@Kerr12071992 . Welcome to the forum..
There are some great and very experienced type 1 diabetics hanging around this forum who will have been exactly where you are now.
Diabetes , especially T1 is so much more than BS numbers, insulin ratios, carb intake etc.
The daily 24/7 demands have the ability to reach deep into our souls.
It would appear that diabetes has found a way to take control of your life. It does this using negativity as one of its greatest weapons. You need to find positivity in your life, regain control of your life how you want it.
You can try fighting diabetes but in my experience you never win, it will always be there the next morning.
My approach is to embrace diabetes, use it to make me stronger and more focused. Make diabetes the reason you achieve.
I think if you can probably address the mental and emotional side of your diabetes the rest will become much easier.
None of us are perfect. Highs and lows are all part of the game. Start with small steps and changes to finding positivity and happiness in your life.
Join in with us on the Type 1 sub forum. It would be great to see you posting there.