I feel a teensy bit saddened...

[martwolves]

For the simple delicate flowers who seem to miss the point of a 'discussion forum' and think that if they submit a post, everyone should think they're brill and be agree with them.
If that were the case, no one would post anything unless they wanted smoke blowing up their backside.
Some people have, believe it or not experienced similar circumstances and have the ability to share the outcomes with you if you are lucky. It is sometimes hard for the respondee to open up, especially with current circumstances and it may be difficult for them to share.
Sometimes what they say is harrowing and humbling and may not be what you want to hear, but it is what they have personally experienced, it is not a slight against you because you don't like what you're reading. Sometimes you have to be prepared to receive opinions that differ from your own. This happens in everyday life, in my own personal experience, at home, with friends, loved ones, strangers on the bus or train, on the street, in the shop. I honestly think some people are molly-coddled, wrapped in cotton-wool and kept from reality.

Happy weekend friends, it's been a long week for me, but ultimately one where I have achieved more than I thought possible at work and I'm pleased I stuck at it.

 

[sparkyrich]

I agree that some folk need to learn to accept others will have differing opinions. Unfortunately though, there are argumentative souls ( as in real life) who take pleasure in adopting the opposite point of view in a discussion just for the hell of it.
A genuine, different opinion is always welcome. Someone arguing just to prove how clever they are or to belittle someone else is not.
In real life, that kind of behaviour results in consequences - social ostracism or a punch on the nose. In la-la land the consequences are less immediate, unfortunately, and generally result in the forums eventual demise as the peaceable folk seek pastures new and the stroppy ones fall out amongst themselves.


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[Northernangel]

I agree totally with you both.
Its these type of people that let this forum down! To the point it has realy put me off posting on here.

Certain people also take over posts and go completely off topic and start ranting at each other when someone posts a genuine concern they need help with and they never get the answers because its been hijacked.

Having said that there is also some very supportive users too that makes this forum worthwhile.

Sorry I've just done the same and had a rant but I've been thinking this for a while.



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[donnellysdogs]

Mindfullness...

We should all be mindful of how others hear what we say, or read what we write.

When a person says or writes anything in life, its from their own upbringing, philosophy on life and even their mood or feelings at the time... But the majority of people are not mindful of how the other person is going to react....

I admit that I am not a mindful person... But I am still (I think-lol!!) a caring person.

All of us would be better persons if we could only be mindful of how others will interpret our actions... But humans genuinely haven't got brains equipped to do that all the time.

The worst thing is, that again the majority of us do not like criticism. Even well intended, nicely worded criticism is hard to take.

We learn better from people that are mindful..and that terms their language in words that the other person can handle without feelings of criticism and failure.

If someone tells you to do something it is likely to get more of a negative reaction.... If someone suggests that you may wish to try doing this.. The other person is going to react a lot more positively.

MINDFULNESS... I would like to suggest that we all give it a go. Its really hard to do.

Think- how is that person going to take what I am saying or writing?? How are they going to respond / feel? MINDFULNESS OF OTHERS...

 

[mo1905]

This forum is both a blessing and a beast. I really have learned so much from here. I have also seen some forum members happily tear some posts apart. The majority of members here are top notch. There are, however, a few who relish on their supposed superior intelligence and knowledge.


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[martwolves]

I applaud altruism and care, but you can't change a leopards spots, especially if the leopard doesn't want to. Sadly, I found this out in the starkest of circumstances. It rips your heart out and it really hurts when someone says "you are talking rubbish" when you've lived and seen it in real life and they cling to a flimsy hope. I love caring people, but being ovver-bearing can make the most obstinate, unmalleable of folk even more determined to stick thair fingers in their ears and do it all the more. Like telling a disobediant child NOT to do something. You put up a physical or barriers or obstacle and it's seen as a challenge to smash on through. It's devilment and human nature and the more you try to enforce the higher the resistance. It's like "I'll show you, no one tells me what to do". I saw a loved one die through this ultimately human, yet childish attitude and it hurts. Soz, I have seen it first hand. Some people go "nah-nah-nah, can't hear you, la la la la la". Take off your blinkers and listen to others who may know a bit more than you through experience. If you. Don't want balanced (as a sum of ALL replies), measured experienced based answers, don't go on a forum and talk to the mirror. If I'm unsure, I weigh up everyone's collective answers, both for and against, along with my OWN personal circumstances and reach an informed conclusion. No one is right or wrong, if they say "from my own personal experience..." Not "you should do this because I think it". Everyone is different and if everyone thought the same forums would be meaningless. I think that's what I meant to say first time round.

