type 1 diabetic, 30 yrs....had enough :'(

gaynzie15

Member
Messages
7
As stated, im 40 and had diabetes 30 years. Always tried my best, never abused it, even as a teenager. ..I also suffer from depression, fibromyalgia and cfs. I've had loads of personal turmoil over the last few years and have just found out that I have diabetic retinopathy and trigger finger. The latter is causing me horrendous pain and waiting to see specialist. Im self employed and work 70+ hours per week, mum has moved in with me following a broken hip.
I've asked to go on the pump but apparently I have to attend a daphne course. However I cannot do this as not working for a week. ...I just couldn't afford it. Tired is an understatement. Fed up doesn't even cover it. Constantly in pain and feel like I've just about had enough. Im 40 but feel 90.....I just want to run away but unfortunately wherever I run to, I take the whole package with me. I don't know what to do and not sure what replies I get but feel better for off loading! Thanks for reading xxx
 

phoenix

Expert
Messages
5,671
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
I'm not surprised that you are feeling fed up, you've got an awful lot on your plate.
A pump would probably help you with what must be an unpredictable lifestyle but you can to a certain extent use MDI in a similar way. A DAFNE course would really help a lot, most people get something out of it, over and above learning to carb count and adjust your insulin.
One thing that you could do is to do the BDEC online carb counting course, and also buy a book called Think like a Pancreas (Scheiner) both could help you learn a bit more about using insulin and so help you gain better control. (and who knows maybe if you could demonstrate that you know how to carb count/self adjust your consultant might be a bit more flexible (???)
http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/
 
D

Deleted member 45091

Guest
Know where your coming from, I feel constantly feel worn out tired fed up etc, iam 33 diagnosed at 10 but I feel a lot older sometimes. Iam currently not working was feeling that **** most days my body just couldn't do it, Think with diabetes it can change from minute to minute to day to day, sometimes you don't know where you are with it, its always on the back of my mind whatever I do I think its a form of mental torture but its a hard one if something is annoying you, you could leave the situation or have a break from it, but with diabetes ya cant really do that. id love to get up with loads of energy but I just don't and after a while it catches up with you. Iam still on 2 injections and may have to change but its a catch 22 if I could improve my diabetes maybe I would feel better but iam also mentally burned out with it all and would like abit of time off so I can recharge the batteries and go again, but I know that's not gona happen, so a holiday or small break is needed maybe over the new year, come back and try again. But your definatley not on your own, and with other pressures as well its bound to take its toll.
 

chrisdoh1983

Active Member
Messages
38
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Anything velvet, mushrooms.
Hi,

I can sympathise with your situation and I have only been 'diagnosed' for about 2 months now, I say 'diagnosed' as the docs cant tell what type I am, possibly looking at a 1.5 type.

I work full time and have a part time job to make ends meet, but the ends seem to move further and further away these days!!. I have a young family too, so I can relate to the working and feeling tired, the tiredness leads to stress which can lead to depression too (I have been on anti depressants long before my diagnosis). Sometimes the littlest thing that goes wrong can feel like the end of the world, problems mount up and there's no way out, you feel like running away from it all. Maybe you could be doing with a few days off, getting away somewhere to rest and build up some strength, easier said that done, I know.

Maybe talking to someone would help, family member or friend, even it's just to get what may seem silly little things off your chest, it helps release some pressure.

Hope you can get sorted with your pump.

Keep you chin up and don't let the bastards grind you down,
 

Liz King

Member
Messages
12
Hiya, am also type 1 for over 30 years.
You need some time out - cant take a week, take a long weekend - plan it - go to a new town/village for aday with a friend who is supportive or go on your own (depending on your personality, and needs) explore slowly you have the time for a day - visit the art gallery, christmas fair, anything you dont normally do rushing around everywhere, have lunch and eat slowly - treat yourself with time, talk to people in the new environment. Get your hair done, go for a walk --do anything that you dont usually have time for - break away from the normal day to day overwhelming rushing around with no time to review, think or plan.
After a break from the norm, ask yourself if it is worth you taking a week out to do dafne? - it will change your life, give you more flexability, and thus hopefully improve your bg levels which in turn will give you more energy, and control, and improve your mood. For me it was the first time I had had any true education, as the last formal information I had been given was when being first diagnoised when you had to eat xxx food and therefore insulin remained the same - were you given one of those horrid glass syringes kept in surgical spirit???

