how do you accept it?

[claymic]

I am so upset today. I have read a few posts here about people who have not accepted their diabetes and have paid a big price. I have been diagnosed for nearly 7 years now during which I had a couple of years of good control and the rest really bad. Now that I am trying to get back on track I am realising that I have never accepted the fact that I am diabetic and this post is not about self pity...its just about sharing how I feel.

During the last seven years I had my share of really tough times I had to go through and diabetes was the one thing that I could forget about. Diabetes just makes me feel like it is another thing I need to deal with and try to survive. And part of me feels like....I dont want to spend the rest of my life having to go from one battle to the other.....but normality is something that I think I will never achieve....and in the meantime time goes by....

I am not stupid...I know what it means to ignore being diabetic and I want to do something about it.... but today I am just upset....about all the testing, the problems, not being able to eat stuff, not being able to do things spontaneously like falling pregnant.....its just its never ending.... so how do i make my peace with it all!

 

[catherinecherub]

Hi claymic,
I know what you mean. I am 9 years in and you still have to deal with the trials and tribulations that life throws at you as well as the diabetes. Some people seem to have more trials and tribulations than others.

I watch the newbies come here, bewildered, lost and understanding very little about Type2. They gradually ask more questions and get a better understanding of how to manage it. It takes a while but they do manage to get to grips with the basics. I count myself lucky that my introduction to diabetes was managed very well by the HCP's involved and I was allowed test strips.

Then there are those who have managed to find a way forward after a few months and they are elated, like to share their findings with others and it shows. They are only perhaps a few months in and it is still new to them. They are not bogged down with the daily grind yet and why should they be?

I find that now and again it hits home that this is it. There is no turning back, no letting up, no enjoying some of the foods that others take for granted. This has to be the way if I do not want to succumb to complications although there is still no guarantee that something will not happen to me.

When I feel like this I read an article that I have kept and it does help me come to terms with it all. It doesn't mean that I would rather be a diabetic, it means that I will try and cope. In the process of learning I have also learned things about myself that I never thought mattered and some have been a revelation, more to do with the psychological aspect.

Here it is,
DIABETES EMOTIONAL ISSUES.
http://www.diabetesexplained.com/diabet ... ssues.html

You are not alone, many of us feel like you do from time to time.

Hope this helps.

Take care,

CC.

 

[Pneu]

I can only re-iterate what Catherine has said... The hardest thing about diabetes is not the control or the testing or injecting or whatever else! but the relentlessness of the beast... every day from now until the end! Sometimes it can be really disheartening..

I think you just have to accept that someday's are going to be bad and some days worse! but start each new day a fresh..

 

[chocoholicnomore]

That's a really good article Catherine.

Thanks for posting it . I've added it to my favourites so I can read it whenever I feel the need.

 

[anna29]

Hi...
To be very 'honest' I dont really 'accept' it ...
But have learned to 'cope' with it ...
Its here to stay, never gives us a day off from it nor a holiday from it too... duh... :crazy:
Best way to adjust is to find the easiest way and routine for you to 'cope' with it.
Soon it WILL feel, more like its a part of you and your everyday life will chug along nicely with it walking to 'your' steps!
This is when you will find /feel you're in control of 'it' and 'it' isnt in control of you !!!
It does take time, effort, and the right routine for YOU...
Hope this helps?
Anna.x

 

[Glados]

Catherine's link is great, because it highlights the relentless nature of the fight against diabetes and related complications. I found it a good warning about where I am on the emotional timeline and what may be to come.

I'm a diabetes newbie, so I'm in that bit of the fight that has (after the initial shock) lots of rewarding progress. Working out a suitable diet, using my novel new BG monitor, marching around wearing a pedometer... It has almost been fun. My blood-sugar levels look great, I've lost 1 stone (so far) and look/feel better for it. Good stuff for now - but it doesn't end, does it? I'm sure it gets old fast.

But, whatever. I tell myself there is no point in wanting to eat things I can't have... I literally block them from my list of possibilities. I tell myself that I'm getting positive benefits from this too, such as a major incentive to keep the weight off at last (normally my weight is up and down like Ryan Giggs's underpants). I remind myself that my burden, of not being able to eat everything I want to, is nothing compared to the suffering of those who don't have enough to eat (or to feed their kids).

And yeah, I get totally peed off too. It's normal, I'm sure, innit? :think:

 

[Daibell]

The good thing is that on special occasions you can let your hair down a bit and eat more than normal. Yes, the BS will shoot up but not for too long. The important thing is that it's only for special occasions otherwise there will be longterm damage. With the growing number of T2s I'm hoping that there is increasing pressure on food suppliers to keep the carbs down; let competition work!

 

[ladybird64]

I haven't accepted it, I still cannot get my head around the "lifelong" aspect of it.

