Feeling left out... Work!

Mbmdp

Active Member
Messages
34
I work in an office with 9 other women. I don't get on with 3 of them and seeing as one of them left on Tuesday they are going out for a meal tomorrow night and I haven't been invited and I feel like an outsider and it really hurts!! I have been out with them all at Christmas and felt like an outsider there too!!

Sorry to keep posting threads in the off topic section but apart from my husband and mum I don't really have anyone to complain to lol!


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

BlueQ

Member
Messages
10
Mbmdp said:
I work in an office with 9 other women. I don't get on with 3 of them and seeing as one of them left on Tuesday they are going out for a meal tomorrow night and I haven't been invited and I feel like an outsider and it really hurts!! I have been out with them all at Christmas and felt like an outsider there too!!

Sorry to keep posting threads in the off topic section but apart from my husband and mum I don't really have anyone to complain to lol!


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

Hey mbmdp,

It sucks when this happens :(

If you felt like an outsider at the Xmas do, why would you want to go out again with them?

Have you been working with them for long?
 

hanadr

Expert
Messages
8,157
Dislikes
soaps on telly and people talking about the characters as if they were real.
Since you already have a difficult relationship with them, It couldn't hurt to ask if the invitation includes you. Then if you know where, you might be able to look up the menus on-line and pick yours in advance.
Hana
 

stoney

Well-Known Member
Messages
321
Type of diabetes
Parent
Treatment type
Pump
Hi Mdmdp

Personally I would not give them the satisfaction of asking them. I would completely ignore what is going on around you and show that you could not care less what they are doing. They must be having a whip round for her so just say when they ask if you want to donate, NO THANK YOU. Do YOU REALLY want to be in their small mindedness company, I certainly would not. I bet one or two of them have a conscience but will not speak out. There must be a ring leader somewhere. Anyway you know the saying what goes around, comes around.

Chin up, women are bitches to work with I much prefer men ( and I can say that from experience).

Take Care x
 

Mbmdp

Active Member
Messages
34
stoney said:
Hi Mdmdp

Personally I would not give them the satisfaction of asking them. I would completely ignore what is going on around you and show that you could not care less what they are doing. They must be having a whip round for her so just say when they ask if you want to donate, NO THANK YOU. Do YOU REALLY want to be in their small mindedness company, I certainly would not. I bet one or two of them have a conscience but will not speak out. There must be a ring leader somewhere. Anyway you know the saying what goes around, comes around.

Chin up, women are bitches to work with I much prefer men ( and I can say that from experience).

Take Care x

Oh bless you! Thank you for taking the time to reply. You have got it smack on.
Yes there was a collection and no I wasn't asked to put in so I just got her a card and a box of chocolates so I didn't cause more grief!

I've just about had enough of this place, I'm literally hanging on by the skin of my teeth!


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

Lucypieee

Well-Known Member
Messages
227
Dislikes
Diabetes
Stoney's right, (most) women are awful to work with.

First office I worked in, I don't believe anyone liked me, partly because I had nothing in common with them and unfortunately, there are a lot of narrow minded people in the world.

Things didn't much improve in the second office, I liked the people more, but since leaving only one person in the whole office (of 58 people) one person kept her promise and kept in contact.

I've been in my current job for 5 months now and as there's only 2 of us, we don't go out for dinners or drinks or anything, but she's perfectly nice and I get along with her and I'm happy working alongside her.

I've spent a long time forcing myself to interact when I felt uncomfortable and smiling at a job I didn't enjoy. It's not worth it. They're only collegues, occasionally you'll make a friend for life working somewhere, but if you don't, it's not a big deal. I'd much rather be on my own, or out with one friend that I get along with really well then force myself to go out with people I don't particularly like in a situation where I just feel uncomfortable.

It's their loss, right? :D
 

Andy12345

Expert
Messages
6,342
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Doctors
ive always hated work do's, ive always found that everyones trying so hard to not talk about work when its the only thing we have in common, i smile and count the minutes when i can go home to the family who i actually want to spend time with, i am unsociable i suppose, but i agree with the others, maybee arange a night out with a friend on the same night so you wont be thinking about the ratbags you work with. or spent the night here with us, your invited! :) :)
 

Yorksman

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,445
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Sod 'em. Don't get involved. They'll start falling out with each other next. Just a bunch of fishwives.

B29.jpg
 

Mbmdp

Active Member
Messages
34
Yorksman said:
Sod 'em. Don't get involved. They'll start falling out with each other next. Just a bunch of fishwives.

