Hi Viktoria,
Welcome to the most sympathetic forum on the internet - anyone reading your post will of felt the same way at one time or another. Everyone has their own coping strategy and all are different, but it's finding what works for you. I quite simply see this as walking a tightrope, it's so easy to fall off at any time but it's remaining balanced that's the hardest thing. No one quite understands what any of us goes through except ourselves.
What works for me is remaining positive - so keeping my sanity in check all the time, if that's working ok then the BG falls into place, i'm currently doing meditation and I can honestly say it's calmed me down a peg or 2, it's me more in tune with my body and thinking so that I live in the present and not worrying about the future, I also follow a low carb diet - not religiously, but have found a daily diet that I stick to - except for the odd meal at a weekend, I have cut out all sugar, bread, pasta, rice, potato (except the odd bag of crisps) - it's not been hell, actually far from it, I no longer get the carb cravings I used to and have no desire to eat chocolate etc (this has always been a serious addiction for me).
I have taken time to really educate myself so have read books, done DAFNE, and I do badger my DSN regularly with queries.
I have off days and dark days but talk about it - venting steam is vital. I've found that being angry though leaves me wound up and is a difficult negative emotion to get rid of, i've found that if I help others though I feel better about myself, so just doing small acts of kindness like letting someone go in front in the supermarket with less than me or helping someone when they least expect it can really lift my spirits - may or may not work for you, but takes my mind of whatever is troubling me.
Do you know any other type 1's around you that you can talk to - it sounds like you need a good friend now who can listen, I hope you have one.
It does get better, honestly, makes me appreciate the better days, but don't let this get on top of you, find your way round it and then share whatever it is here with others.
:thumbup: and a big hug x