But..that doesn't mean I do nothing about it. I have had other "issues", more of a psychological nature for a very long time, I ignored them too and battled on even though they ruled my life.
Finally I have accepted that I have these issues, have always had them, will always have them and you know what? It's ok, I can live with them...but I am no longer ruled BY them.

My diabetes is the same, there is that part of my psyche that refuses to accept that I will have this for the rest of my days so I don't look too far ahead. I take one day at a time, learn as much as I can about my condition (here on the forum) and make small steps to help myself come to terms with it. Some people can launch themselves wholeheartedly into the battle but I'm not one of them, it is dangerous for me to do so as the higher I go, the lower I fall. Gradual acceptance is coming though, I am making the changes that I need to make at my own pace.

So it's a daily process. Don't look back at what you did before, what went wrong etc..so much time is wasted on fruitless self examination and self criticism and it gets us nowhere.

Life is full of hard times and a lot of what seems to be unfairness. We can't change that but we can change how we treat ourselves and our health and to quote that awful advert "we're worth it".

One day at a time, yeah? x

 

[Unbeliever]

I had great problems comig to terms wih it. The medicaion made me very ill and only quite recently ,after five years , have I started to feel better. I was otally appalled by the ignorance and he uncaring aitude of many - but no all -of the HCPs I encountered and last but noy=t leas he medication brought on retinopahy and inappropriate treatment of he reinopahy caused macular oedema for which I am still being reated and must avaerage a visit to he hosptal every 2 weeks. At presen it is every week.
I think it did hit me right away that this was for life . It has always been my greatest fear that I would suffer from a chronic illness which would have me at the "mercy" of a GP Pracice and a "specialis " nurse but it has happened.
People assume that the somewhat grisly-sounding procedures of my eye reatmen would be the wors hing but no. It is being at the beck and call of disorgaised inefficien and ignorant HCPs.

My daugher reently mentioned my condiion o a colleague who is pre-diabetic. The colleague -who has obviously had occasion to consider the matter remarked that it mus be very difficul to always be awaiting the next appointment , ext procedure , net test. My daughter realised hat she had never seen it in that way before. although I have often ried o wxplain.

Reading this forum smetimes I feel ashamed o complain or feel sorry for myself when I read of people here dealig wih muliple condiions of which diabetes is sometimes the least. Or reading about the young children who face daily injections or the young people who have never known anyhing else.

here is a great deal of ignorance about diabetes and a tendency to try to push it under the carpet
and downplay its effecs.It is in all our interests to make others aware of the condition whenever we can. I believe that the increase in numbers diagnose will lead to new treatments When I was at he hospital the oher day I heard that eve though NICE had refused o fund Lucenis they have agreed o fund seroid implants which will be more cost effecive and allow greater numbers of people to be treated. The reament of diabetic eye disease has improved in many ways even in th epast few years.
Who knows what other treatments will be inroduced for complicaions and the disease itself?

Yes , it IS diffficul bu - mosy of the ime- here are worse things.

 

[claymic]

thanks guys...really...i have had to do the take it day by day thing....i know what i need to do.... from today I am starting properly testing...will post the numbers tomorrow... it is not going to be pretty

 

[didie]

I'm fairly new to all this as well, having been diagnosed in July 2011.

That's a really good link CC - thank you

I accepted it from the start because no matter what, I'm now a diabetic and my attitude was just to get on with it - onwards and upwards has always been my mantra in life. I'm lucky to have been diagnosed early and quite honestly it was a relief after my stroke because I was terrified that I had cardiac or high blood pressure problems and that I was going to die.

It has become a way of life now with exercising at least twice a day being built into my previously very sedentary life and I am much happier and fitter than I was before I was diagnosed. I set myself challenges and I have a list of things that I have to do - some really small things and other larger goals which won't be achieved for years to come. I'm a person who always needs goals to work towards.

 

[WhitbyJet]

I struggled for years, found it very hard to achieve control of my bg levels, Hb1ac in double figures (12.4 was my highest), plenty of meds, no energy, drowsy, depressed, thrush, infections, the works, no matter what I tried to improve things, nothing worked and I was convinced that I was going to die early.
I was resentful, the only one in the family with this disease, they could eat treacle tart and roly poly with lashings of custard and suffered no after effects.
Eventually complications started, it was frightening, someone told me to look at low carb, hmmm, the penny dropped, carby, starchy foods mean high bg, boring salads and ham mean good bg, but I missed nice food.
So started my search for recipes, I adapted recipes to make them low carb, I searched the web high and low for ideas, got my family involved, it was a new beginning.

Today, I am perfectly happy, I eat lovely food, so ok no more roly polys or treacle tarts, but there are so many other treats that I can have on a low carb diet I can honestly say that I dont miss any of the foods that used to make me ill.

In an odd way I consider myself to be lucky to be diabetic, it forced me to address bad eating habits, forced me to increase activity levels, and if I really do have a disease then I think diabetes is a pretty good deal as at least its a disease that I can gain some control over.

