I just don't know if I can do this anymore

[Fenn]

Hi, sorry you are struggling, been there, done that, been quite a few years now and still feel like giving up quite often…. No wait, I do give up often. Just wanted to say your not alone, please keep talking here, these guys are awesome.

I do agree type twos are looked down on like the drunk person who falls and cracks their head open, there is a self inflicted attitude, this as we here know is so very far from the truth.

Just a thought, if you feel bad about the T2. diagnosis,, just lie, say you are an insulin dependent diabetic, everyone will assume, no ones business anyway, I don’t like injecting in public right or wrong so most people apart from nearest and dearest don’t need to know I am diabetic, carry glucose and you can take care of hypos easy enough.

Best wishes.

 

[HSSS]

I think not discussing it with colleagues etc any further for now is a wise choice. Wait until you know what’s happening and have dealt with it yourself first. Then decide what if anything you want to update them on. You have plenty to adjust to without other peoples ignorance making it harder than it needs to be. The weight gain (before the loss you experienced) is caused by insulin resistance well before T2 diabetes shows up in tests so no blame is needed about that if you do end up as a type 2.

whilst you’re not planning on making changes just yet I’d add another voice to the “fatty” thing. I hated fatty food when I was eating carbs. Loathed it. And it wasn’t a guidance thing either. I wasn’t scared of it or dieting. Just hated the taste and even smell of it. Hated cream, fat on meat etc etc. however once I cut the carbs my tastebuds changed considerably. Not only could I taste the natural sweetness in many things (peppers, carrots etc) I never considered sweet before but I actually came to like fats. I love double cream, I no longer cut all the white bits off bacon. I’ve even eaten belly pork and chicken skin (crispy mind) you). And all my cholesterol levels as well as weight improved along with my hba1c despite these additions to my diet. Many people find a way of eating they dreaded actually turns out to be ok once they ditch the carbs.

I guess what I’m saying is try not to leap too far ahead or have fixed conclusions of how it will be. If you need to make these changes later then just take it a day at a time. With lots of experimenting I’m sure you (with any help you want from us) will find ways to make it better than you fear.

 

[MrsA2]

Hi @KatMac1
Am so glad you are feeling a bit better today. Posting on this forum is the best possible thing you could have done. It is so knowledgeable and supportive.

My twopennyworth at this stage is "never say never", I can't believe how much my body and my tastes have changed over the past 2 years. When I first joined here I thought people were mad saying I'd learn to love a different cheese as a 'treat' for example... and what did I get excited about in the shop today? Yes, a cheese!!!

Also did you know that already over 50% of Americand are thought to have type 2 and that number is rising. Within a few years types 2s will be the majority of the population. Its the fastest growing medical condition in China and India, populations were it used to be very rare. There are many different theories why, genetic, epigenetic, processed foods, environmental, the list goes on BUT no one of those millions who have it did it to themselves, or caused it, or is to blame, and neither are you.
Like most of us in here you are just trying your best to deal with the hand of cards you've been handed. OK, it takes time to learn the game so don't be hard on yourself.

Keep posting, please

 

[Em16]

First of all, thank you for the kind replies! I was/am really struggling with this situation, so I really do appreciate you taking the time to reply/reassure/help me.

Today was actually slightly better - I was really busy at work which took my mind off of everything for a bit. It's still not great when I have time to think, I just can't help but get upset. I guess this is still probably an improvement over yesterday.

My plan at the moment is to eat sensibly and take my insulin (as I have been for the last couple of months) until I speak to the consultant. Especially since my sugars have been pretty good since being on insulin, so hopefully this won't make much difference. Once I speak to them, I'm hoping I'll get a better idea about the situation and I can take it from there. I still HATE everything about this whole situation, but there's nothing I can do to change what's happened.

Hi KatMac1,

I just wanted to send you a hug too. My situation is sort of similar ....I was told I was type 1 (LADA) initially - although the tests for this were not conclusive. I was taking insulin but am now diet controlled only. I recently got an official diagnostic letter which says, "we are not sure whether she has type 1 or type 2 diabetes, but she is currently very well controlled with diet and exercise". I've got round the difficulties I've felt about telling people (including employers etc) if they ask directly about my insulin by telling them that diabetes isn't straightforward and that its still all being worked out - that sometimes I use insulin, but mostly not - my choice. I've got more confident as time has gone on in being upfront about it - I think I almost felt like a fraud at first....everyone seemed to give such gravitas to an illness which needed insulin, compared to one that didn't. But in the end my good health overrides all that concern about what I think others may or may not think...and yours will too in time. Like you I am also not a massive fan of many 'fatty' foods. Mostly the high fat element of my diet comes from avacados/nuts/olive oil/greek yoghurt. From time to time it does all feel a bit overwhelming....but, I've also found that as my glucose has improved I've felt so much healthier (and as a result calmer and happier). I feel certain that as your glucose improves, you will begin to feel so much better too. You're definitely in the right place on this website too...I coast here anytime I feel pigged off with it all. Good luck, you'll get a hang of it, you'll find the recipes you love...and you'll feel great again. Em

