting the help and support that you need. Best wishes.

 

[DCUKMod]

Thank you for all your kind replies, I haven’t read them properly yet, I will do though.

It’s heartening to know others care and will take the time to help a stranger.

I got my diagnosis date wrong, I was actually diagnosed in 2012, not that it matters.

I don’t feel at this moment I want to waste a doctors time due to the pandemic, they have real issues to deal with.
For the time being I shall carry on as before, you’re right of course, the Diabetes in itself isn’t the whole problem, other factors in my life are in play but I need to get my health on track....
Can I ask a question? Am I alone in sometimes embracing the diabetes and almost welcoming the future problems it may cause?

Colin, thank you so much for coming back. You are welcome any time, and many, if not most, of us have logged on from time to time feeling fed up for one reason or another. I'm not suggesting that my fed up is the same as your feelings. I wouldn't and couldn't, but there's virtually always someone around to talk to.

Stick around if you fancy it. Some real, and firm friendships have been found on these fora.

 

[Lamont D]

Thank you for all your kind replies, I haven’t read them properly yet, I will do though.

It’s heartening to know others care and will take the time to help a stranger.

I got my diagnosis date wrong, I was actually diagnosed in 2012, not that it matters.

I don’t feel at this moment I want to waste a doctors time due to the pandemic, they have real issues to deal with.
For the time being I shall carry on as before, you’re right of course, the Diabetes in itself isn’t the whole problem, other factors in my life are in play but I need to get my health on track....
Can I ask a question? Am I alone in sometimes embracing the diabetes and almost welcoming the future problems it may cause?

Hi again Colin, hope you are a bit better today.
I'm having a rough day, can't seem to get myself feeling anything but hurting, the wife had a bad night, I had a bad night, woke up feeling awful, feeling my age, think I'm coming down with something. And to top it off my team lost, the manager needs to go.
I have a condition where I have to be in control, in charge of what I eat, otherwise I can be really poorly, if not, I would have hypos. So every day I wake up and I can only eat foods that don't trigger a hypo. I produce too much insulin.
It is a quite rare condition and the doctors have never have come up with a magic pill or a treatment that really works, not what you want to know when you are going through two types of help. One is the hypos, the other is the symptoms, namely anxiety disorder, and now depression because of my circumstances the last couple of months!
I have no option but to make sure that I don't fall off the wagon, which I did because of redundancy. I got back on, while I was getting counselling and my doctor who was brilliant at supporting me and doing tests to see how my body was health wise.
I have since with help, sorted myself, and my health is good, my mental issues are still up and down.
It helps with putting in down in a post like this, it helps focus on what you should be doing to start getting better, small steps, do as much as you are able, as long as you have a reason to do so, and you have.

I assure you, talk to someone, take the first steps.

Keep safe and try and be positive.

 

[MrsA2]

These days most in the UK can access help with depression and or similar mental health issues without needing to see their GP. Simply Google CBT and your area and it should come up with online or telephone services . There will be an initial online assessment, so always answer if as at your lowest.
I used such a service a couple of years ago and it worked well. They can refer you upwards if needed

 

[colinrim]

I’ve taken time to read all your kind replies and again I’m heartened by your good wishes, advice and thoughts.
I do believe that a small proportion of my problems are caused by my mismanagement of my diabetes, especially the foul mood swings and unfortunately my partner takes the brunt.

You have inspired me, at least to try and regulate my food intake and see if that small step can lead to other steps which may help.
I’m not suicidal (at least I don’t think so) but I do think about releasing myself every day. I know I haven’t the courage to act on those thoughts.

I may contact my GP but I’ve been there before, was given meds which didn’t really help.
I’ve also paid for my own counseling in the past so there is an option there, we’ll see.

 

[MarkHaZ123]

There is always a way out. A way to improve things even if it isn't overnight

Talking to someone is the first step and mentioning it on here is a great thing.

You need to find a way of getting on a good path to where you'd like to be. Small steps and setting goals is a good way

You're not the first and won't be the last to feel like this.

 

[Ronancastled]

Colin

Thinking of you man.
Just had a look at your recent postings & I noticed you haven't had a single figure fasting since diagnosis.
Your medical team have to get on top of this for you, no use using Covid as an excuse.
I've had a number of phone consults since March, no issues.
While your discussing your diabetes treatment bring up your mental health.
Two birds wih the one stone could really turn everything around.

Best of luck

 

[Lilylala]

Hi Colin

We are not all in the same boat but riding the same storm together , we are here to listen , share , support each other , through all that life is chucking at us right now , for as long as you need us to be there for each other , if you can get outside and take some deep breaths and count to 10 with your eyes looking to the sky we are all breathing together with you , take care , stay safe we will get through this one day at a time .