really bad rage

soostark

Member
Messages
11
hi there
my son merlin was diagnosed 4months ago,
he seems to be suffering from this uncontrollable rage since his diagnosis and its really taking a toll on us,we dont know what to do for the best.
its so hard cos i feel so sorry for him and wish i could take it all away but at the same time he has to know his behaviour is not acceptable either. he has just started to see the physcologist.
it really is tearing us all apart, he is also being really violent and aggresive.
we are going to see about teaching him meditation from this women who does that and yoga, has anyone else tried this?i just dont know what else to do, i am seriously at my wits ends
thanks for listening
sophie
 

Traceylh

Active Member
Messages
33
Hi
I'm sorry I carnt really help in this but I hope it is sorted soon, it's very overwhelming as it is and to have this added pressure I really feel for you, and even if u just need to rant this is the place to do it

Keep your chin up xxx


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BobCornelius

Well-Known Member
Messages
132
Hi soostark,

Child psychologist is the right path, we used them when youngest was having meltdowns, he hasn't had one in years since they taught coping strategies!

:)

Bob
 

anna29

Well-Known Member
Retired Moderator
Messages
4,789
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Cruelty to Animals/Children
Liars/Manipulators/Bullying
Hi Sophie.

As an extra thought if your son is in his teenage years his hormones could be adding to his
temper ... [testostrone with aggression]
Teenage young and immaturity etc, he wont have the skills to channel things correctly .
Does he have any hobbies/interest's ? A close mate friend or a girlfriend ?

4 months ago diagnosis - isnt long to have adapted well to it maybe or got a handle on things yet .
His head/feelings with this could be really struggling maybe and the temper is a desperate attempt to cover this up ?
Displaced focus - explodes outwardly in temper to avoid focus on things happening inwardly .

You dont mention how old merlin is ...
This is just an extra thought from me . :)

Anna.
 

soostark

Member
Messages
11
thank you for your replies,
merlin is 9
and he is on insulin injections 4 times a day.
i just want to help him, but i cant.Its so sad and i feel so sorry for him.
like this weekend he has been like it non stop really out of control.
its hard enough for me to get my head round his diagnosis, so for him it must just be hideous.
when he rages its horrible as we just cant calm him down, and he says he hates being like it and acting the way he does.
its so hard, i dont want to be angry witth him because i know its not his fault, but we really are afraid he going to do something dangerous, and he can be so horrible to his younger brother too.
and yesterday we noticed all these marks up his arms, covered in big purple marks, he has been sucking on his skin when he has had hese rages, so has given himself these love bite kind of marks and it looks awful, it looks like we have been beating hm or smething
 
Messages
10
Insulin is a hormone and there may actually be a medical solution for this, have you talked with an endocrinologist about it?

Also as this indicates http://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Sit ... 797P1.html it's not unusal and you're not alone in this.

If your child is very young, she may not quite understand all the life changes that may come with a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. Your child may experience feelings of vulnerability, anger, difference from peers (“Why me?”).

I'm a type 2 adult and I definitely went through the five stages of grief over it - but do check that the type of insulin/meds cannot be changed to account for the probem.

Researchers believe the growth hormone produced during adolescence that stimulates bone and muscle growth may also act as an anti-insulin agent. Blood sugar levels become harder to control—resulting in blood sugar levels that swing from too low to too high. This lack of control over blood sugar levels can be very frustrating for your teen.
 
Messages
10
I also found this article which might help, again, you should realise that this isn't unusual and you're not alone.

Psychosocial Issues for Children and Adolescents With Diabetes: Overview and Recommendations http://spectrum.diabetesjournals.org/co ... 6/1/7.full

A study8 using the Child Behavior Checklist to determine whether having diabetes as a child affects psychological adjustment found that both internalized and externalized behavior problems were increased in children with diabetes. Boys with diabetes became more aggressive than boys without diabetes. The initial findings of Hausen and associates9 demonstrated that health care professionals can predict short- and long-term adherence based on the answers to a questionnaire related to family conflict, cohesion, and organizational skills. Northam and associates10 found that the impact of a diabetes diagnosis varied with the age of the child and the socioeconomic status of the family. They also found that Australian families became less flexible over time in diabetes-related activities. Holmes and associates11 demonstrated that if intervention is not carried out immediately after diagnosis or whenever problems arise, behavior problems are more likely to develop or compound. A high level of family conflict acted as a predictor of behavioral problems, especially if the family was less cohesive, reinforcing the need for a team approach.
 

