Will I ever cope?

Very lost 101212

Active Member
Messages
38
As a mother of a beautiful 10 year old boy (diagnosed type 1 on 101212) my heart is broken. I feel so selfish that it's about how I feel, what I want, what i need. Will I ever cope?
 

Belle24

Newbie
Messages
2
Type of diabetes
Parent
Treatment type
Pump
Hi, you're not selfish, It's a horrible thing that's happened. I know how you feel, My 2 year old little boy was diagnosed 3 weeks today and I am totally heartbroken that my little miracle baby has to endure a life of diabetes. It is really hard and some days I feel like I can't cope, I keep expecting the nightmare to end and can't believe the rubbish my little man will have to put up with for the rest of his life. The only thing we can do is get on with it and teach our boys to stay healthy so they can have the fantastic lives we want for them. You've been through childbirth and the terrible two's so you can cope with anything :wink:
 

jayne15

Well-Known Member
Messages
115
sorry to hear about your sons diagnosis, you can and will cope, we are 3 and half months into diagnosis for meg age 7. Life is hard but diabetes is part of everything we do now and your boy will amaze and inspire you. I still burst into tears without warning, I am guessing this is normal as I know I am going through a grieving process of what could have been-you will too go through this and it is absolutely normal for you to feel the way you do. take one day at a time and I promise life will get easier as your boy gets used to his new routine, life will be pretty hectic at times but it isn't anything you cant handle. :)
 

Very lost 101212

Active Member
Messages
38
Thank you for the posts above. My son is an amazing young man, who clearly has better coping techniques than his insane mother. I want to cope...not pretend to cope. I appreciate any piece of advice I can get, clearly I am incapable of any logic. :(
 

carb-counting-mum

Well-Known Member
Messages
88
Hi,

I know how hard this is. Our little girl (8) was diagnosed in December '12 as well. I was so worried about her (she was very ill when diagnosed). Now though, things are feeling less stressful and I am slowly becoming a bit more confident. It helps enormously that she doesn't mind all the injections. I've also found it really empowering to try and educate myself as much as I can, so I can make the best decisions for my child. How is your son coping with it all? Our kids are amazing aren't they? So much to deal with, yet they seem to be able to accept things easier than us grown-ups at times!
Please know you are not alone. It's so hard not to worry, I know. Try and find strength in knowing you are being the very best mum you can be for your son, that you will help him to gain great control over his diabetes. I prefer to see diabetes as a challenge, rather than an illness as such. It's early days still, allow yourself to feel angry and sad - all completely natural. I still get teary sometimes, thinking of the unfairness of it all. But not so often anymore. Parents on here all seem to say the same, it WILL get easier.
Take care
 

Very lost 101212

Active Member
Messages
38
Hi, he's coping wonderfully. His lantus at bed time is the only injection he dreadsas it stings.. We have plans to move onto the levemir, although I am a control freak who hates change!

Apart from that he is a bright clever boy who teaches little sister all about type 1 and hypos. I believe we are in the honeymoon period at the moment, and everything new just frightens me. I don't want to get anything wrong. I just want the best for him, like all loving parents.
 

jayne15

Well-Known Member
Messages
115
I want to cope...not pretend to cope. I appreciate any piece of advice I can get, clearly I am incapable of any logic. :([/quote]

I think that about sums it up- logic is a thing of the past LOL. I know what you mean about change aswell- I am worried any change will upset the apple cart and bring additional change in particular insulin devises but I guess its not practical to draw up for ever !

keep strong, stay calm and you will get there as I know I will -I hope :crazy:
 

carb-counting-mum

Well-Known Member
Messages
88
My daughter is on Lantus as well. Luckily she doesn't complain of it stinging though. She's also going through the 'honeymoon' period (some honeymoon eh?). I know what you mean about wanting to get it right. My DSN has told me to forgive myself if I get things wrong, to learn from any mistakes (I've made plenty of those already). I think that was great advice and just what I needed to hear. I try not to be so hard on myself now if I don't quite get things right, and I have definitely learnt from any mistakes I've made.
 

