As the title says I’m an all or nothing type of person. At the start of my life with type2 I was fanatical and got my HBA1C down from 95 to 38 in 12 months, but as with everything else I couldn’t keep it up so everything started to yo-yo . As a result this morning I have taken my first metformin tablet.
Well, at least now you have some kind of safety-net.
But I think it's worth examining this idea/label you've given yourself. I'm not at all qualified to psycho-analyse, Im just quite familiar from considering my own experience and others't hat these labels (whether placed on us from an external source or our own internal beliefs) can be left-over from a time when they might've applied, and no longer serve us, or may even have
never really been true. Even if you always acted this way, that doesn't mean it's hard-encoded into your very fabric, and unchangeable.
Of course, the fact that you've accepted the medication seems to be you acknowledging that this is the first step away from such diametrically-opposed extremes. But you still start the post off saying you are an all-or-nothing person. Perhaps, with time and self-examination that label will give way and you'll eventually hit on Buddha's (Or Goldilocks') middle-path i.e Not too much; not too little...but, just exactly what you need to do.
All the best