Another quick thought, a couple of years ago I was suffering from overwhelming tiredness and heavy body got really depressed as I thought like you if "I feel like this in my 40's I'm not going to make or want to make 50" spoke to consultant, registar, GP etc all put it down to diabetes even though bg levels were OK. However, I moved area and my new consultant saw I had a high calcium level on regular clinic blood test - this was why I was feeling so ****- I had to have one of four glands removed which are connected/related to the thyroid - went in as day op; really quick op and next day I felt like I had lost three stone and my mental energy returned within a couple of days - couldnt believe the difference. So if your bg control is OK I would definately ask your consultant to check or run such a blood test, my new consultant said it was quite a common condition, although my new gp was good enough to admit he didnt know much about the calcium condition, so I wouldnt bother with GP. Oh and there is no follow on treatment as the other three glands are working OK - apparently it is usually only one gland which is affected.

Good luck, do give yourself some time, "You are worth it"...... sorry, couldnt resist!!
 
Messages
18,448
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Bullies, Liars, Trolls and dishonest cruel people
Gosh its long long haul and I do feel for you. I'm type 1 as well for 24 Years and sometimes with all the other problems you just want to stop the world and get off!!!!!

Sending you lots of good wishes ang a BIG HUG X

Take care

RRB
 
D

Deleted member 45091

Guest
Think life these days just cause pressure on top of everything else, its such a materialistic driven world and its so fast paced, id had enough some years back feeling like rubbish, and just walked out my job after nearly 8 years with them and never returned. As I was in work I started to accumulate credit etc loans which just added to the pressure. Walked out the job ran up more debts then went banked rupt, not saying do this but it gave me a fresh start not owing anything and gave me more time to concentrate and feeling better. I now have a bank again, I got married last year and just recently had a baby boy. My wife works and is supportive throughout, we don't own much be we live in a good area, have a modest car and have great family and friends. My diabetes isn't greatly controlled at the minute but iam working on it, we are ticking by ok, and my main priorities at first is to get some hobbies etc and get my confidence and moral back up, feeling better about myself this should give me more incentive to get better control, and eventually get back into work.....for me id love to work doing something I enjoy I just had to take a step back from the rat race of life and iam starting to concentrate and the things that really matter. But I definitely think having a good mind set first can go hand in hand with controlling the diabetes and other stresses of life a lot better.. and that's what I plan to do :thumbup:
 

gaynzie15

Member
Messages
7
Sounds like, despite everything, you did the right thing. And you are right. ..The worse things for me is that I truly hate myself. I know that I need to start to feel better about myself but it's very hard.
Congratulations on your recent marriage and baby boy! My baby boys are 16 and 11! Enjoy him while he is young! ..... time goes so very quickly
 

ExpectSuccess

Member
Messages
8
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
idiot advice about cals in and cals out and gms of carbs to eat per day from so-called professionals
Hiya; I've been type one for over 20 years since my late 40's; recently discovered the work of Dr Richard Bernstein re low carb diets and Dr's Gabriel Cousins and Neil Barnard on alkaline diets. You won't get much support for their ideas from the NHS mainline thinkers, but an alkaline diet certainly works. I had been spiking from 2.5 hypos to 25 ish hypers with monotonous daily regularity whilst taking NHS dietetic advice (ie stuff yourself with 100gm + carbs per day, avoid fats etc etc). By going alkaline and low carb (less than 50g) + moderate healthy fats I have got my hba1c down to 7.1 from 8.5. and still going down, target being 6.0 and an fbs of around 4.5-5.0). Hopefully my motor neuropathy problems in fingers and toes will then start to reduce as the nerves start to regenerate eventually. Hypo's are less and the swings are now mostly in single figures, so there is still hope! Books from Amazon;
isbn 978-1-905744-57-2 "Reverse Diabetes Diet" by Dr neal Barnard.
isbn 978-1-58394-54405 "There is a cure for Diabetes by Gabriel Cousins MD
isbn 978-0-316-18269-0 "Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution
isbn 978-0-7499-4236-6 "The ph Miracle for Diabetes" By Robert and Shelley Young.
good luck :thumbup: :D
 