soostark

Member
Messages
11
thank you, that is interesting reading
something has got to give, this week has been really bad he got hold of a knife on thursday and was slicing it against his throat cos he was absolutely raging, and today he got my crutches and started smashing the house up with them and smashing them against my bad foot, then he picked his younger brother up threw him across the floor and started stamping on him with both feet, i am eexhausted, and feel like my heart is breaking right now, i just dont know who the right person to talk to about this is, should i speak to his nurses do you think, ive been in touch with the phsycologist, his next appointment is weds
 

andywright

Well-Known Member
Messages
45
Whats his sugar like? He is'nt actually hypoing whens he's doing this stuff is he? Hope things start looking up soon :thumbup:
 

soostark

Member
Messages
11
thank you
to be honest his sugars are all over the place right now , anything from 2 right up to the twenties, they are all over tthe place. sometimes when he is having a rage attack we have managed to get him to test to see what they are like and sometimes they have been high like between 15-20 and sometimes under that., he wont always test though when he completely going mad he straight out refuses and as i am on crutches right now its not always easy for me to grab him and pin him down
 

lesaw

Member
Messages
5
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi Sophie,

As a fellow mum of T1 9 year old - yes mines rages also., yes it's hard going and yes I also feel so sorry for my son.

I have looked into anger issues this on various sites and they say they have to let there anger out - this maybe so but we want to control the outcome it can cause.

We have just started using the pump in the last 8 weeks and it has made a HUGE difference although he still can go off on one!! But when I saw you're post I sent a copy to my husband with the subject heading - "been there / still there" (this morning!!) but at least I now know my son is not the only person who can lose it.

My son used to count back from 10 then by himself he said I better put it up higher! It's a shame because my son feels so guilty after the rage is finished - they just can't get a handle on things.

Take care & keep calm

Being diabetic has never stopped my son - he plays football (trains 4 nights per week) and has games both on Saturdays & Sundays. He trains with a scottish 1st divison team's under 10s - he'll do anything. He has been to Geneva with JDRF for the Medtronic World Cup 2010. If Merlin likes football please check out this cup - it's a terrific time for kids and parents.

Lesa
Mum to Blair age 9
T1 since Feb 2010
 

soostark

Member
Messages
11
hi lesa
many thanks for your response
unfortunatly merlin detests football, he was doing street dance but has just given that up as from today
and the pump is something we have decided against if the option were to arise
its so hard to kno what to do for the best, and at anytime he can completely turn, he doesnt seem to be like this at school only at home so thats a good thing as i was starting to worry that he might lash out at another child, which could still happened but nothing bad as of yet.
hubby is going to talk to this lady he knows who teaches yoga and meditation and see if you knows anything about doing it for kids or someone who does.
its hard work as i feel so alone with this, i just want everything to work out for him
 

lesaw

Member
Messages
5
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi Sophie,

Just to let you know both myself & my husband both said the pump wasnt for Blair. But when he was offered it we decided that we would try (probably I was more up for it). With the pump its no procise with the insulin - that is why blairs rages have decreased. Because Blair is so active we thought the injection would be better but we were wrong - the pump is hard work but we are getting there - never thought we would my husband thought it wouldn't benefit blair's football but it has actual benefited him. Blair is now the same wee boy as he was when he was diagnosed at age 6. Please dintbrule out the pump. Also please check out Bayer Events as they have lots of things to do for kids.

Take care. Lesa
 

soostark

Member
Messages
11
thank you i will check out bayer events
dont get me wrong we obviously want what is best for him, and its good youve had great results witth the pump, i dont know if he wever will get the option as ive heard its a bit of a postcode lottery kinda thing as to weher you get one or not. i like the injections as you can see and know he is getting what he is sposed to, and from what i have read about they the pumps works and other peoples explanation im not sure id actually feel safe with him using it, obviosly i know they are safe as they wouldnt be allowed, but im probably being over cautious lol i just feel something like that should be a desicion for him to make when he is old enough too, but i dont know we will see lol i dont like the idea of that cannula being in him either
but the last two days have been good, hes been pretty calm with only little outburts, i know this wont last, but its so lovely to have him like that even if its just for a short amount of time
 

crushersmum

Active Member
Messages
28
Type of diabetes
Parent
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
I had EXACTLY the same with my son when he was a teen. ( 6 smashed windows in one year as he put his fist or insulin pen through them!)
We finally cured it when we realised that it is ENTIRELY related to sudden high blood sugars - which as I am sure you know can triple within the space of 20 minutes with young boys.
To stablise this we changed the diet to very slow cooking - stews and roasts that prevented snacking when he was hungry ( which gives an imeadiate high) as he was looking forward to a great meal & the meal lasted longer. Portion control with puddings - not cutting them out entirely, as he was then secretly buying sweets & donuts after school causing highs. Having a small bit of sugar with every meal reduced the underhand sweet problem. Low GI index food ( veg, brown bread etc) helped slow down the peaks in BM.