 

[VashtiB]

Hi @KatMac1 -how are you feeling now. I hope that you continue to read and post on the forum- you have already been introduced to some great people and seen how awesome and supportive people can be.

Good luck and I hope things are feeling a little bit better.

 

[OB87]

I know how you feel. I was diagnosed with type 2 aged 32 and I have only told my husband as I feel ashamed of it. But it does get easier. Now my blood sugars are normal I can eat some carb food, I just have smaller portions though I do have a 'bad' meal every now and again and I don't see a huge increase in blood sugars. I couldn't cut foods out completely as this is something i need to stick to for the next 50 years (hopefully) .I never thought this at the time but maybe this was what I needed to finally be healthy and lose some weight . I'm healthier than I ever have been now and not sure I would be had I not been diagnosed. It is a shock but you will get there. Plus you will find your tastes might change, I used to have a chocolate bar every day now I can't remember the last time I did, I don't even think about it now the cravings have gone.

 

[klh63]

You can do this !!! You got this !! You can have a normal life !! I too want the nightmare to end and plan on fighting my way through this every step of the way.....each day is a new day a new opportunity and a new way forward !!! You got this !!! Reach out to those around you......reach out to those here.....talk your way through this, your whole life is ahead of you and it will have tough times even the most blessed have tough times, but YOU will have fantastic adventures on a journey you get to dictate you have to control the narrative in your head and your emotional state.....honey you are so young...YOU ABSOLUTELY GOT THIS....right now you are vulnerable and hit with this diagnosis ( I am where you are...newly diagnosed) but there is no shame nor is there guilt AT ALL !! So there are skinny people with Type 2 diabetes.......I moved a herd of horses to a new farm I bought and the entire herd went IR within months and they are horses eating forage........there are studies that show propionate in low doses in animals causes IR and could lead to diabetes, propionate is in horse grains to preserve them...well fun fact...The foods most likely to contain propionate are breads, tortillas, pizza dough, pastries, breakfast cereals, pasta and noodles, dried and condensed milk, flavored milks, dairy-based spreads, cheese, some processed meats, certain processed fruit and vegetable products, and dairy, egg, and fat-based desserts....ITS NOT YOUR FAULT !!!! so for us humans to assume that the studies linking IR in animals to low doses of propionate it would be extremely naive to think humans do not have the same affect......In our evolution we have come up with ways to preserve food and propionate preserves food.....Hey so maybe you like food so do skinny people.....there is no guilt nor embarrassment if anyone judges you or thinks less of you they ARE NOT YOUR TRIBE FIND A NEW TRIBE but I think you will be surprised to find you are judging you, cut loose anyone else who judges you and stop judging yourself you will make it through this and thrive you drive the car of life ....be active....find adventures....watch the sunset and watch it rise......find a new normal.....find enjoyment in the simplest of things around you we live in an amazing world and it is sitting there for you to discover it any way you can.....Dream and chase your dreams....DIABETES does not define you it is only a small part of you....

So I am where you are very newly diagnosed, more ****** about it then anything it has been just 5 weeks of this for me......always had normal A1c and glucose levels, was not feeling well and had quit eating and was insanely thirsty for a week when suddenly grape juice became airborne.....I went to emergency room thinking I had a bug of some sort.....praying it was not Covid......DKA Diabetic ketoacidosis......Glucose at 820 and the search began for a critical care unit bed while an Ambulance waited for one to open in the 5 hospitals in the town to take me to it because our hospitals are full............I am 58 years old and have a BMI of 30 so delightfully chubby and yet super active. I left the hospital taking 60 units of insulin every 24 hours split across a 12 hour period......Everyone was surprised I made it to 58 without a diabetes diagnosis because they said I was a severe diabetic to have resulted in DKA and originally they told me DKA was a Type 1 problem,...but subsequent testing calls it type 2 and my peptides are normal too. The way I see it, I have a problem that I have to have a new normal and figure out because I plan on living life to the fullest the alternative sucks.....I plan on living and living well.....well is not defined by the food I consume but by the relationships I have, the relationships I make, the adventures I have, the ability to thrive, the joys of the simplest things, and the wonder of the universe, learning new things, trying new things........living a full life was never defined by food.......we need to fuel our bodies to live........you and I just have to adjust what we eat to fuel our bodies and get a little help from insulin or alterations to our diets..

