Type1. Why can't I get it right?

[itsthatbecky]

So I have been a Type 1 diabetic for 15 years. I am 19 years old and have been through the 'burn out' stage with my diabetes. However for a few years now I have been wanting to make it better and live a healthy normal life for myself. Right now I just can't seem to push myself further? Once the legs bruise and the fingers don't give me blood, I stop. I try to push myself and it just feels like I cannot. So for about 6 years I've had really bad management and over the last two I've wanted to get better. Are things this way simply because of it being a bad habit to break? Is it more than that? I have had therapy to help me think differently about how I see diabetes and ways to cope but nothing seems to work?
I also have a rubbish team at my hospital, I might as well be alone as that's pretty much how it is anyway.
I've heard 'Try more blood tests' 'See someone about it' 'Tell your DSN' Nothing works and I have no support from my hospital.
I just don't see this ever ending, if it was to get better, it would of even slightly by now?

 

[ButtterflyLady]

Like everything in life, you get out what you put in. Managing diabetes is boring, you have to do the same things every day just to get by and not risk complications. Set shorter term goals like managing your diabetes well today, then for this week, then this month. Don't think about the years ahead, take it one day at a time. Write down the levels you would like to have, make them achievable goals and set a timeframe you think it will take to get there. If you get off track, pick yourself up and get back on.

Having a lifelong illness sucks. I tell myself how lucky I am that there is a treatment, and that things are not worse. Dwelling on the negatives just brings me down, so I look for the positives as much as I can. Having professionals that aren't very good sucks too. Either ask to see someone else, or be assertive with them and get what help you can out of them.

 

[Daibell]

Hi. You have my sympathy for someone so young with diabetes. Can I assume you have had good guidance from your diabetes team at least for injecting and lancing? Apologies for asking the obvious, but do you use the shortest needles for your BMI level e.g. 4mm typically to minimise bruising. Do you just use your legs or rotate around the body; I know some people bruise more easily than others and I'm lucky on that score. Do you run your fingers under a warm tap before lancing (a nurse friend told me that). Do you have a reasonable BMI and low'ish carb diet to help keep the insulin units down and minimise bruising. You may be doing all the right things, but worth asking just in case. I hope you can find someone to give you better support locally.

 

[bonus]

I know how you feel! I'm 26 and been there like many others here have been. I found just reading all the info I could and trying to discuss things with a specialist when I get the chance too. All the best!

 

[himtoo]

hi @itsthatbecky
aww hun bless you -- sending loads of hugs [[[[[hugs]]]]]
it sounds like you are going thru the wringer with your D right now.
I can tell you that you are not alone and that loads of us have had the sort of feelings you are experiencing.

if you can keep posting we will try and help you to get to a place that you can regain your self and get on top of this.
it will get better.

i am tagging some of my friends on here to help too @mammamia2006 , @Mrsass , @noblehead , @Jaylee ,@Robinredbreast , @LucySW , @Natalie1974 . @ewelina

 

[Robinredbreast]

So I have been a Type 1 diabetic for 15 years. I am 19 years old and have been through the 'burn out' stage with my diabetes. However for a few years now I have been wanting to make it better and live a healthy normal life for myself. Right now I just can't seem to push myself further? Once the legs bruise and the fingers don't give me blood, I stop. I try to push myself and it just feels like I cannot. So for about 6 years I've had really bad management and over the last two I've wanted to get better. Are things this way simply because of it being a bad habit to break? Is it more than that? I have had therapy to help me think differently about how I see diabetes and ways to cope but nothing seems to work?
I also have a rubbish team at my hospital, I might as well be alone as that's pretty much how it is anyway.
I've heard 'Try more blood tests' 'See someone about it' 'Tell your DSN' Nothing works and I have no support from my hospital.
I just don't see this ever ending, if it was to get better, it would of even slightly by now?

Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your diabetes problems, I see you tried therapy which was a start, but doesn't work for everyone. Have you tried writing in a diary, putting your thoughts into it for each day.
It's sad to hear you feel you are not getting the proper support, help and guidance. I have had a few up and down's and it just makes you want to scream sometimes, because the more you try, the more it seems to be going backwards instead of forwards. Do you like Art, as you could try painting/drawing as a different kind of therapy.
Another good thing is to write down small goals, Today I am going to do, or say, or try ....................... and see if that will help. Try taking a small step each day, when it has gone well give yourself a little pat on the back, if it doesn't go well, don't blame yourself or beat yourself up. It's not a short trip, it could be a longer haul.
There is a thread called 'Diabetes Burnout' which might be helpful to you.
I do hope you can find some peace with your diabetes, with a more positive and a happy future.

Good luck and take care

RRB

 

[ConradJ]

So I have been a Type 1 diabetic for 15 years. I am 19 years old and have been through the 'burn out' stage with my diabetes. However for a few years now I have been wanting to make it better and live a healthy normal life for myself. Right now I just can't seem to push myself further? Once the legs bruise and the fingers don't give me blood, I stop. I try to push myself and it just feels like I cannot. So for about 6 years I've had really bad management and over the last two I've wanted to get better. Are things this way simply because of it being a bad habit to break? Is it more than that? I have had therapy to help me think differently about how I see diabetes and ways to cope but nothing seems to work?
I also have a rubbish team at my hospital, I might as well be alone as that's pretty much how it is anyway.
I've heard 'Try more blood tests' 'See someone about it' 'Tell your DSN' Nothing works and I have no support from my hospital.
I just don't see this ever ending, if it was to get better, it would of even slightly by now?

