Hi
Of course you are scared and anxious. It is a very difficult condition to come to terms with. My advice would be not to expect to get over it anytime soon and to give yourself permission to take as long as you need to adjust to the new direction your lives have taken. I took over a year to really feel accepting of my son's condition after he was diagnosed at age 11 (Yr 7 of primary school). I'm sure people around me thought that it was 'old news' a matter of weeks after my son came out of hospital, but for me the reality was that it took a long while for the whole family to recover.
My son is now 16 years old and very happy and healthy. His diabetes rarely causes him any issue at all. My fears that his future would be 'ruined' were rather more extreme than I now realise. The most difficult thing we find is to do anything new for the first time - whether it be a Birthday Party, Christmas, a swimming trip, a new sport, sleepover - whatever it may be is very daunting for the first time and you can easily convince yourself that its better for your child to avoid such things and that you would rather these events weren't happening!. However, for us we have found that repeatedly taking on new challenges just increases your confidence each time - so I would say to get on and have your child take part in whatever they would have done if they were without the condition, but just plan for the extra care and supervision on top.
My son now behaves exactly like any other 16 year old. Everyone around him knows of his condition and he has a full support network in place for everything he does - but he isn't weighed down by it all. Last month, he got a moped just as he would have done if he didn't have T1. Its scary for sure, but every day that he rides it, I feel a little less freaked out - and that's the same for all his activities and adventures. But to get to this stage we had to allow him to ride a pedal bike to secondary school before that, and to walk to primary school before that - its just a case of building up to the bigger stuff gaining more confidence as you go! Earlier this year, he went walking up Snowdon and next year he is off with the school to Berlin for a week. I am now beginning to contemplate that he will go away to university - wheareas at one time, I imagined I would have to shadow him for his whole life to protect him!
I also had visions of my son being in and out of hospital and taking ambulance rides. We've been fortunate that it hasn't been the case at all. If I had known back at diagnosis, what I know now - I would not have been so desperately destroyed by the diagnosis. Although, I will always wish things had been different.
There is a huge community of parents of children with diabetes who you may find helpful. There are Facebook Groups and CWD (Children with Diabetes) all of whom will talk to you about each and every detail of having a child with T1 - and to give you instant support with those little worries you will be having, or just to listen to your rants when things aren't going so well!
Take care.