Hi James!
I am sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. Being diagnosed with Type 1 is a real shock and it takes a while to get your head around it. However, it is not going to go away and you must come to terms with that. In life, things happen and they get us down - everyone feels down sometimes. When feeling down becomes more than that, it is most likely depression. Depression is a serious condition and needs treatment from a doctor/counsellor, just as diabetes does. Please go and seek the help you so clearly need. If you had a broken arm you wouldn't struggle on alone, so be kind to yourself and ask your GP for help.
In terms of the diabetes, you know you must take your insulin. The trouble is, not taking it won't kill you instantly, but it will cause such severe damage to so many parts of your body (eyes, feet, kidneys, heart etc) that when you do feel like living again - and one day you will! - the damage will be with you for the rest of your life and you will regret this period when you have allowed the condition to rule your head.
In terms of your diet, carb makes you feel hungry and crave more carb. For every bit of carb you eat, you will need to inject insulin. If you are worried about putting weight on, insulin does not have to mean increasing weight - but you have to manage it carefully to avoid this. The easiest way is to eat less carb and therefore require less insulin. I know that can be difficult for vegetarians, but it is possible. Do you like eggs? An omellette can make a tasty, nutritious, quick low-carb meal - I only have to inject about 1.5 units rapid-acting for a 2-egg omellette with mushrooms and cheese. How about soya mince? Add that to a vegetable chilli to give yourself some extra protein. Sid Bonkers posted a wonderful Moussaka recipe in the food section of the forum - it is very low-carb, very filling and I am sure you could make it just as well with soya mince. WhitbyJet has posted many brilliant low-carb recipes in the low-carb recipe section - many of these are vegetarian or could be adapted to be so. If you can reduce your carb and increase your protein and good fat intake, you will not feel hungry and you will require less insulin to cover these meals. It is hard for a couple of weeks, but you soon get used to a reduced carb diet. If you really can't bring yourself to cut the sweet and starchy carb, then you will have to inject enough insulin to cover the carb you eat, even if that means putting weight on. Perhaps you could offset this with a little more exercise? You absolutely must make sure your body has sufficient insulin to deal properly with the sugar in your blood. Things might seem hopeless now, but it won't always be that way and one day you will be thankful that you took your insulin appropriately.
Take care and please get the help you need.
Smidge
