Need to talk to someone...

[Kerry-Michelle]

Hi guys

So I'm having a bit of a bad time at the moment just found out that I am pregnant don't know how many weeks exactly but roughly around 4-5 weeks..

I've been type 1 for 3 years now just don't know how to take it really me and the other half always have said we don't want kids this young I'm 23 he is 25 but we would like to in the future..

I've booked an appointment with the abortion clinic in my area but I'm not 100% sure if I want to go through with it or not.. It's 2 weeks away.. My other half is very supportive but I know deep down he is as scared as I am right now.. But I feel too guilty in some ways to carry on with the pregnancy because my recent hba1c is at 6.7% I know that it ideally needs to be around 6.1% and I'm scared because I wouldn't consider myself to be the healthiest I've been, before diagnosis I was fit and healthy and since I've struggled to keep weight off etc I haven't had a good time with diabetes but I've fought on..

I don't want to run the risk of making this child suffer with anything and causing complications for the child etc.. The worst part about this is I religiously take my contraceptive pill everyday at the same time and we are so very careful but this has literally popped up and I don't know how or why because we never risk it..

Sorry for babbling on.. The other half and I have decided not to tell any family members and just to keep it between us but I need to talk to someone who can advise me and help me think this through..

Apologies again,

Thank you in advance for reading my babble

X

 

[dancer]

If you have doubts about the abortion, don't go through with it.

If you have worries about the health of the baby, speak to someone at your diabetic clinic who can advise you.

It's a worrying time for you. I wish I had some better advice for you. Take care of yourself.

 

[SpikeThacker]

sounds like you're being pressured by your partener to have this abortion.....just stop and think for a moment. its your life, don't be bullied into rash decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life. like dancer said, the diabetes clinic staff can advise you about complications that might arise from being pregnant......and family members are pretty good sounding board for personal things like this, they will be shocked at first but will very quickly try and help you out

 

[Robinredbreast]

Oh you poor dear, I do feel for you. Honestly, it is you and your partner who can only make that decision. People can advise, support an guide you, but in the end it will have to be your choice. Do the positives out weigh the negatives ? But don't ever be pressured into doing anything that you may regret for the rest of your life.
Please take care and you will be in my thoughts.

All the best RRB x

 

[Natalie1974]

Hi @Kerry-Michelle. This is an enormous decision and one that only you can make.

Given your doubts maybe you should seek advice from your parents or someone else that you trust.

I was younger than you...only 19 in fact when I had my daughter...under very similar circumstances...the pill failed me...and I couldn't bring myself to go through with an abortion so I went ahead and had my daughter who is now just slightly younger than you at nearly 22. Would I change anything? Absolutely not...she's my world. But that doesn't mean it's been easy...my partner and I split when she was 2 and I've spent much of the last 20 years raising her on my own on very little money and with very little support from her dad...I've missed out on numerous opportunities in terms of careers...university etc as well as watching my friends
enjoying holidays...fancy cars...clothes etc. Is your relationship strong enough to last the distance? Are you working...studying? Are you prepared to make these kind of sacrifices?

On the flip side...to give a balanced view...I am now 40 and despite the hardships of the last 20 years...I've worked hard and have only 3 years left on my mortgage...my daughter and I now enjoy a comfortable(ish) lifestyle and are really close...it's proof that it can be done with a little grit and determination.

I can understand your fears in terms of your health and this really should be a big consideration...carrying a baby puts a huge strain on the body...more so as a diabetic...I was diagnosed when my daughter was 6 so I have no experience of diabetes and pregnancy but I'm sure there are people here who can advise on this or maybe you could speak with your diabetes team in regards to this if you want to consider that option.

Maybe most importantly you and your partner need to be in complete agreement in whatever you decide so not to cause any resentment between you but please remember also that ultimately it's your body...it's your health and it will be you left holding the baby if anything goes wrong.

If your relationship is strong...you will still be together in a few years time and when the time is right...your BG is under control and you're both ready to embrace the challenges of parenthood you can give it another go.