Very lost 101212

Active Member
Messages
38
Some honeymoon indeed. My DSN are both angels, and put up with my nonsense without complaining. I guess I wish I was in the future right now...at least that way I will have something under my belt. Right now I eat, sleep and breathe the D word ... And I absolutely hate he fact that its referred toas an auto immune disease.... I mean Disease? Really? It's surely a condition....:(
 

donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
Sorry parents... I'm 50 this year and the youngest of 3 - and the only girl

My mum still treats me so differently to my brothers because I am diabetic..

Spoke some length to Mum about this. But she still deems that D has limited my life to that of my brothers...
I.e when my dad died he had changed his will to say donations to diabetes research, as last thing he could do for me... My mum continues this theme..As I couldnt get life insurance for mortgage, initAlly years ago had to pay more for car insurance, can only work part-time- as full time too much etc.

Feelings of devastation will subside a little, but wanting the best for your child never will and to be honest at times in past 30 years D has had an impact.

My mum as well as me was told I would die earlier than non diabetics. I would have complications. So far so good.. Still here, no complications at all.. So some +++ to be taken from this..

Medicine has improved significantly for your children.... The regime and thoughts we were given are mo more.
Your children are in a much better place now, than back then.

They learn from those closest around them... So be +++.. not --- as were told. Life can be great for diabetics.. There are people worse off... It is not a terminal disease... It is a critical one... Probably I believe because it can make you critically aware of the value of life....

It's hard, but not unsurmountable.

My Mum still worries about me, sorry.. It is a life long relationship between children and diabetes... My own thoughts from being a 'grown' child is to not make it obvious what hour thoughts are.. Try to be so positive for your children.

My dad before internet used to cut every article from every where he coulld find that had positives about treatments improving for us.. His only promise to me that I ever heard him say was that I would see a cure in my lifetime. That hasnt come about, and somehow I do feel let down by that... But being +++ treatment is hugy better.

No real good advice, but just be +++ and if anything keep a book or record to give to your children later in life so that they can realise the good journey that hopefully will continue with our medicines and life's...
 

emmamadi

Active Member
Messages
43
Hi :wave:
I just wanted to sympathise with you. My son was diagnosed 19months ago aged 2 with Type 1 and I found it very hard to deal with at first. I think I spent about 6 months feeling very down and unable to move on. It is so hard to watch your child suffer and be unable to make things better for them.
But, we are now a year and a half down the line, and while it is never 'easy', it is better. Watching your child have highs and lows multiple times a day is heartbreaking, but it does level out somehow and kind of become 'normal' (although a different type of normal). I have had to learn to give a bit when my son has high bloods as he can get a little grumpy and argumentative :twisted: sometimes, but we get there in the end :thumbup:
Just to add, my son even at 2 years old hated lantus (he said it hurt him very bad) but once he had levemir it was much better for him. He now has an insulin pump so has changed again, but I do remember the lantus was an issue at the time,
Emma
 

Very lost 101212

Active Member
Messages
38
Hi Emma, thank you for your kind words. It means a lot. I feel just so lost its incredible but I know I have no choice but to get on. I want so much for my son and will do what I have to in order to achieve it. Just wished my heart wouldn't flip every time I do a blood sugar. :(
 

heidiphillips

Member
Messages
13
Very lost,
You are going through a natural grief reaction. Mine lasted about six months. I remember a colleague telling me that one day I would look back and realise it was a good thing to have happened. I could have killed her. We are now 5 years on. Of course it has changed us, of course I worry about her. She is my eldest and I have 4 children and I have to say I worry about them all; different times, for different reasons and diabetes is where it should be - something to deal with, something to keep learning about but ultimately something to live with, not define how we live.
 

