need to rant, sorry

Andy12345

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please dont read my rant!! my lovely wife is driving me insane, 8 weeks from diag, ive completely changed my lifestyle, takeaways coke and chocolate in biblical proportions to low carb, zero excercise to killing myself in the gym, ive lost 25lb in weight, im baking most days yes baking unbelievable, i go shopping and buy them goodies and never cheat, we go to mcdonalds and i eat the salad while they have burgers fries etc, i remain upbeat and positive most of the time, ive basically taken this very seriously and am determined to not die from diabetes like my dad at 67, ive succeeded in bringing down my bp from 250/125 to 130/80 my bg from mid twenties to 3.5 to 8 and all i get is, "your losing to much weight to fast its bad for you" and "dont be ridiculous you cant run in the 2014 london marathon your hurt yourself" and tonight it was " your cutting out good food that you need like breakfast cereal" and when i say no your wrong cereals are bad for my bg "you are on this private journey and no one else is allowed in " i feel just like that although i denied it, this is all said because she loves and cares for and is worried about me but ***.......... wow i actually feel better after writing this, thankyou for not reading my rant :)
 

Rosebud

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I totally understand .I am type 2 and am now on insulin .As this is all new to me I have every one in my family worried sick .I am the opposite to you I'm not looking after my self at all .i stopped taking my insulin because I was putting on weight and then my BS went through the roof but the weight stayed off.Every day I start off with good intentions I take my insulin eat good stuff but give in and eat **** and drive my husband crazy
He is threating to tell Dnurse if I don't wise up.I know how dangerous this all is but I'm a loser and am more worried about being fat than being Diabectic I was very heavy 2 years ago but lost 5 stone only the reason for that was my diabeatis so sorry for my rant and good luck to you all


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Pandanose

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Hi Andy, this is quite common. People, even those we love, want us to remain the same. We crave the familiar. She's just being human. Lots of reassurance and the odd 'I love you, but if you don't let me do this I'll die' should get the message across, although you might want to sugar coat it a little.

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Andy12345

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rosebud, you are not a loser, you are just struggling to do the right thing, losing 5 stone is amazing, you have huge amount of inner strength to do that, its completely understandable not wanting to put the weight back on...so dont, take the insulin then eat better than you think is possible, count everything, plan every thing your going to eat in advance, try to get your head around the fact that you need food for fuel only, no other reason to eat other than to stay alive, then once your giving your body fuel not food, you can consider something that tastes good a bonus, slowly work on finding tasty fuel, eat to stay alive and maintain your weight most importantly, this attitude causes frustration and pain but not as much pain as your love ones will feel when you kill yourself prematurely, you can do this, you must do this. your special, your amazing! tell us how your doing, 10 times a day if it helps you keep it up, im not going to wish you luck because if you do this it wont be down to luck itll be down to your hard bloody work, ok this is day one im waiting for your next post.
Best Wishes
Andy
 

Rosebud

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Thank you Andy today I tried very hard to stick to the low carb diet .i have taken my insulin and this morning my BS were in the 20 but tonight at 10pm they were only 8 so what a result.
at the back of my mind the worry is still there about weight gain but as you say plan ahead .Thank you for your message it is very much appreciated I will continue to take my insulin and wise up.i know there are people out there with worst disease s than me God help them.
Thanks again


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lenipenny

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I think you are amazingly strong for changing your diet and lifestyle and not giving in to temptation i have been tryin hard but i do cheat i cant be around people eating stuff like cake without givin in and having some i know sometimes things arnt fab and you need to rant but i think you are doing fantastic i wish i could turn my life around like you x

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Rosebud

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Hi lenipenny
As I said before I'm the worst person in the world to be Diabectic .i start off each day promising myself to be good and then my inner devil pops into my head and all reason flys out the window. I'm 12 stone now I was 17 stone 2 years ago I always had a big smile on my face but I was so sad inside I joined weight watchers and with their help I lost the weight which was very hard to do.
I'm only on insulin 3 weeks and I've put on 4 lbs I do understand that I have to watch my carbs but I'm so hungry all the time but I'm going to follow Andys advice and eat to live and not over do it.
At weight watchers I lived on carbs and no fat and now it's the opposite
Don't give up try your best to stay away from the **** I know it's so hard
Good eating to you all


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WeeWillie

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Andy, I take my hat off to you.
You posted in your thoughts to get them, understandably, off your chest. It's a good practice and a good thing to do which has the added effect of giving you a bonus.

You not only clearly helped yourself but, in doing so....and here's the bit that has so impressed me, "the bonus" you've ended up helping others with your response and understanding words of comfort and encouragement to other members who really were in need of them.

As I mentioned, I take my hat of to you.

So, here's to a long, happy, and as healthy a life as possible for everyone.


weewillie.
 

Andy12345

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im choked at your reply thankyou, i normally only get choked when reading the parents of children posts, thats so very kind of you.
 

Giverny

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No need to apologise for ranting, we all need to get things off our chest now and then. Better to let it out than let it stew. We're always here to listen!
 

hanadr

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Andy
she's worried about you, but stick to your guns, show how wll you are find the names of any diabetics running the Marathon or tell her about Sir Steve Redgrave and othe diabetic athletes.
 