I wish you both the very best in whatever you decide. X

 

[Juicyj]

Hi Kerry,

I fell pregnant by accident and I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes when I was 23 weeks which went onto to become type 1. To be honest I think I was diabetic a long time before this but it wasn't picked up until later on as I was hungry all the time and completely knackered, I was so worried when I found out I was diabetic because all I could think about was the health of my child, apart from being induced at 37 weeks because of the diabetes I was fortunate to deliver a healthy girl. Once the docs knew I was diabetic they really looked after me, I dread to think now what my HbA1c was like ! My advice is if you do decide to go through with it you will be supported by your team who will look after you, there is never a right time to have a child and when you plan to have one it may not be that easy to conceive, whatever happens it's not the end of the world and I'm sure you have a caring supportive family too so try not to take on this burden yourself but share with someone close too, good luck whatever you decide x

 

[Kerry-Michelle]

Thank you for all of your support and sharing your stories and advice with me guys I really do appreciate it all!
I am having a tough time at the moment I haven't been feeling well for weeks and I only found out yesterday afternoon but it's all making sense I have a really swollen tummy at the moment and terrible cramping, my BS have been within my daily target ranges and I haven't had to take any corrections or anything, I've tried to ring the doctors for advice but completely forgot it is the weekend! I just don't feel ready yet and I am going to ring the doctors ASAP on Monday and see someone about this.. I am trying to let it sink in at the moment, unfortunately I don't have a very trusting family because not many of my family can keep something to themselves, I'm feeling really paranoid that people will tell when they see me I know I put it to be 4-5 weeks along but I've done some reading and my last period wasn't quite right so I'm concerned I could be further along especially as in the last two weeks I've put on nearly a stone in weight and I've been really tired for a long time now and really really sore in areas.. I noticed two weeks ago that I was bloating I usually suffer really bad with bloating so put it down to an upset tummy which I had but since then it hasn't gone down.. And after finding out yesterday it all made sense... Hopefully I can get the right advice with the doctors etc and make my decision..

I really do appreciate you guys for all of your help!!! And I'm thankful to have the opportunity to talk to people who won't judge and who are understanding

️ to you all! X

 

[BooJewels]

I can't possibly add anything any more useful than the lovely replies you've already had. I can only imagine how difficult any decisions might be for you at the moment, especially if you don't feel that you have anyone 'real' close by you can confide in and talk things over with.

I just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts and I send you a big late night hug from Lancashire.

 

[Fayefaye1429]

Hi Kerry wow hard time for you. I am guessing from what you wrote you did a home pregnancy test? All I can add is what do you need this weekend to get you through to Monday? Could maybe writing down questions to ask you doctor or nurse help? I guess it is what will help just to give you space till Monday? I guess what I am thinking is naturally it will be in your mind but there my be little you can do till you have more information and you deserve to relax s much as you can. It sounds like contraception wise you both did everything you could, you have super readings and you have done everything that you needed to do to prevent pregnancy so you might not be but if not ignore this but you did all you could and to be very kind to yourself. We all here listening (well reading) and I can say definitely from me I'll be on as much of the journey with you as you like through cyber world. Hugs to you

 

[Natalie1974]

Hey @Kerry-Michelle.
I can imagine that your mind is in turmoil at the moment...I recall this feeling well...even 22 years on ...but please try to keep calm...use this weekend to talk things through openly with your boyfriend...discuss all possibilities and consider all the big questions thoroughly.

It's a real shame you don't feel you can't talk to your family...it's at times like this that family can be a really good sounding board. What about your boyfriends family?

Will your boyfriend come along to doctors appointment? It may be useful to have him there with you...be good for him to hear what the doctor has to say so that he is aware and can help you to make an informed decision.

My thoughts are with you...treat yourself today...do something you enjoy...a bit of retail therapy...trip to the beach...anything that will help to take your mind of it x

 

[Kerry-Michelle]

My other half is amazingly supportive yes we are going to the doctors and if I do decided to continue with the termination he will be with me all the way, we've always been a strong team and I know how he feels about this, he wants me to be happy and to be safe and for the child too, we are going out today to see his family, his mum and I are very similar in personalities, attitudes and everything to be honest so I'm going to tell her I think as she is very reliable and trust worthy, we are going out for breakfast this morning to our favourite breakfast restaurant so hopefully I can hold it together today! I've spent most of Friday night crying and pretty much all day yesterday crying today is a new day just going to put it to the back of my mind and try and concentrate on tasks at hand

Thank your for all of your wishes!!

I wish that you all have a fabulous day and the very best to you all your all stars!!!

X

 

[BooJewels]

I hope that you have a good day today pet - sounds like you're taking all the right steps to get through it the best that you can. Your boyfriend's Mum sounds a good one to talk to. Another perspective can throw up some surprising ideas you perhaps hadn't considered, so hopefully talking with her will really help you sort out your thoughts.

I hope that it's a good day for you, thinking of you.