B29.jpg

I can but hope! I hate it. I'm only here because I have responsibilities but I honestly think although it sounds silly they don't want me here :-(




Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

Superchip

Well-Known Member
Messages
512
Dislikes
GP's, Diabetes Nurses.Crazy NHS guidelines on diet for Diabetics, they are seeing off millions.
Cheap Whisky !
Excellent Yorksman !

Sod 'em indeed !

I'm a lonely male in a house with 4 women, they manage to have the decorators in equally spaced throughout the month - nightmare !

Have never worked with women, although some of the chaps were a bit dodgy !

I suppose my situation is just nature's way of getting me back !

To OP Mbmdp - keep yer pecker up, oops sorry ! be yourself, rise above it, and KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON !

TTFN Superchip
 

Yorksman

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,445
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Mbmdp said:
I can but hope! I hate it. I'm only here because I have responsibilities but I honestly think although it sounds silly they don't want me here :-(

No, that's not it. They need you there because your presence there means they can ignore their own differences. If you left, they'd start on each other. The stronger ones want everything to revolve around them, the weaker ones will do what it takes to feel part of the group. It's real monkey behaviour. I had a spell of about three years evesdropping on conversations between women in groups in a pub on a Friday night. All I can say is if the men spoke to each other like that, there'd be a lot of trouble. Some would go out of their way to make others feel small. The rest would comply because they hoped to avoid that sort of attention. Desmond Morris wrote a popular book about group behaviour over 40 years ago called The Human Zoo. We christened our favourite pub The Playground because the groups that formed and the places they stood, week in week out, reminded us of the groups of kids in the school playground.

The psychologist Paul Hauck writes many books and one you may find interesting is entitled How to Cope With People Who Drive You Crazy. The main theme in his books are that the reader should not talk themselves into an emotional state. He like to point out, "Only two kinds of person can cope with neurotics. 1. Saints. 2. Other neurotics. Most people are not saints. If you are not neurotic, you soon will be." They are enjoyable reads full of examples of essentially, observations on how bad some people's behaviour can be. He suggests coping strategies for those who have to put up with them.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=sr_pg_2?r ... 1363363560
 

Mbmdp

Active Member
Messages
34
Yorksman said:
Mbmdp said:
I can but hope! I hate it. I'm only here because I have responsibilities but I honestly think although it sounds silly they don't want me here :-(

No, that's not it. They need you there because your presence there means they can ignore their own differences. If you left, they'd start on each other. The stronger ones want everything to revolve around them, the weaker ones will do what it takes to feel part of the group. It's real monkey behaviour. I had a spell of about three years evesdropping on conversations between women in groups in a pub on a Friday night. All I can say is if the men spoke to each other like that, there'd be a lot of trouble. Some would go out of their way to make others feel small. The rest would comply because they hoped to avoid that sort of attention. Desmond Morris wrote a popular book about group behaviour over 40 years ago called The Human Zoo. We christened our favourite pub The Playground because the groups that formed and the places they stood, week in week out, reminded us of the groups of kids in the school playground.

The psychologist Paul Hauck writes many books and one you may find interesting is entitled How to Cope With People Who Drive You Crazy. The main theme in his books are that the reader should not talk themselves into an emotional state. He like to point out, "Only two kinds of person can cope with neurotics. 1. Saints. 2. Other neurotics. Most people are not saints. If you are not neurotic, you soon will be." They are enjoyable reads full of examples of essentially, observations on how bad some people's behaviour can be. He suggests coping strategies for those who have to put up with them.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=sr_pg_2?r ... 1363363560

Thanks will grin and bear it a little longer! It just annoys me SO much that if I can see what they are like around the 'ring' leader others must too. I swear its so they aren't treated the way I am and them not 'losing face' (if that's the right phrase)!

I've been bullied my whole like be it at school, college and other work places!! I MUST be doing something wrong!!

Anyway it's Friday yay!

Rant over lol :)


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

mrman

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,419
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Have a good weekend, don't worry about narrow minded people :)

Sent from my GT-S5360 using DCUK Forum mobile app
 

donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
9 orher women... 3 not nice... 1 leaving.. That just leaves 2 'nasties' to bud up and fall out with each other... However it leaves...6 / 7 that haven't been mentioned..

You are wasting your lufe here thinking about a minority few couple people...

Concentrate on the others instead... Ignore the minority..