mother of 18yr old type1 and need help

[alice2380]

hi,my son was diagnose type1 at 16yr old which was a big shock to him and our family and I must admit I have been in denial thinking he was misdiagnosed.Anyway to start with he was very good with testing but this only last 3mths and there has been a steady decline since.drinking,eating junk food,basically having a blood sugar 20plus.he has ended up in hospital on three occasions.Yesterday he went to his diabetic dr(after missing numerous appointment)and dr has basically shocked him saying he will die young if he doesn't get sorted.fingers crossed this has prompted him to try and control.The problem is that he is 6ft and 16stone.he eats a huge amount of food all day.I am going to try and take over his meals but have no idea what to give him to keep him full and sugars down.A normal day for him is.breakfast - 2 porridge sachets with banana or two bacon sarnies,lunch he will have 2 sandwiches,2 chocolate bars,2 packets of crisp and pot noodle.He snacks on these all day at work(quite active job).evening will be family meal-spaghetti Bol,pasta or meat and two veg.Then after we go to bed he seems to snack on 5 choccie biscuits or cereal. I'm embarrased writing down the amount of **** he eats but I am determined to give him better alternatives.Please Please can anyone help in meal/packed lunch suggestions that he can have that will keep him full and he can eat a lot of.I work full time so don't have a lot of time to prepare foods but will make batches at night time to help him if needed.
thankyou

 

[carb-counting-mum]

Hi,

My little girl was only recently diagnosed type 1, so I am not sure if I am qualified to give advice as such. I can only tell you what the diabetes nurse advised us, and so far this seems to work for her. Everyone is different though.
We give her normal low fat, high fibre meals, but each one will have (slow release) carbs in. Usually about 40-55g per meal. But she's only little (8), your son with his busy job might need more? I dunno. Slow release carbs will convert to glucose slowly, keeping blood sugars steadier than fast release carbs (simple sugars in fizzy drinks/sweets etc). A typical breakfast for my girl would be 2 weetabix with semi-skimmed milk (no sugar added), with perhaps a few raisins. Or porridge with grated apple and cinnamon to sweeten. Lunch, wholemeal bread/ pitta/wrap, some fruit, a low-sugar yoghurt. Dinner might be a jacket potato with baked beans and cheese or tuna pasta bake with a salad. If my girl is really hungry but her blood sugars are a little on the high side, I might give her more protein with her meals or snacks (fish/meat/cheese/eggs) as proteins won't affect her blood sugar. She gets small slow-release snacks in between meals to give her glucose levels steady. 15g carbs in each (so maybe 2 small oat biscuits, a bag of snack-a-jacks, some grapes).
I think your son needs a lot of support from his diabetes team, perhaps a visit to the dietician, have another look at his insuline regime etc. I hope it gets sorted soon, sounds really difficult for you. Best of luck.

 

[alice2380]

thankyou very much for taking the time to reply to my post.I have been reading up all morning on the posts on here and it seems the way to go is low carb diet or low fat.Being a hungry teen I'm thinking low carb is the best way.he will still be able to have a chicken kebab for a treat from takeaway just not chips.plus I could fill him up on meat.It is very hard and I am struggling with him.When he was first diagnose he wouldn't take any advice from us and just carried on as normal but would randomly inject himself without checking blood sugars.He convinced us he was going ok and we should stop nagging.I feel terribly guilty as I just trusted him and backed off.when really I should have carried on nagging and shown him what he can and can't eat.Thankfully not to late to turn it around and with him being that bit older is more likely to take it seriously.Its been difficult enough him being diagnose at 16,god knows how you cope when your daughter is only 8yrs old.Sounds like you have got it all under control though and she will grow up with a good knowledge of what she can and can't eat.

 

[noblehead]

Welcome Alice

Needless to say your lad's diet does need some tweaking and so pleased his GP has given him a stern warning of the possible consequences of uncontrolled diabetes.

Whatever changes you all make to his diet he will have to adjust his insulin to suit, therefore it would be in the best interests of you all to work with his diabetes care team whilst making these adjustments, if he is under the care of his gp then ask for a referal to the hospital diabetes clinic.

Good luck and hope all goes well!

