Type 1 Facing Discrimination, Help Needed

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7
Hi Everyone,
I'm a long-term (42 years) Type 1. Have always thought I was managing OK but couldn't get my Hba1s to a decent level. Recently attended a course through my local hospital that completely opened my eyes and within weeks managed to get my Hba down from 9 to 7.3. Brilliant.
Unfortunately I have been going through hell this past year. My youngest daughter now aged 7 ½ was stolen from me last July by Social Services. I have been battling through the horrific Family Court system to have her returned to me. The Local Authority claim I have and will harm her in the future. I know this to be untrue but that is a matter for another forum.
I am only allowed to see her during supervised contact sessions. My contact with her has been steadily reduced to 3 hours per month. At my last contact, she asked me if she could test her blood sugar. I had taken my kit out to check my levels, as I have done many times before without any questions being raised. I had told her that the finger prick might hurt a little bit but she didn't mind. I have 2 teenage daughters who both had asked me at around the same age to test their blood and we had done this, to their great delight and amusement. I turned the clicker to the lowest setting and used the least sensitive finger.
However when I was about to do this to my daughter during the contact session, the supervisor, an interfering judgmental busybody who reports everything I do and say to the social workers, told me that she thought this was "very inappropriate" and I couldn't do it. My daughter was visibly annoyed, stomping her feet and making a face. I told her I was sorry and that she should never think there was anything wrong with someone being diabetic.
I have now received an email from a social worker telling me she is "seriously concerned that I tried to test my daughter's blood". Under no circumstances am I to do this again, and I now apparently have to leave the room to test my sugars. I have told her that it is discrimination to force a diabetic to leave a room to do anything, but haven't had a response. I am going to contact Diabetes UK to confirm that this is in fact legal discrimination as the contact session is a service provided by the local council.
In the meantime however, I wonder if there is anyone who has children that are non-diabetics but like my daughter curious about testing, who have let them try it with no harm or dire consequences, who would be willing to send me an email telling me just that and wondering about how anyone is in a position to decide that this is inappropriate or not.

I need this urgently as am intending on pursuing this legally if possible and want as much hard evidence as possible.

Many thanks in advance,

Maria
 
C

catherinecherub

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I don't think that a forum is the best place to deal with this.

We do not know the facts concerning what has happened in the past. I would say that quite a few people in the general public would think it was an unnecessary act to test your daughter's blood sugars, even though she wanted you to, so you have to bear in mind that there are subjective and objective views on what has happened. Some would see it as a painful process Personally, I would not have attempted to do it as it could have repercussions given the environment that you were in and this clearly is what has happened. It would seem that they are asking you to test your blood sugars away from your daughter for her safety. Whether this is right or wrong can only be determined with someone with more experience of this type of thing.

Diabetes.org.uk are the best people to help you with this one IMHO
 
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Amda I get a message saying I can't access private messages.
Could you email me on [mod edit daisy1: email address removed. You have 5 posts now so you can access private messages]
I'm really mystified as to how testing in front of my daughter would jeopardise her safety in any way. This seems so ignorant of what we have to do regularly to stay healthy.
 
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freedomforcerys said:
Amda I get a message saying I can't access private messages.
Could you email me on [mod edit] please

I'm really mystified as to how testing in front of my daughter would jeopardise her safety in any way. This seems so ignorant of what we have to do regularly to stay healthy.

Hello James I am a bit confussed by who was being tested. You got your meter out to test yourself :?: and then your daughter wanted you to prick her finger and test her? that is how I am reading it, is that correct? and in the past, your other daughters have been tested as well. Theres nothing wrong in that, but I would not put a sharp needle into my childs finger under supervision by a social worker who is watching your every move, not a good thing to do I'm afraid, hence the reprecussions. My child has asked me test them a few times, which I have done, because my child is interested about my diabetes and wants to know what their BS is reading is. Also if I needed to test my BS, there and then, I would of said to the SW that I am going to test because I am a diabetic or have diabetes. I hope your future is a happy one. With best wishes.
 

ladybird64

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I have to agree with Catherine on this, I'm sure you understand that as this is a child protection issue (the description you have given us seems to point to this) it isn't clear cut and the public forum isn't the place to resolve it.