Hi there @itsthatbecky

I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling and how things are going for you; I've been there too - and it really sucks.

I gone through burnout several times over the years then found this forum and also started to read "Dealing with diabetes burnout" by Ginger Viera. The combination of real-life, real-time empathy, understanding, hints and tips, and the solid words of published books have really helped me overcome the obstacles to the emotional and psychological feelings and the small habits that would undermine my attempts at gaining good control.

Go back to basics:

As @Daibell asks: what are your injection and blood testing techniques like? That can make all the difference between erratic results / insulin performance and stable results / insulin performance. Check out Youtube for videos on correct injection and blood testing techniques - the Yanks love putting them online, but that doesn't make their message any less relevant!

What blood meter do you use? Get something like the Accu-Chek Aviva Expert with its built-in bolus calculator ( https://www.accu-chek.co.uk/gb/products/metersystems/index.html?product=avivaexpert ) to help you minimise bolus errors at mealtimes.

Download the "Carbs & Cals" app and use it in conjuction with your smartphone's built-in calculator to correctly calculate the carbs content of your meals and snacks.

Consider reducing the carb content of your meals so that you can work on getting your insulin to carb ratios right (the more carbs you eat, the more insulin you need - but if your I:C ratio is wrong then the more carbs you eat = bigger dosing errors).

Don't expect or try to achieve massive changes / improvements - that usually results in failure and frustration and the cycle of doom, which is where you're at right now.

Get organised, and aim for small improvements for each period of the day (e.g. night-time, wake-up, mid-morn, etc.) because improvements in one period WILL have a knock on effect upon the following parts of the day - and not all of those knock-ons will be as you may expect / plan / want them to be!

Can you change to another hospital? If so, see your GP and get it done.

How is your family / peer support? Empathetic, understanding and supportive or something else? Even if you are getting excellent support from them in reality they'll never quite 'get it' unless they too 'have it'... as @himtoo says, keep posting on here and we will do all we can to help you get back on track.

I send you a warm hug and my very best wishes.

Conrad

 

[ConradJ]

Watch this video too; if nothing else you'll laugh in total understanding

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @itsthatbecky

I would agree with the plans of action already posted above..
An app like "Diaconnect" where logging BS, carbs, doses, excersise, notes about illness & stuff like that is an idea to consider?
You may not like what you see regarding the trends at first. (Try not to worry about this.) But you will notice a pattern which can help you & your D team which will give you a coherent starting point. You may even realize your doing better than you actually thought.
One isolated bad test result can be a downer. But in the context of overall tighter managment more like a minor annoyance..?

Any problems or queries could also be posted on here using a "screenshot" of the results on the app too. Always a big help if you need friendly feedback from other Ds too..

I wish you all the best!

 

[CapnGrumpy]

Little steps help.

You want to improve your control. That's a good starting point, isn't it?
Your hospital team haven't given you the answers you've been looking for, so you've asked a forum full of people with many years of practical experience in managing diabetes for advice. That seems like a good idea, too.

So that's two things that are positive.

You won't change everything overnight, but you've already made a start.

 

[tinyroman]

Hi Becky. I've always found having diabetes so frustrating, and like you have been through burn outs. Recently I was referred to a psychologist who deals specifically with diabetes and COPD. I know you've already done this, and I've been to counselling and another psychologist who was non-specific and found it useless too. This one is different; I've found it's making a difference with the way I've always thought about about my handling of the condition (35 years now).
He's stressed that there's a difference between management and control. If I'm doing my honest best in managing - testing, injecting, eating properly, looking after myself - then in theory I should have good control. If it goes awry then it's NOT MY FAULT! Our control can go off for any number of reasons, illness, stress and sometimes even for no reason we can see, we're all different and there's no one way of doing things. As part of good management I need to try to identify the reason for the lack of control and perhaps make adjustments. If I can't identify reasons it's no use beating myself up.
So now if I've got a high blood sugar and I know it's due to that Bounty bar I ate because I just couldn't resist, then I accept blame. If there's nothing I can think of, I'm learning to shrug my shoulders, adjust insulin, and get on with it.
Sorry this has been so long, but I hope it may help a little bit. All my best wishes.

 

[CarbsRok]

So I have been a Type 1 diabetic for 15 years. I am 19 years old and have been through the 'burn out' stage with my diabetes. However for a few years now I have been wanting to make it better and live a healthy normal life for myself. Right now I just can't seem to push myself further? Once the legs bruise and the fingers don't give me blood, I stop. I try to push myself and it just feels like I cannot. So for about 6 years I've had really bad management and over the last two I've wanted to get better. Are things this way simply because of it being a bad habit to break? Is it more than that? I have had therapy to help me think differently about how I see diabetes and ways to cope but nothing seems to work?
I also have a rubbish team at my hospital, I might as well be alone as that's pretty much how it is anyway.
I've heard 'Try more blood tests' 'See someone about it' 'Tell your DSN' Nothing works and I have no support from my hospital.
I just don't see this ever ending, if it was to get better, it would of even slightly by now?

Hello Becky,
first things first go talk to your GP and ask for a change of hospital so you can get the care you so desperately need.

Legs bruising is an indication of the wrong size or type of needle being used, this needs to b addressed asp.
Fingers check your poker and make sure you have the poker set at the right level also make sure your hands are nice and warm so the blood flows better.
Also have you tried different sites for your injections rather than your legs?