 

[glaves_r1991]

Hi im a type 1 diabetic at age 21 I was diagnosed at 17 and by the sounds of it I went though exactly the same in total I was admitted to hospital a total of 17 times with DKA until I ended up in hospital after I fell asleep at home I woke up in intensive care then I new I had to change the thing that turned my life around was dafne course try to get your son to go on.the course eventually though if he does carry on the way he is sooner or later he will get tired of always being ill gaining every infection and possibly realise he needs to gain control. Hope this helps

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[hanadr]

Essentially with an 18 year old young man, There's not a lot you can do except show him some examples of what might happen if he coninues down a self distructive path and find some role models for him that he will rate highly. It might help him to join a young people's group.
If he's interested in sports, look up where there are diabetics in that sport. He's a legal adult and you cannot coerce him to go where he doesn't want to. If he's the type to help others, you might check with Diabetes Uk and see if ther's a role for a volunteer working with diabetic children. Tough love is more likely to work with young adult males.
It may be counter-productive for you to take over what he does. If you take control of his food, he's likely to go and get stuff elsewhere.
His only real chance of a healthy life is to take charge himself.
He probably needs a LOT of positive feedback.
Hope that helps
Hana

 

[alice2380]

thankyou all for your advice.You are right that he's 18 and I can't force him to do anything but will be trying to be a good role model.its hard for him as no one else in the family are diabetic and he is one of three children.He has to watch the other two eating what they please.Excellent advice about trying to get him talking to others the same age on a forum.I will try and suggest that tomorrow.Its a relief hearing from others that are young in age and have gone down the destructive path only to turn it around,gives me hope!.
thankyou all again

 

[elainechi]

never mind the diabetes......hes eating way too much and needs to lose alot of weight....i know insulin can make you hungry.....
start by not having junk in the house ful stop!. what about packed lunches........cut those carbs...better off with scrambled egg on 1toast for breakfast..add toms and mushroom
is there qa reason why hes suddley started eating so much...my daughter constanty snacks and got told thats what babies need but as you get older you have to learn to eat 3 x day...having said that you can tell him..be a role model and listen to any woes but he will do as he wants jus given him written infomation so when he blames you later you can reply i did my best xxxxxx

 

[donnellysdogs]

I think that the only way to try and assist your son us to actually stop purchasing choc biscuits etc, no one.. Not even non diabetics need this ****, junk food in our diets.. It's not just diabetics...
Try to get yohr whole family involved.. You cant stop him outside of your home.... But at the end of the day I am guessing that you do the majority of the food shopping?

He is overweight whether diabetic or not

Carb reducing is great.. We have fabulous roast dinners without roasties or yorkies..and honestly We dont muss them. We literally have the carbs at easter and christmas as treats...
We also have bolgnese without pasta and curries... And they are good.

Pudding wise we have a yogurt and fruit.. I love conference pears..

Still carbs from the veg and fruit and yogurt, or a sauce with currys.. But substantially less than before.

If he goes to mcdonalds.. Tell him to look at the food value lists on the back of the paper protectors on the trays... As these give carbohydrates for all their foods and I would help him if he does have big mc's!

My consultant put the fear of god in me when I was diagnosed 25+ years ago.. I was early 20's. My mum totally took over my food.... Even though I wasnt even living at home! She would bake 'diabetic cookies n cakes' which was the thing to do in those days.. She came down to my place and cleared my cupboards out whilst I was in hospital ( again different in those days,, 4 days on ward when diagnosed).

Personally, I think you have to take control of the food that you have in your house as a starter...

It will be hard though...

 

[ewelina]

It must be difficult for someone so young... I was diagnosed when I was 30 so I guess it was much easier for me to accept it. Your son must be in some kind of denial and predents that diabetes doesnt affect him. Good control is all about food we eat, carbohydrates counting and adjusting insulin doses. Its quite a lot to think about on a daily basis.
You may help your son but the true is you wont do all that hard work for him. He needs to grow up and start being responsible for himself. Role model and talking to other teenagers with diabetes is an excellent idea. Also talking to someone who would help him to change attitude to himself and diabetes would help a lot. Some therapy or counselling. I know that NHS provides some

 

[Switch2501]

I was diagnosed when I was 14 and cut out chocolate and cake pretty much completely. Now I'm 28, carb counting, on a pump and only now just starting to put weight on to my 12 stone 6'5 frame.
I eat what I want and the insulin works around me, not the other way around.

