Family and diabetes

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
Messages
837
Dislikes
Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
No worries at least I know now :)
 

donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
Hppr....
Do feel for your situation.. I'm fortunate that I have wonderful step family. However, everybody lives so far away from my mum n stepdad both around 80.. My brothers who live locally don't give too hoots... So I living 150 miles away get burdened with a lot. This has caused friction with my brothers, because they live local, retired early and do nothing.

All I'm trying to say is thatfamilies are so difficult, it's so hard to know what to do...I have had to end up telling my mum and stepdad that I will not be their carer's and that they would have to move to a smaller place or get cleaners and a gardener in to help them.

Perhaps, they are just not mature enough (sounds daft in their 30's) but I certainly didn't think of help towards my parents until I was mid 40.......
 

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
Messages
837
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Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
Thanks for reply. Trouble is hubbies only just 63. My parents were mid 8Os before help needed. . Mum had carer morning and evening to get to bed and up again last year so. Dad only need help shopping etc.
 

donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
I do so feel for you. It's so tough with families.

I not say this normally, but have you got future plans worked out? Sorry to be blunt. I just know that my mum n stepdad have got everything done to save hassle for families after... Sorry, I even have a DNR recorded, will etc and think that alone resolves thiughts in back of your minds.

Now... Just how are you doing with your diabetes? How is this stress impacting on you? Are you ok at managing your illness?
 

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
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837
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Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
No - we don't - he will not discuss and members of my family express concern his daughters just not going to cooperate either. I am actually going to ask my own daughter to come to meetings with me. I have no one else here, except cousins. But sons and brother abroad. I have put in for councelling for myself. Been feeling ill with this never cold for last week. I do not know how my blood sugars are. Not much I can do about how this affects them really.
 

Ruth B

Well-Known Member
Messages
447
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Just to say that while we may not be able to help much except with suggestions, remember you are not alone, we are here and if you feel the need to vent steam after a bad day, there are people here willing to listen and sympathise.
 

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
Messages
837
Dislikes
Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
Ruth B actually you have all been helpful and venting is often a great way of managing! Thank you:)
 

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
Messages
837
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Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
Got to point where for many reasons I want to get away from this small minded, !insular and uncaring family.
 

Ruth B

Well-Known Member
Messages
447
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
From what you have said that is quite understandable, not sure whether you are talking short or long term though. Is there anyone your husband could stay with or any type of respite care you could get, so you could get a way for a weekend alone, it might help you get yourself sorted.
 

HpprKM

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Messages
837
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Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
Long term! Hubbie tells me is ok - can manage for himself. Difficult to describe his difficulties from PK but can still wash, bath and cook. If he needs help the daughters who say to me there has no recent decline, but agreed with my daughter there has, will have to help. He has always been somewhat controlling - but I fought against it, he has started that again. Asks me constantly throughput each day what I am doing. Cannot get out alone except to Drs. Has been quite verbally abusive in supporting his daughters. I have head ache for 2 weeks and not feeling good. I am getting nothing but stress and bitterness from this relationship. Spoke on phone to Dr this morning she has called me on for checks. Blood sugar 14.1 - never been so high. Really scared for my health now. Waiting to see Dr having just seen nurse. Hubbie always treated diabetes as a joke - used to say I probably didn't even have it. He was a professional man with medical knowledge!
 

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
Messages
837
Dislikes
Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
First husband of 25 years was abusive - I am not going to stick this out again. Verbal abuse is almost, if not worse. It is insideous.
 

Ruth B

Well-Known Member
Messages
447
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
I hate to see a relationship break up, but I hate abusive partners even more. you have to think of your own health as it seems that no one on his side is even willing to consider your problems.

I know a bit about what condition your husband is in, I see it in my own father, he can look after himself most of the time, but my mother was in hospital having a knee replacement done earlier this year, he had a few days to himself before my sister went down to stay with him (I can't get time off work as easily) and even in those few days the absentmindedness showed through as he laughingly told me about burning food as he put in in the oven and then forgot about it, small things but scary to think what might have happened. Fortunately he has faced PK and can accept the limitations.

At least they booked the cats into the cattery, one is diabetic and on insulin injections twice a day.

Look after yourself and I hope you can sort things out, without him if need be.
 

Brunneria

Guru
Retired Moderator
Messages
21,889
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Can you stay with your daughter for a few days? You definitely need some space, urgently.

And when you contemplate going back, you will find your decision may have made itself.
A sense of sinking dread at the thought of returning to your normal life would be the decider.
 

HpprKM

Well-Known Member
Messages
837
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Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
Actually made great strides today. Saw Dr - she is such a nice person and knows my husband. I told her everything and she very empathetic. Her mother has PK. Agreed that hibbie and his daughters all have acceptance issues. I have booked for councelling as had so much going on with support for my son who lives abroad and is bipolar and had a crisis. Very stressful! We agreed that, although I got through that with more strength than I knew I had, much of howvi feel now is fall out. Also, she pointed out that I need a break as in non position to make big decision. This afternoon I had serious talk with hubbie. I talked of every concern I have, that I am happy to go on with him, but trying to make our two families one is not working and I feel better if we stop doing that. I explained all concerns regarding his health and mine long term. That I feel we should consider moving to flat or bungalow while we are still young enough to cope with move. I am hoping to get a few days away visiting family next momth. Hubbie said we could go away for break on our anniversary also next month. But, made it clear that I do not wish to 'rehouse' myself but if it meant my health and well being I would. Sadly, he feels I do not need to stress or worry about him - I told him quite bluntly that I do. He doesn't feel he has deteriorated much since dx four years ago. I could not dispute that - how could I? Would be cruel,.but he has just sent his notification to DVLA - so that says something. Early days yet, but I feel better for all this. As my daughter said 'empowered'. Only downside was 14.1 blood sugar. But just had my 6 monthly blood check at hospital so wait with baited breath for result. Last check was 6.1 - so 14.1 obviously not good, but along with stress I've been fighting a cold/virus for last two weeks.

So good of you to take time to write I fully understand what you say about your father. It is good to talk with someone who knows about PK. Talking of cats I have 17 year old rehomed cat, she has hyperthyroidism and is on meds - without them she is manic - bless her, such a sweetie. You take care also :)
 
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