- Messages
- 40
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Insulin
It may sound funny but it is true. I had my little citrus plant, it was a mandarin, orange or lemon, I am not sure. And I planted it from the seed. It took long time to sprout, I even thought it was some random weed that came with the wind. But after it grew a bit more I could see it was my citrus plant because when you rubbed the leaves with finger you could smell nice citrus smell. So I loved that plant. It grew so slow so I appreciated every leaf it grew and each new branch it had. I didn't count the years but I really loved that plant. It grew so slowly compared to plants so I knew it was hard work for a plant to grow if it is so slow. It came a time for me to move out. I moved out 3.5 years ago, and one year my mom told me that the plant is dead. I asked her why, and she said because she forgot to water it.... And so, I am 24 years old in 2 weeks. My plant died over a year ago and I still feel hatred to my mom. I didn't cope with the fact that my plant has dried because of thoughtless actions of my mother. I am an adult however I feel like a child for hating my mom for something like this. She doesn't have an Alzheimer or Amnesia or something. She isn't elderly either. I think somehow she did this on purpose because that plant took to much space or she wanted only her plants on the windowsill. So here's my question. Should I tell my mom that I cannot forgive her for what she did? How can I cope with that? It is like, something that you cared for for years is just destroyed so ignorantly. There is something that you put love, effort, energy into something, and then one person just destroys it out of random. And it is your closest family member. I think she doesn't even realize that I felt sad when she told me what she did because I could hear no remorse whatsoever in hear voice. Now I feel like starting from zero. I could just buy another fruit and plant the seed but why if life can be so easily destroyed? And, you cannot just replace what you had. If your child dies, you don't start copulating to have another one, some people do that with pets, like dogs, however for me it is so superficial. You cannot replace what you had. You cannot replace your loved ones if they're gone. When they die, part of you also dies. Life stops to make sense anymore. Now each plant I ever but or plant a seed will never have the same meaning as it had before. For one thing is, I am 24, why would I start something now if I could continue and take care of something I had for many years. One thing is sure that I will never trust my mom to take care of a plant, of a pet or never trust her with anything because she destroys everything I own. She just doesn't respect my aspirations and what is important to me. She probably thinks of this plant as of any other random plant. She plainly doesn't see how much I valued it. Also I will add I have not visited my mom since that time. I just feel such anger towards her I cannot trust her with anything. Also I never told her anything about it. Never told her that I am angry and disappointed. Should I tell her or not? If I tell her maybe we will have a big argument, but if I won't tell her, I will still be angry at her which will give me satisfaction for still hating her for that.