While I am at it there are so many amazing foods that will fit within a Diabetic diet..you have to search for them and google...create some amazing recipes and share with your friends.....trust me on this one I like food you just have to alter ingredients a bit....

You got this !! It will be ok !!! There is an amazing world for you, you just have to chase after it !! Diabetes does not define you !!! There is a way forward and every day is a new day !!! Speak to people, have no shame and guilt make life happen and add new people to your tribe that know what you are dealing with !!! Talk to professionals when you feel defeated and isolated and vulnerable.......keep your mind healthy too.......find new adventures and find positives every day !!! You got this !!! Breathe and always move forward !!

 

[klh63]

I told work too, I have super scary lows very often and alot of adjustments have been being made as this is all new...I found most are just worried about me and often ask if I have checked my blood......I happened to go down to 50 the other day and my coworker grabbed her desk and jumped up and said "what do you need me to do." she was ready to help....I just needed to drink orange juice and suck on candy.....some people will be scared because they dont know if they will have to help you.....some people will want to jump in and help you......and some stand back......its life.....I have had a coworker become critically ill one day, you get them help, one of my coworkers has a pacemaker in and heart troubles, one passes out sometimes and they have not figured out why, things happen the guy with the pacemaker has to stay away from some of our equipment........YOU BE YOU, THE WORLD WILL ADJUST !!!

 

[KatMac1]

Hi @KatMac1 -how are you feeling now. I hope that you continue to read and post on the forum- you have already been introduced to some great people and seen how awesome and supportive people can be.

Good luck and I hope things are feeling a little bit better.

I really am so grateful for everyone taking the time to reply and try to help and reassure me. Honestly, when you're feeling pretty **** it means a lot.

I'm not gonna lie and say everything is great now, because it's just not and I don't think it will be for a long time but as long as I'm distracted (i.e. at work), I think I'm ok. I live by myself and don't really have friends/family nearby, so evenings and weekends are a bit harder. I'm just trying my best to not think about it too much, cause it just makes me upset and feel worse (though it's easier said than done, especially with my brain!).

I am definitely doing better than I was a couple of days ago though. Again, thank you everyone Xxx

 

[MrsA2]

Being on your own can be tough.
There's usually someone here on the forum most times. We are all learning, all the time.

if you prefer talking, did you know you can self refer for therapy? ie avoiding the gp, appointments and all that hassle.
Just Google cbt and your area and it should come up. They offer a range of methods these days, phone, typed etc. Face to face appointments tend to be quite a way off..

And just for a chat, any time you are feeling low or alone theres Samaritans 116 123
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Diabetes, whatever the kind, is not a death sentence. It can be managed and controlled. And learned about. I'm fitter and healthier now than I was at diagnosis, and know I can continue with it. I hope you get to that point too, but there's no rush. (((Hugs)))

 

[klh63]

See if there is a local support group that meets where you can be with people that understand what you are feeling...can make some local friends and have a support team in your area.

I get it on the living alone...me too !! I try to be upbeat and positive and my own cheerleader, I tend to try and be other peoples cheerleader as well, but I understand what you are saying. I do have family close, but I live rural and alone . But try and remain positive and hang in there, it will get better.

 

[KatMac1]

Ok so..... Another quick update - the consultant phoned today (I sadly missed the call as I was at work, but he left a voicemail). He's said that although my anti-bodies are negative, my 'bio-chemical markers' (I assume c-peptide) indicate that I am type 1. So I'm now classed as auto-antibody negative type 1 and my treatment will remain the same i.e. insulin.

Not sure exactly how to feel about this - but I guess it means I just continue as I have been. I think I am actually a bit relieved to just finally have an answer, rather than constantly worrying either way.

 

[EllieM]

Not sure exactly how to feel about this - but I guess it means I just continue as I have been. I think I am actually a bit relieved to just finally have an answer, rather than constantly worrying either way.

If you need insulin then you need insulin. Having the T1 label on your records should mean that you are slightly more eligible for NHS goodies (cgms, pumps, treatment by hospital instead of GP etc) than the T2 label, (assuming you are in the UK).

It's quite common for new diabetics to go through a honeymoon period where they need less injected insulin for a while, so it's not surprising if your insulin needs are a little variable at the moment.

Good luck, and welcome to being an official member of the T1 club.