If I ever receive any boxes of chocolates or similar gifts I appreciate the gesture but I throw them in the bin, I used to pass them on to others, but now I think that I dont want to upset anyone's pancreas, these things are pure poison to me.

I still look for new recipes all the time, but I dont think so much about diabetes any more, its part of my life like brushing teeth and combing hair, I feel good and healthy despite having an incurable, chronic disease.

 

[Gappy]

ok, I have a lifelong condition but it don't bother me in fact I have a lot to thank it for. It was the wake up call i needed to get myself in some sort of shape. I'm fitter and more confident than ever i'm friends with a lovely girl, got myself a job and life i'd better than ever, my last reading at docs was 5.6-be positive it's probably made my life not ruined it

 

[mandydowns]

I am so glad that I am not alone - been dignosed for around 3 years now - was so good at first but now I have bad depression which has made me live as if I dont have diabetes..food choices terrible and sometimes I dont take medication. I dont want sympathy - just wish that I didn't have this - tested blood this morning and was 19.
Gone off to work trying not to think about it - if I do I get really scared.
GP treating me for depression just looks across the table and gives me more antidepresants.
I admire all of you who have this thing under control, but I just dont have the energy any more.
I guess it has just hit home that this is for life - even this confuses me when I read about 'cures' - dont know what to believe any more.

 

[wiggles12]

Hi there,

I am a Diabetic Type 1 for 30 years now got it when I was 15 years old, I must admit there are times when I wish I didnt have it, as I also have got Multiple Sclerosis 20 years ago and this is starting to degenerate quite badly now, but I wanted to say that I rejected Diabetes a lot when I was younger, then got back on track well, it is basically a up and down procedure that you cannot take for granted I found, I have always tried to look after myself and eat healthily, watch my weight, and feel that this has helped me over the years. But there are still times when I hate being Diabetic and soon manage to get over it, as my Nan always told me there is always someone out there worse off than you and I think at least it is not visible to see that you have got Diabetes and people treat you as "normal". What I wanted to say is that I feel that there is a lot more help out there now for newly diagnosed people, but people like me do sometimes get forgotten and still need to be updated on changes and new things out there.

 

[pearl]

Diagnosed 20 years ago. Progressed to Insulin 10 years ago. Non of this came as asurprise to me, Diabetes is in my genes. I used to see my mother injecting my Grandmother from when I was a small child. 75 now. So learn to live with it, you,re still alive, enjoy each day.

 

[libbyAPRIL]

I struggled for many years about my diabetes and still dont understand why i feel ery old and have been a carer all my life now due to diabetic neropathy severly to the point of needing morphine I am needing help I feel iv had my life taken away from me, some days I hate life, my gp and diabetes nurse say im late onset of type 1 so not sure if im type 1 or 2

 

[nappa]

Hello everyBuddy, how do you accept it?
I've been here a while but this is my first post, hope I'm not hijacking a thread!
I was extremely ill last year after returning from a trip to Thailand on a family get together. Infact I lost a couple of weeks of my life & was then diagnosed with Type 2.
It was a relief for me, at last after 3 weeks I had something to cling on to.

But am I in denial?
I don't know!
I feel no different than before I was dignosed, I still walk daily, I've always eaten sensibly, whole grain & fresh produce, I'm 65 & only have a glass of beer3 or 4 times a year, I do not smoke. I get no tingles notice no problems.

I retired two years back & have put on weight which I'm now working to lose.
The big problem I find about diabetes is the conflicting information when I was trying to learn more.
I spent hours trying to find out the best lifestyle for me & it looked like the life style I already had was the right one except with more exercising..... But no more Gin & limes which were all to easy to drink all day long in Thailand!
At my last consultation I was told everything was back to normal I go again next week.
The only problem I seem to have is high eye pressure which I'm taking medication for.

 

[jgibson1962]

I've been diagnosed Type 1 since last July, a mere sprog compared to some of you guys, i guess getting it so late in life at the age of 49 is a kind of blessing, but i have accepted it and put a positive slant on it. For instance i think jabbing myself with the pen is no big deal, once the fear of injecting yourself is overcome, its a piece of cake and i view it in the same way i would take for example hay fever tablets. The big thing really is to re-learn your body, learn what carbs are, the more input you can have the more you add to your armoury until it becomes second nature. Although quite frankly i am p*****d off actually having the disease, i am thankful it is diabetes and not cancer or heart disease.

An interesting thought, if society broke down through war, anarchy, Zombie holocaust or something similar, how would a diabetic survive?

 

[princess1980]

hi im leanne im type 1, I have been diabetic for around 7 years i don,t think i don,t i have accept it fully until now I still have high sugers not as bad as when i was 1st diagonsed and some low ones along with nerve damage witch makes it harder so all in all no i don,t accept it x