Rosebud

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Hi Andy
I was of work today and made a stew with steak pieces,carrots,cauliflower and bro lie a few stock cubes and it is lovely and very filling.As you can see by my text I am trying to eat properly .Because of the good food my BS are much lower today so I can decrease my insulin dose.Don't worry I checked with Diabectic nurse and she has ok this .Thanks Andy for your help I know I will have bad days but hopefully the decrease in insulin will stop the weight gain .
I am trying to keep to low carb but this is so hard with me being Irish as I love potatoes so much and bread but I will try to have small amounts of them
Thanks again :
Rosebud
 

Andy12345

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Heyyyy :) thats simply wonderful rosebud, I'm so chuffed you sound like someone who's looking forward and upwards, I'm so pleased :) :) please keep me up to date with everything, I will too, seeing as I can't stop posting, posting has become my potatoe substitute lol, now when I think about it that's not so far from the truth, I spend so much time here reading all the posts it's like a constant stream of encouragement and inspiration
 

Andy12345

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Thankyou hana, because of this post I almost didn't send. a new friend gave me some links to some really brilliant scientific info that I have shown her and she actually said to me maybee we should all go low carb, I mean how cool is that, low and behold I get home from work today to a dinner of burgers made with huge mushrooms instead of buns and slices of huge tomatoes with skewers to hold them together and butternut squash chips, even the kids had no bread buns, I am so happy, this is such a good day.
 

Rosebud

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Hi Andy
Another day and another reduction in insulin I am now on Novomix30 10 units morning and evening
Which is down from 14 units morning and evening .This is fantastic and Diabectic nurse is delighted.I told her about joining the forum and making new friends who like me are Diabectic .She doesn't agree with low carb she thinks diabetics need at least 150 grams of carbs a day but agrees that this last three days low carbing has helped me big time .and of course your helpful text helped as well .i work in a hospital so I can see my DN every day so I'm lucky on that respect.
Andy I have a confession I copied your dinner that you had last night although my butternut squash chips were rotten I am a terrible cook .Low carb is so hard but I am going to keep at it.
My family are delighted with me so I only hope I can keep it up.
On the forum some people think low carbing makes no difference when taking insulin.
Well God loves a try er and thanks to you Andy Im trying .
Hope you had a good day


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donnellysdogs

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Andy
Hi, I've come to a conclusion this weekend about food and partners....
We saw friends this weekend, and one of them has put a lot of weight on (she was previosly anorexic for a long time). She is now obese from being with her new partner..
Another female friend is pretty much the same scenario.. But fat.. Not obese.
Another friend and his partner are the opposite.. He is really underweight and a severe weightwatcher and he tries desperately to put ww diet on his partner who doesnt need to lose weight.
And myself.... My hubby has only really taken any interst in what we eat because he has now got high cholesterol.. But I have always tried to eat healthy, but normal... So if he bought a cake.. I would eat it. This changed hugely the minute I pushed him into a health check clinic at b&q a couple of weekends ago.

My conclusion this weekend is that in our relationships we seem to eat what the dominant food provider cooks and eats.... Your wife has (I suspect) been the dominant food provider previously... And now you want to change she is finding it difficult to handle.... As it is different to her normality. My hubby now buying everything to help his cholesterol ... Avoiding any cakes etc.. And that is actually annoying me, as although he always known I been diabetic .. He never went out of his way to actually avoid cakes with me and my diabetes!! (by way, cakes werent normal everyday eating)..

It will be hard to get your partner to change her lifestyle of eating without her having a health reason to do so..

I know there are some fantastic partners here of diabetics that do adjust their eating habits and diets for their partners and brilliant that they do, because I've really come to conclusion that there is a dominant food provider in relationships, and unless they really want to hand over the reigns, it will be hard for them to adjust to the other persons diets.

This isnt just for diabetics, as said above...it's why I believe we have obese adults and their children can be obese too...
 

Andy12345

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Hi, that all seems to make perfect sense, she is trying very hard i know, i bought two books this week on amazon one is 1001 low carb recipes and the other living a low carb life, or something like that, im tottally addicted to reading them and so far highly recommend both books and she is browsing them too, we are going to make some recipes together at the weekend out of the book, it sounds weird and i would hate her to read this but she has always been a bit of a hypercondriac and it almost feels like she is jealous, i know that is tottally ridiculous but it seems so, if you do read this darling i am only joking :) , i think half the trouble is i am soooooo into this, im almost excited each time i think of a new angle to improve my food or exercise etc, its unreasonable to expect everyone around me to be as into it. she has as you say has always been the dominant food provider, in fact until now i would mess up beans on toast, its probly more unfair of me to expect her to tottally change everything than of her to expect me to not be so into this and i wonder if it were the other way around if i would in fact think she was going a little bit carb crazy and do alot of eye rolling, and im pretty sure the other way around i would continue to eat aload of rubbish possibly even when we were together. easier to see the other side of the coin in moments of calm not so easy when they are eating doughnuts at chessington and i am just smelling them and dieing a death hehe.

Rosebud i have been trying to come up with words but i cannot your are just amazing, keep it up, let us know whats happened today :)

Andy