Thanks Paul J and welcome to you. I would love to know why my pancreas packed up. My life style was healthy and I was always blessed with good health. I think because things "went wrong" even being healthy how could I justify even if I wanted to by eating loads of carbs and injecting higher and higher amounts of insulin I'd feel like I was purposely doing even more damage to myself. I don't mean this in any judgmental way it's just how I'd feel about it and I don't think I could cope. Does that make sense?