End of the day he's 18, he's going to eat a lot being a teenager, he's gonna want to have a drink with his mates and that's not going to change for the foreseeable but , you can support him. Encourage him to speak to your local diabetic team. He probably won't be interested to start with because he's in that bit in the middle of being a kid, and being a responsible adult, he's probably not going to want to deal with all of the responsibility of looking after his body, I didn't...




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[alice2380]

thankyou switch2501 for letting me know your experience and understanding on how a 18yr old thinks and consumes the entire kitchen.When he was first diagnosed the nurse basically told him carry on as usual but use insulin to cover it,right or wrong advice he took this as said and carried on eating like a non diabetic.Unfortunately he isn't skilled enough to estimate the insulin usage and I think just using the amounts that were given to him at time of diagnosis.Thd daphne course that was mentioned should help him.I will be phoning Monday to see if we can get him on it.It is a wake up call for me also as what other posts have said are true.I need to limit my weekly shop and stop buying goodies(or hide them at least )so he's not tempted in the house.Cant vouch for outside the house though but it should reduce his sugar intake by half.I am going to try a Tuna salad,low fat yoghurt,nuts and a packet of quavers for his lunch also and see how he gets on.Can he have marshmallows of pork scratching a as snacks?just thinking these will feel he's getting treats but are better for him?.

 

[phoenix]

I think just using the amounts that were given to him at time of diagnosis.Thd daphne course that was mentioned should help him.I will be phoning Monday to see if we can get him on

Meanwhile you could have a look at this online course. It covers carb counting and dose adjustment in a similar way to the DAFNE course; though doesn't of course have the important element of just being with other people who understand.
http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/
Ultimately healthy living for anyone doesn't include lots of junk food but his control is going to be a lot worse if he isn't taking appropriate insulin. 18 year old boys do have big appetites but high blood glucose levels can also raise appetite and if he has hypos then he will have to eat to raise his glucose levels (and again some people get ravenous with hypos). Getting better control may help curb his appetite a bit.

 

[Switch2501]

Also, if he does start carb counting (as a result of dafne), try and get hold of a copy of "carbs and cals" (I Forget who it's by...). It's a good guide for working out approximate carbs in a plate of food. There is also an app

I used to drive my mum mad eating the whole kitchen out... Growing lad + diabetese = empty kitchen. :-D


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[alice2380]

hello,I put a post on here a couple of days ago and had some great advice.didnt want to take advice and run so I thought I would just give an update.Well I have stuck to my word and have stripped the cupboards and bought low carb/low fat foods.His packed lunch is now consisting of a cheese wrap,water,fruit,nuts,low fat yoghurt and quavers.He has really tried to change and has been filling out the bg books,testing up to 12 times aday.He has really embraced the low carb and now snacking on meat or cheese.needless to say there has been a massive improvement on his levels.not perfect yet but 60 percent under 10,which consisering he was 20 plus all the time I am happy with the progress in two days.He is even saying that he's not using as much insulin.We are still on a learning curve.I made the moussaka that is on this sight last night and aubergines were definately not a hot but he loved the mince.Daphne course is being booked as we speak.Can I just say thankyou for all your advice.seems a kick up the bum was just what he neede.Only problem I have now is thinking what to cook him tonight???
thankyou

 

[noblehead]

Good news Alice :thumbup:

 

[elainechi]

glad things are doing better....my daughter feels less addicted to carbs when she has less of them..its a struggle for her when out with friendsor even at school.....pasta king rules there!!
but......i suggest he cooks once a week a proper meal...i plan the menu with my kids for the week and they cook once a week each and wash up!!!.
just 1little thing and thays all eating regimes have to be east to follow and be maitained....i found that we tend to wax and wane abit so just when you think yes we.ve go it ...it blows apart...but then you just have to start again....thats life...xxx

 

[vantastic.oops!]

from your first post you sound like your talking about me at that age!!

