Laughing at ourselves!

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thebassist84

Well-Known Member
Messages
128
Laughter is the best medicine so I want the best diabetic jokes please! Here's one for starters.

"First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.
Then they gave me hypodermics.
Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.
I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
I don't know how I pulled through it..
It was the **** hardest spelling test I've ever had"

And another

"Is NATO just the nickname Scottish people give to amputees"

PMSL

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
R

Romeo K

Newbie
Messages
3
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.

She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag!
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

So I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started…
 
E

equipoise

Well-Known Member
Messages
269
Did you hear about the overly-made up diabetic woman? Fake tan, false eyelashes – even her low blood sugar incidents were false hypos….
 
mo1905

mo1905

BANNED
Messages
4,334
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Rude people !
A nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman.
"I'm diabetic and I think I'm having a hypo !," she said.
"Are you light-headed? " my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette".
 
WeeWillie

WeeWillie

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,556
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Dictators who positively go out of their way to force misery, tears and fears, upon their countryman's lives.
Politicians who, in dealing with dictators, have a wishbone where a backbone should be.
thebassist84 said:
Laughter is the best medicine so I want the best diabetic jokes please! Here's one for starters.
<snip>

And another

"Is NATO just the nickname Scottish people give to amputees"

PMSL

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
Click to expand...

Love the content of all the posts thebassist84. :thumbup:
I nearly fell off me chair laughing at the one above. :lol:

Wonder how many "got" it. :D


willie.
 
M

martwolves

Well-Known Member
Messages
625
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Dislikes
Selfish people, arseholes who think they know it all, ignoramuses, chavs and people with no manners. People who play music on the bus or train full blast on their phones.
What do we want?

TIME TRAVEL!

When do we want it?

IT'S IRRELEVANT!
 
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