I think what I can safely say is that the initial problem they had was not with you testing, it was with you agreeing to test your daughter, that is what has started the ball rolling. Given your position at present, it might be better to try and discuss with the SW or the SW's line manager and any other involved individuals why they feel there is a risk involved or what their objections were, then you can state your belief that you have had discriminatory treatment and why you feel this is so.

Nothing wrong in asking Diabetes UK for their opinion either.

I wish you and your daughter well. :)
 
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am going to ask Diabetes UK but wanted to get other replies as well.
It wasn't in front of a social worker. It was with a nosy interfering supervisor. The week before she'd asked me in front of a different supervisor who had no issue with it whatsoever.
I'm truly puzzled as to how if you say that you also have done this with your own children and see nothing harmful with it, why this would be seen as "child protection" or a need to hide it from a social worker. This basically implies that although this probably happens with many parents and their children, it has to be hidden from SS because they won't approve even though we feel it's OK and educational?
I never fail to be baffled by how people think their opinions can be used as facts.
Thank you for your replies.
 
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freedomforcerys said:
am going to ask Diabetes UK but wanted to get other replies as well.
It wasn't in front of a social worker. It was with a nosy interfering supervisor. The week before she'd asked me in front of a different supervisor who had no issue with it whatsoever.
I'm truly puzzled as to how if you say that you also have done this with your own children and see nothing harmful with it, why this would be seen as "child protection" or a need to hide it from a social worker. This basically implies that although this probably happens with many parents and their children, it has to be hidden from SS because they won't approve even though we feel it's OK and educational?
I never fail to be baffled by how people think their opinions can be used as facts.
Thank you for your replies.

Hi again, opinions are just that , opinions. I used the wrong word of SW instead of supervisor, apologies. You did mention that the reason you are having supervised contact is because of accusations? that you may hurt your child. James, a finger pricking device is sharp, it has a needle. So testing my child, if they want to is fine, but not under supervised contact. I understand feelings and emotions are running high, if you post on a forum then people will give their views/opinions. Somethings things are written that we dont want to see or agree with, but I do wish you and your daughter a happy outcome.
 
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Darn, posted a reply but it didn't show.
I'm not called James, don't know where that was?
I'm still puzzled about why you say testing a child is fine but not in supervised contact. If it's fine then it's fine. Anywhere. It's up to the diabetic parent to decide to do it or not, not one supervisor while a different one is completely OK about it.
It really is saying my opinion is so perfect that I can force it on someone else.
Which is kind of scary.
Thanks for your reply.
 

lucylocket61

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The week before she'd asked me in front of a different supervisor who had no issue with it whatsoever.

Is there a reason why you need to test you blood during a visit to your daughter? Perhaps the supervisor was concerned about the lancet being removed and replaced with a fresh one for your child to use, in front of your child. You dont say if there are other children present and why your child wants to have her blood tested both this week and last week.

I really think people here would like to help you with constructive advice, but we cant. We are just a support group of fellow diabetics, and are not in your shoes.

The only think it appears you can do is get some advice on how to take this issue further, and that means contacting someone like DiabetesUK who have trained specialist advisor's who may be able to point you in the right direction to move forward with this.

Best wishes, I hope you can get this issue resolved.
 
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Robinredbreast said:
freedomforcerys said:
Amda I get a message saying I can't access private messages.
Could you email me on [email address removed]

I'm really mystified as to how testing in front of my daughter would jeopardise her safety in any way. This seems so ignorant of what we have to do regularly to stay healthy.

Hello James I am a bit confussed by who was being tested. You got your meter out to test yourself :?: and then your daughter wanted you to prick her finger and test her? that is how I am reading it, is that correct? and in the past, your other daughters have been tested as well. Theres nothing wrong in that, but I would not put a sharp needle into my childs finger under supervision by a social worker who is watching your every move, not a good thing to do I'm afraid, hence the reprecussions. My child has asked me test them a few times, which I have done, because my child is interested about my diabetes and wants to know what their BS is reading is. Also if I needed to test my BS, there and then, I would of said to the SW that I am going to test because I am a diabetic or have diabetes. I hope your future is a happy one. With best wishes.