i think i can help him im 28 and was diagnosed when i was 15-16 so it was a shock to me but i thought to myself that they were wrong and i was a normal teen i constantly missed appointments and ate what i like and when i wanted! i only took my night time insulin as its lantus so i assumed taking that would makenthings better i had insulin in my body so thats all that matterd to me i felt "normal"
i was taken into hospital many times and told that i wouldnt live to see my 20th birthday if i continued going on like this but it didnt matter to me i was still in denial the complications i had were thrush that i would just put a canasten cream on and after time it would go forn few days but then come back but it was something i could deal with so nothing major! i binged ate like he does especially at night eating whatever i could find and what i ate during the day was a massive portions i thought i was ok.... how wrong was i!! i didnt see the weight i was loosing im 5ft 11 and i weighd 7 1/2 stone but i didnt see this! only untill someone pointed it out to me!
at the age of 26 i started to get overwelmed with my complications ranging from erectile disfunction, some nerve damage in my ability to feel hot and cold in my legs and loosing 8 teeth which i blame on my controll i carried on doing what i was doing but more complications developed like retrograde ejaculation affecting the ability to have children!
i started to panicband started to run low bloods taking too much insulin and being hospitalised by massive hypo's panicaly trying to fix the problems i had
from taking controll from running constant high to normal/low bm's my body paniced i was diagnosed with retinopathy in my eyes i went blind for 8months ive had surgery on my eyes and countless of laser sessions including £££ worth of avastin injections in my eyes
your son and everyone else need to realise problems develope later on but once there there they DONT go
i wish i could help more
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[AJP]

Hi, I'm a type 1 diabetic and was diagnosed at age 13 ..... 30 years ago!! I have seen many changes over the years in the treatment of type 1 but one thing has always remained constant.... good self management! No-one in my family was or ever has been a diabetic but my family have always been really supportive. It is very important that you and the rest of the family try and help and support your son by not having all that junk food in the house. It wouldn't hurt any of you to follow a more controlled lower carb, low fat way of eating, it makes for a very healthy lifestyle! Treats should be kept for special occasions! It's good that your son's doctor is starting to make him see sense but it's really important that your son learns what can and will happen to him if he doesn't get his diabetes under control... to put it bluntly, he'll die but probably only after loads of horrible complications!! Try and encourage him to do as much research as possible, as the saying goes "knowledge is power"! The better his control, the better he will feel. It will also mean that he won't have to continually use very high doses of insulin to try reduce his high blood glucose levels. After 30 years, one thing I know for sure, the more insulin you use the more you want to eat and the hungrier you feel so by managing your insulin intake you won't need to eat as much and you won't feel continually hungry. Your son needs to control his diabetes and not let it control him and that means getting his mind in the right place. As a teenager I found joining groups very helpful and supportive. I haven't had a completely perfect 30 years, there have been a few issues along the way but I've played sport, I've traveled extensively, I've studied and worked continuously and have had 2 successful pregnancies resulting in 2 lovely daughters, neither of whom has diabetes. Good luck, I hope things work out for your son.

 

[JontyW]

That sounds really encouraging .. well done so far!

I'm not sure how far he is into carb counting and working to an established Insulin-to-Carb Ratio (ICR) for each meal, but without that method he/you will be shooting in the dark. You may already know this. but I would strongly recommend that you download (free) and purchase (only £9) the following two basic books which are VITAL for Type 1 diabetics to get good blood glucose control ..

1) Download and read carefully & understand this document from Diabetes UK ..
"An introduction to carbohydrate counting and insulin dose adjustment"
https://shop.diabetes.org.uk/store/lite ... -book.aspx

2) Buy this Carb Counting book:
Carbs & Cals: A Visual Guide to Carbohydrate & Calorie Counting for People with Diabetes
(http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0956 ... 01_s00_i01)

If your son insists on ignoring all the advice given to him, then he should be aware of all the patients that I have seen in Diabetic Clinics over the past 43 years that are, in wheelchairs or have lost their sight, due to denying they have a serious medical condition and so not bothering to control their diet/insulin. You and your family, and his friends, need to realise that without strict self-management of his condition, he stands a very good chance of losing his sight, losing a leg, kidney damage or a heart attack in later life .. and of course dying well before his time.

It is well documented and he should ignore it as his peril. If you require any more advice please PM me and I will be glad to assist ...

Best of luck .. and stick at it !

Jonty