Just Laura

Well-Known Member
Messages
135
Hello,
My lovely lil girl was diagnosed just a month ago and I totally know what you mean, with every post you've written here. And I do wonder when I'll stop spontaneously bursting in to tears!
But, even a month on, things have got easier and we are quickly adjusting to our new "normal."
I heard a brilliant quite from someone's Dad, think it may have been on here..
"...with diabetes, I don't think we ever get it right. We just get it less wrong."
and I've taken great heart from that.
We'll all cry, wish for different, make mistakes and live and learn but one thing is for sure: we will appreciate our amazing children all the more.
x


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

CambridgeLass

Well-Known Member
Messages
148
Agree with all the above posts. It will take a while. We're 2 months into the regime, and while its **** hard for us mothers not to cry and contemplate their future, you need to take it a day at a time. Each day is a new one. Kids are fantastic. My little girl is now asking to do her bedtime prick, she wants to see if the number she guesses is right.. She reminds me not to forget her injection. I could never have forseen being here after the first few days. Of course we have our down days. Today she wanted the chicken wishbone as she wanted to wish her diabetes away :( Baby steps. There's so much to learn. The best advice I can give is to do it all with your child, educate them so they grow up realising how important management is.
Take care, Tracy


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
All these comments on how parents and chilren coping are humbling and so heartbreaking.
 
Messages
18,448
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Bullies, Liars, Trolls and dishonest cruel people
Very lost 101212 said:
Thank you for the posts above. My son is an amazing young man, who clearly has better coping techniques than his insane mother. I want to cope...not pretend to cope. I appreciate any piece of advice I can get, clearly I am incapable of any logic. :(

You know,I went through the same thing with my grandaughter, diagnosed at 2 1/2 years, it still breaks my heart and I feel guilty because its on my side of the family, Seeing her fighting for her life on the HDU with tubes coming out of everywhere and an oxygen mask on is making me upset now, but she pulled through , is coping very well and is a tough little cookie :D

Sometimes logic gets overwhelmed when you are faced with a traumatic shock, your son sounds a great boy and he will,I'm sure, lead a happy and fullfilled life. Read up about Junvenile diabetes and try and get in touch with other parents,it's not the end, it may feel like that to you,but it will get a little easier, it may take a little time. Take care with my best wishes to you both RRB
 

semarroy

Member
Messages
16
Over 2 years ago, we had to make a decision on how we would face our sons newly diagnosed type 1 and how we would educate him and help him to not only live with diabetes, but to accept it as part of him. To not let it become all of him or overwhelming, but to take it seriously and for him to be responsible for himself so he can avoid the immediate risks and long term problems. We've taken big overseas trips, and many adventures so that he knows he can still follow his dreams with no restrictions. We don't hide it, we talk about it and I hope this openness has allowed him to achieve so much in the past 2 years ... and to live a normal 11 year old boys life. Keep strong, it's going to be alright. xxxxxx
 

amandajane

Active Member
Messages
30
Many years ago I worked in a school and one of the children I worked with was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 8. I was asked to keep an eye on him, and did so - and 12 years on still know his mum's telephone number off by heart! His mum was shaken to the core by her son's diagnosis and she wondered how he or she would ever cope. I built up a really good relationship with the whole family and saw her grow to accept it and realise that he was able, with lots of support at first, to manage his diabetes. The other children were fabulous with him, and learnt to spot his hypos and were completely accepting of every aspect of him.

I saw him recently, he looked very well, he has 2 children and is leading a fulfilled and happy life. It must be a terrible shock for you, but the feelings will become more manageable. Don't forget to look after yourself to during this difficult, initial time.

All the best

Gillian
 

LizG

Active Member
Messages
27
Type of diabetes
Parent
Treatment type
Pump
Yes you will cope. It's taken us a year to come to terms with my 9yr old sons type1 diabetes. We needed to experience his needs during the summer and the winter when he does different activities. Now I'm no longer upset, just accepting and his condition fits into our life as if its always been this way. Our next challenge is changing from injections to a pump. Please don't worry about the future, just take it a week at a time and feel proud that you're coping as well as you are. I've learnt that worrying doesn't make either your life or your child's any easier. Honestly it will be fine.