Hiya. Not diabetic but would welcome advice please

[PeterM]

Hi

I've joined your forum because one of my best mates has been diabetic for the last 15 or so years, and I urgently need some advice please.

A little background might help you understand the moral dilemma I, and his other friends now face.

Brian has, in the last couple of years, let his management of his condition slip I would wager, horrendously. I know its easy for a non-diabetic like myself to judge, but we are VERY worried about his health now.
In years gone by, he would have the occasional hypo, and we could get him back in play by giving him chocolate and sugary tea. Nowadays, he is having hypos very frequently, and having read some of the posts in your forum, I believe he isnt "hypo-aware"?
Additionally, the nature of the hypos has I think got worse. He didnt use to shake, have fits or convulsions, or have bad balance. Previously in the past, it would take 20-30 min for him to recover. Now it can take well over and hour, and sometimes longer.

The dilemma is this. The new rules as I understand on driving, will probably mean he would lose his license, and therefore his job. We dont want that to happen obviously. But.....

I dont want him to have a hypo at the wheel and kill himself and/or others.

What do we, as his friends do? He wont talk about it with us. I think he is still in some kind of denial about his condition, and refuses to acknowledge it with us.

I want to know if having constant hypos will eventually lead to more serious problems, and if so, should we call an ambulance when he has these attacks? (If we do that, he loses license I presume?)

Im sorry for long question, I'm gutted its come to this, I just want to help my friend.

His lifestyle is not good, bad diet, drinks too much at times, and smokes a lot of cannabis/marajuana. He is in his late 40s.
Thanks a million in advance

Peter

 

[ams162]

hiya
u have my sympathy its very hard to watch someone who wont help them self i cannot advise about licences etc as my son is only 9 but i would hate to think of someone driving hypo sometimes dylan doesnt know what time of day it is or where he is so someone driving in that state quite frankly scares me to death. i know u dont want to make his friend lose his job and licence but if he isnt stable i feel he prob shouldnt be driving.

he needs to take some responsibility of the care of his diabetes and if he wont talk to u about it i cant see what u can do to help him improve other than keep trying to talk to him and being a good friend and being there for him when he does want help.

i presume he is type 1 and on insulin if this is the case he needs to adjust his insulin to stop these hypos happening and talking to a diabetes specialist nurse would help him do this, having continual hypos is not good for him and his long term healthso something does need to be changed but as to what i am at a loss, really just wanted to offer my support and have rambled on so sorry about that

anna marie

 

[Grazer]

I'm a type 2, not a type 1, but would he be better if fitted with a pump? As I understand, they regulate the amount of insulin delivered to reduce the danger of Hypos. Perhaps a friendly "Hey, read an article about insulin pumps...." might help bridge an introduction.
Good luck anyway.

 

[PeterM]

Thats magic Anna Marie, I really appreciate the time you took with your reply. I and another good friend plan to sit him down and make him understand he needs to face this properly. It feels like we are slowly watching him deteriorate and we cant stand by without saying and possibly doing something.

I completely agree he cant be driving if he doesnt manage his condition...I dont think he even takes blood readings at all - I came on here to do some researxh and be armed with the facts. Is type one when he doesnt have enough sugar?

I trust your wee guy is doing good ;-)

Peter

 

[PeterM]

Thanks Grazer, I will drop that in tonight when I go to see him

 

[chocoholicnomore]

Oh Peter, what a dilemma you are in.

I hope your friend realises how lucky he is to have friends like you who care so much and want to help him.

I don't know what I would do in your position. The only thing I can think of is if he has family members that you could maybe confide in. They might not realise the extent of his problems if they don't see as much of him as you do. Also, does he have underlying problems like depression and may need counselling? I know you say he won't talk about it but is it possible to shock him into getting help and/or counselling. Maybe explain to him the risk he is taking of losing his driving licence and his job and ultimately his life. Maybe you could offer to go with him to appointments or see if there is a local support group in your area that you could go to together. Could he maybe have realised how bad his problems are but he may be too frightened to deal with them? Maybe him refusing to talk about it is a cover up.

I know I'm not much help but, hopefully, I may have touched on something that you hadn't thought about.

I really do hope you and the rest of your friends are able to do something to help him and also that he appreciates your help in the end.

You are welcome to come onto the forum at any time and ask any questions. Everyone here is really helpful, supportive and full of good advice. Even if you just need a rant, we will listen.

And please keep us updated with your situation and let us know how you get on.

 

[ams162]

type one is usually diagnosed in younger people and they are insulin dependant now u can have type 2s on insulin but they have usually tried diet or tablet controlled first but i dont think (and im not sure cos im no expert on type 2) they have such severe hypos unless on insulin.

im sat here thinking what a fab friend u must be to go to all this effort for ur friend and wanting to help them when they obviously dont seem to want to help themselves, good on u for trying to find out some facts before tackling the issue with ur friend.

the first step is taking the blood glucose readings as without them he will have no idea what he needs to change so if u can persuade him to do some that would be a start and then if he would make an appointment to see a consultant or nurse they would have some readings to work with when he got there, altho he maybe worried about being judged by a professional for letting things slip as he has.

i applaud u for ur effort peter :clap: :clap: :clap: and hope u can get through to ur friend he is a lucky chap to have such a caring friend

anna marie

 

[Andybanbury]

Hello Peter
Do you know which surgery he goes to? If so maybe you could speak to the Diabetes nurse there and see if they can help or advise?? Good luck

 

[Andybanbury]

Perhaps you could show him the "Diabetes does Kill " thread.