 

[martwolves]

I am unsure whether I am the target of these comments above or not. If I am overbearing, I'Ll happily go away.

Mart

 

[Geocacher]

I agree that there are some people here who cannot simply present an opposing view without trying to undermine the point of view of other users. And a few that are bent on doing nothing more than than undermining others on a personal level. I don't make it a habit to engage with either type and have at times had to pointedly tell someone that I'm simply not interested an argument. Martwolves, I don't consider you one of them.

I have no time in my life for those who believe that they somehow add to themselves by diminishing others. Real self esteem, however desparately needed by the offender, cannot be gained by debasing others. Any attempt at meaningful discussion is all to quickly ruined by that. I wish that sort would go away and do their own research, and in doing so acquire a real sense of accomplishment and perhaps develop some self esteem, so that they could present a constructive challenge and add to the discussion rather than simply being a destructive and negative element here. It doesn't require a degree, or any impressive level of intelligence, it simply requires an open mind and a willingness to learn. That is, after all, why most of us are here, isn't it -- to learn and share ideas?

 

[mo1905]

I am unsure whether I am the target of these comments above or not. If I am overbearing, I'Ll happily go away.

Mart

Not you buddy, don't go away !


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[hale710]

I am unsure whether I am the target of these comments above or not. If I am overbearing, I'Ll happily go away.

Mart

No not you!

 

[martwolves]

I thought I'd overstayed my welcome there.

 

[hale710]

I thought I'd overstayed my welcome there.

Nope you say nothing but the truth. And give me some entertainment at least

 

[martwolves]

I speak as I find, sometimes get mistaken, I believe in tough love sometimes, when needed. I was writhing in pain today, with another condition today and my 19 year old daughter hit me with insulin as I was shaky and all over the place in agony. Both girls, 19 and 16 can inject me and both have been in St. John since they were 6. I'm proud of 'em as my wife had gone shopping. I hate miserable souls, who torment others! I am a grown man and someone told me who to trust and not the other day. Unbelievable. I'm a manager and they thinl I can't decide for myself. I'm naming no names, Some people treat me like a sheep, like they're superior. Do me a cheesey quaver! Do one!!! Sheesh! Thanks Hale x

 

[martwolves]

They even drew up a manifesto of who I can be friends with! Unbelieveable. It was like the 4th Reich! Rot Bell End!

 

[martwolves]

Ps: contact me again and I'll share your name!!!!!!!!!

 

[paul-1976]

They even drew up a manifesto of who I can be friends with! Unbelieveable. It was like the 4th Reich! Rot Bell End!

:shock: You couldn't make it up! lower than a snakes belly eh?

 

[GraceK]

No-one's opinion should be 'rubbished' by anyone else. This isn't a debate forum as far as I'm aware. I'm pretty straightforward when giving my opinions but the last thing I'm saying to anyone is 'I'm right, you have to change your mind because this is my opinion." I think some people don't understand the difference between people giving opinions and people trying to convince others that they're right. There's not much we can do about those people and we certainly shouldn't withdraw from contributing and nor should we spend hours wondering how to make them understand that our opinion is just that, our opinion, thank you very much.

 

[Andy12345]

Ok I've read through this thread and don't get it lol, was there something I missed?


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[Northernangel]

Yes spot in GraceK.. That is the difference, if you give your thoughts on a subject you shouldn't be shot down and told your wrong. I always try to say 'MAYBE' or 'I feel that' not this is how it is and your wrong. Not everyone agrees with what we may have to say and people can give there opinions or advise but not so bluntly then start a big debate about it..At the end of the day there are some very vulnerable people on here. Some I have read that are suffering from depression! I think some people need to think before they write sometimes..
Maybe this site may need more moderation! Again my personal thoughts.


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[hale710]

They even drew up a manifesto of who I can be friends with! Unbelieveable. It was like the 4th Reich! Rot Bell End!

Ridiculous! All our opinions are exactly that, OPINIONS! No one has to do anything we say