 

[Natalie1974]

Hey @Kerry-Michelle. Sorry not meaning to bug you...just interested to see how you're getting on.
How'd it go with boyfriends parents...were you brave enough? I know it's a tough one...and not an easy one discuss...just wondering how you got on. Also did you manage to book an appointment with your doctor?
Thinking of you x

 

[Fayefaye1429]

Agree with Natalie hope your ok

 

[himtoo]

tough one @Kerry-Michelle -- i never had any children and really did not want any due to the diabetes.
but times have changed and the care is so much better now for pregnant women.

 

[JRW]

Hi guys

So I'm having a bit of a bad time at the moment just found out that I am pregnant don't know how many weeks exactly but roughly around 4-5 weeks..

I've been type 1 for 3 years now just don't know how to take it really me and the other half always have said we don't want kids this young I'm 23 he is 25 but we would like to in the future..

I've booked an appointment with the abortion clinic in my area but I'm not 100% sure if I want to go through with it or not.. It's 2 weeks away.. My other half is very supportive but I know deep down he is as scared as I am right now.. But I feel too guilty in some ways to carry on with the pregnancy because my recent hba1c is at 6.7% I know that it ideally needs to be around 6.1% and I'm scared because I wouldn't consider myself to be the healthiest I've been, before diagnosis I was fit and healthy and since I've struggled to keep weight off etc I haven't had a good time with diabetes but I've fought on..

I don't want to run the risk of making this child suffer with anything and causing complications for the child etc.. The worst part about this is I religiously take my contraceptive pill everyday at the same time and we are so very careful but this has literally popped up and I don't know how or why because we never risk it..

Sorry for babbling on.. The other half and I have decided not to tell any family members and just to keep it between us but I need to talk to someone who can advise me and help me think this through..

Apologies again,

Thank you in advance for reading my babble

X

I am T1, and my wife and I have been struggling to conceive, I'd snap your hand off to have the opportunity to conceive,

 

[Fayefaye1429]

J r w I can understand but I guess your both in different places in life

 

[Sarahkylie7]

Hi,

I'm so sorry u are feeling like this! I was in pretty much the same situation a few years ago.

My partner and I wanted children, but I was told I had pcos. Long story short, I ended up getting pregnant, I was 22 at the time, ideally I would have liked to have waited a few years. I had to weigh up my options, I could not have that child and then struggle to have one in the future and deal with all the heartbreak then. Once j thought about it like that we realised that in fact this was a miracle baby!

I spoke to my diabetes team, why by the way we're absolutely incredible, going above and beyond in every way to help me! My hba1c was 6.9% at that time, I did get it down to 6.5% at points during my pregnancy.

My pregnancy wasn't easy, I won't sugar-coat it! I did have some problems with hormones and high bloods, they would have been easier to control if I was on the pump, but I wasn't (this is something I am looking into so we can hopefully try in the future).

My little boy was born at 38 weeks, he was very big, but after a couple of weeks in special care he is now very healthy and completely normal weight and I wouldn't change a thing!

It really is a decision only you and your partner can make together, but give it time. Think about the future too, if you were thinking about having children in a couple of years, is it going to be a drastic difference having one a little sooner? I know there will be all sorts of factors to consider and it must be a stressful time for you, I do remember it being. I urge you to see your diabetes centre and speak to them also. I have had a friend who did have an abortion as her diabetes wasn't under control at all, but the nurses talked her through and offered a lot f support.

Take your time, look after yourself and baby, so they if u do decide to continue you have taken care of yourself.

If u have any questions I can help with, just ask.

Stay strong x x x x x

 

[s-s-i-i-c-c-k-k]

The possibility of the baby to inherit diabetes is 50%. After giving birth the blood sugars may return to a normal range. It's hard, I know, but if you really have doubts about the abortion just don't do it. Think about what you are going through, if it's worth losing what you have. Good luck!

 

[Juicyj]

The possibility of the baby to inherit diabetes is 50%. After giving birth the blood sugars may return to a normal range. It's hard, I know, but if you really have doubts about the abortion just don't do it. Think about what you are going through, if it's worth losing what you have. Good luck!

Where did you get this information from ?? Ok so there is a small risk of your child getting type 1 if you have it - however the chances are more like 10% not 50%. Please check your info carefully before suggesting this as it sounds like a scaremongering fact and to be honest when I was pregnant thinking that my child might inherit this illness was the last thing on my mind, head awash with hormones, panic etc. I certainly didn't think about losing anything by having my child, I was gaining something more valuable by having a child. I have friends who have struggled and miscarried many times, so realising how others had struggled made me realise how precious and fortunate we were.

Every child is a miracle and this is exactly how I saw my child, once i'd got my head round it I just got on with it, it is a decision that stays with you for life whatever you decide but realising from all sides and taking an intuitive decision about what is right for you is more important - not to scare someone with ill quoted facts.