gaynzie15

Member
Messages
7
I've heard of bernstein but can find ni info here. Funny what you say as my bloods too have been swinging between the same as yours with very little warning signs. This week I began avoiding wheat and carbs but have consistently high bloods. I can't understand it. Im not hungry, im more alert yet with no carbs, im still injecting. Not as much but I an having bloods of around 8 to 17...
Will certainly find out about what you have said and try to find the books etc now....Thank you so much x
 
D

Deleted member 45091

Guest
Yes heard about Dr Berns low carbing stuff, my problem is I think iam addicted now, was taught at an early age to eat carbs regular which ive always done, I do eat a lot of fish veg fruit etc but also eat loads of bread crisps pasta and stuff, I feel like ive got to eat carbs every few hours or so, sometimes even if my sugars are abit high ie 12 etc I still eat carbs just to satify my body, I know its wrong but that's how my bodys got. I was injecting into the back of my calf muscles until they said not to do that anymore a few years back. Iam not over weight about 13.5 stone and 5ft 10, but I know to get things sorted ive got to completely overhaul things, and literally start back from the beginning, options are to try the pump basal bolus etc again. But for me its like anything ive got to put my mind to it else it wont work out. So for now iam just concentrating getting myself motivated again try and in the near future to get on top of it again. My main problem is I had a good HBA1C for years iam not saying its all there fault but over the years the more ive attended appointments and dafne the more ive struggle with it. Ive sorted had it grilled into my head what i should and shouldn't be doing and it seems to have gone abit wrong. So one of my main goals is listen to my own body abit more and use my own initiative abit after all its me living with the condition 24/7. I think it would help a little if some of these dsn,nurses etc actually had diabetes themselves or at least employ more diabetics to work along side them when they give out care then maybe I would be more inclined to listen abit more
 

gaynzie15

Member
Messages
7
I agree Danny. So many times I have been to the nurse and they have told me that I must know more than them....but sometimes I need to hear it again. I agree that I need to be more positive and over the last 30 years have gone from a glass syringe, a blood tester that was like a house brick and tested my urine in glass test tubes, told to keep my bloods at 10 and several years later I was told to aim to keep my bloods as close to 2 as possible and now different. ...I think my body is so used to carbs etc but I have to change and not finding the answers through the NHS. If I do find a way of getying mentally stronger I will let you know how x
 

QuirkyBit

Member
Messages
17
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Diabetic for 25 years now and a lot of this sounds familiar unfortunately. If you are mentally struggling mention it to your GP. They should be able to get you some support. I know what you mean, it's a lot to deal with on top of everything else in life. I'm one of those who has left their job and concentrating on my health. Sometimes you have to take a step back to move forward. I was also told I needed to go on the DAFNE course before considering a pump. Luckily my trust started doing it on weekends so it could fit in with my job (when I was working). 18 months after completing the course I am on the waiting list for a pump.

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 

gaynzie15

Member
Messages
7
I don't think im brave enough to finish work as it's the only income and pays the mortgage, bills etc. I wish I could as I need to get myself back on track. X
 

cath99

Well-Known Member
Messages
619
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Dislikes
rude d/n nurses and being treated like im wierd because im diabetic
im so sorry to hear of your post. it does sound like your fighting a battle alone at times and one as i do feel there is little fun in anything now but my work, you have done this for all those years and you are still here to tell the tale so you are stronger than u think you are that's for sure, im newly diag 2 weeks in fact and i know already how isolatined you can feel. so sending you big hug and to tell you , your doing great and not to stop the fight, what doesn't kill you can only ever make you stronger xx