My mistake on your name,it must be the email address name james that I used. With best wishes.
 

daisy1

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freedomforcerys said:
Amda I get a message saying I can't access private messages.
Could you email me on [email address removed]

You have written 5 posts so you can use Private Messaging System now. Email address removed for your security.
 

Scoop4

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My oldest daughter was two when I was diagnosed and my youngest has only know me as being diabetic. It's natural for children to want to be like there parents like when my daughters used to want wear my make up and play dress up with my clothes. There is a safety aspect with the sharps but I think it is natural that your daughter want to experience some of what you go through it something that I did with my children but it also came with the instructions of what they shouldn't do themselves. I think that it was part of my children's life education to know about my diabetes and my care. Because it is something that they have grown up with they are more accepting of it. I cannot believe that this is an issue its not like you were holding her down and forcing her to have her blood sugar taken
 
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Scoop4 said:
My oldest daughter was two when I was diagnosed and my youngest has only know me as being diabetic. It's natural for children to want to be like there parents like when my daughters used to want wear my make up and play dress up with my clothes. There is a safety aspect with the sharps but I think it is natural that your daughter want to experience some of what you go through it something that I did with my children but it also came with the instructions of what they shouldn't do themselves. I think that it was part of my children's life education to know about my diabetes and my care. Because it is something that they have grown up with they are more accepting of it. I cannot believe that this is an issue its not like you were holding her down and forcing her to have her blood sugar taken
Thank you so much for your post. You echo my thoughts exactly. I wanted her to understand what it means that her mother has this condition. I would never ever force any child to test their sugars- that would be absurd. The lancets are so well designed now that for me there is no safety or risk involved, just the slight scratch when used on the lowest setting. She gets hurt more when she goes on a trampoline and gives herself a black eye.
I'm pursuing the discrimination issue regarding going into another room. I have no intention of hiding it from my daughter. That would be saying to her that diabetes is something shameful that needs to be hidden.
The fact that various people have differing views on this provies that it really is just an opinion. therefore an interfering supervisor who thinks it's wrong really has no right to try to stop me from doing something with my own child. It's just her opinion.
 

Scoop4

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Following my previous post. I stand by what I have just said but as I don't know why you are in the position you are with child services, I can only say from my point of view that children should be protected but they should also be given instruction on how to live nobody has said about diabetes not being hereditary I want my children to know things safely. Am going to stop now as am on my soap box. Good luck with your daughter.
 
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Scoop4 said:
Following my previous post. I stand by what I have just said but as I don't know why you are in the position you are with child services, I can only say from my point of view that children should be protected but they should also be given instruction on how to live nobody has said about diabetes not being hereditary I want my children to know things safely. Am going to stop now as am on my soap box. Good luck with your daughter.
Not quite sure what your soapbox is. I agree children need protection but we all have differing ideas as to what will harm them and what will teach them. It's a personal choice that social services think they can dictate about and frequently do, in the most belligerent manner imaginable.
I'm confused about the bit about diabetes being hereditary?
 

ladybird64

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I am just going to reiterate what I said in my first post as it seems there are two issues that need to be addressed.

Firstly you have given us information (as is your right) that your child is no longer living with you. The initial issue seemed to be that there was concern that you were going to test your daughter needlessly which is when this "supervisor" stepped in.

Then there is the completely seperate issue of you beng told that you have to leave the room to test yourself.

Given the fact that you have had a previous supervised visit where you did not have to leave the room, then it has to be raised with SS why the goal posts are changing.

Now that you can receive PM's, hopefully you will get the replies you need. I honestly don't think this is the place to discuss whether SS are in the wrong or not, given the circumstances you yourself have explained to us.
 

Scoop4

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The reason why I mentioned about diabetes may or may not be hereditary is that if my children have any kind of chance of going through any of the things that I have had to go through I am educating them if it did happen they wouldn't have to go through the kinds of things I went through as I had never even heard of diabetes as there is no one in my family with it. Even if there isn't any chance of it happening to them they would not be as ignorant as some of the people I have had to put up with over the 17 year. Also my soap box is what I stand on when I go on and on about diabetes I can be a bit over the top when I spout off. I also agree this maybe isn't the place to put down social service or their practises.