We also now have a "get out of the house" policy whenever he is angry as exercise does wonders for reducing blood sugar & by the time he has walked a mile to his mates house to tell them how horrible his parents were, his bm was lower & the problem solved.

If he does not leave, you leave the room instantly as there is no point whatsoever trying to argue with a child with high BM & becomes dangerous to you as they get stronger.

The Phychologists did not help much other than to help us to give him the freedom to make his own decisions rather than trying to control his diabetes for him. ( which made the anger far worse). He made a few mistakes once he took over his own diet & insulin decisions but learn quickly and as long as we only spoke about it when he was normal (ie not high & angry) he came to understand how his entire family was being impacted and tried to help.

But then again your son still has to go through the worst part of teenage changes so do not expect miracles instantly. ALL parents of teenage boys will tell you it is hell for a few years whether or not they have diabetes. You can just help by finding solutions for the highs so the rest is just hormonal.
 

soostark

Member
Messages
11
thank you crushers mom
we are strong believers in the fact that diet has a lot to do with things in todays society.
shortly we are going to be switching to the 80/10/10 and trying him on that for a bit,
sometimes when he has these rages and we have managed to get him to test his levels, theye havent been on the high side at all, and we have the opposite problem, actually trying to get him to eat, which is very hard work. he has never been a great eater, or snacker, or lover of sweet sugary things, unlike his brother and sister who would eat every last morsel if we let them lol
at the moment its hard for me to leave he room as i cant walk due to an accident a few months back so i am on crutches, so tthat kinda makes things harder otherwise i would go to my room away from him. sometimes he will storm off to his room and trash it.
but yes i do worry the older he gets the stronger he will become,because when he goes off on one, its like he becomes incredible hulk and he gets this amazing strength.
but i definitly need to get him doing some kind of club, although picking one suitable for him is proving quite hard, hes not typically into boyish things, he would rather play dress up and with dolls,recently he was doing street dance bu dropped it because he wasnt enjoying it anymore. but i definitly feel he needs to be sdoing something, something he can look forward to each week and will help release this anger without damaging others, but i have no clue what.
i really like the idea of how you do your meals and until we do the diet swtch then his is something iam going to try and do, cos even though he's not a great eater this might get him into more of a routine with his eating.,

i am seriously dreading getting to those teenage years!
thanks so much for your response, you have really good tthings put into place
 

MattyK

Well-Known Member
Messages
45
I was diagnosed when is 15 (now 33) I had exactly the same problem, when I was diagnosed my sugar was 45 mmols the consultant said that it may take some time for my body to readjust to 'normal' blood sugars.
I found that when my sugars went low, the following happened;

1. I would get very aggressive for no reason
2. I would not eat anything sugary
3. Very defiant and awkward

My parents managed to get me to eat sugary stuff by pretending to 'steal' 'my' sugary sweets, this made me want them and consequently eat them.
This worked well, until my sugar control was more stable and less erratic. My parents said it didn't take too long, approx 2 months and that I sort of grew out of it, I think as my body got used to a more normal pattern.

I hope this helps and your young man manages to get sorted out too.

Best of luck!

Matt


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GBH

Member
Messages
8
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
My son was very brittle as a child and rages were very frequent. It improved as the balance improved and he grew up. He is now 46 and the father of two Swedish girls. The prospect gets better :)
 

Barrie Smith

Active Member
Messages
38
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
NHS and Prof Tony Weetman .
Hi , sounds like the insulin he is being given is affecting his brain chemistry , go to either the "human" or Animal insulin , Warning you will certainly have to fight to get a change . There are extreme commercial interests at work , a few days ago I Googled " relationship between NHS and Novo Nordisk " which brought up Oxford University ,(where most Diabetic Endocrinologist
are trained ), but interestingly all the contact phone numbers were headed Novo Nordisk , the purpose of my search was to resubmit a complaint I made to Health Care Committee ( Stafford Hospital notoriaty ) to the Quality Care Committee .
I suspected at the time after 18 months ,8 Case Managers and the un named Expert who rejected it that was the case .
Do be quick about it ,like mine the result could be permanent .
Kindest Regards Barrie Smith .