type 1 severe depression

[onehand]

Ive been type 1 all my life and I'm now realising how miserable I've been after being stopped from doing all the jobs that I've wanted to do and not being allowed on certain activity holidays due to my diabetes . I really am thinking whats the point any more as I'm not happy and don't think I've ever truly been happy . Im sick of always having to carry my insulin, test kit, hypo stop, with me everywhere, and thinking about sugar levels the whole time even before I can just walk out to the shops or go anywhere .

 

[Mrsass]

Hi @onehand why has your diabetes stopped you doing things? I've had it all my life and it's never stopped me doing anything, yeah there can be challenges but if I set my mind to something I stay positive and do it. I know that is easier said than done. Have you spoke to anyone about your depression? Carry everything with you can be a right pain, but I just think of it like, it's what keeps me alive, so if I have to carry the kitchen sink I will

 

[TorqPenderloin]

I'm glad you're here. We are hear to listen and I hope there will be opportunities for us to help each other.

Let me ask, what kinds of things do you enjoy or do for fun?

Of note: I was diagnosed with type 1 a little over a month ago. Maybe you could give me some suggestions/help as a new diabetic.

Best of luck and I hope your day gets brighter,
Mark

 

[onehand]

ok im 43 yrs old male and can't just put on a pair of jeans and T-shirt and just walk out the door . I know this seam stupid But like I said I have to carry a small bag to put everything in insulin test kit gluco gel . And I never feel relaxed EVER . This may seam really silly and pathetic But its these little thing you cope with to begin with and then become really angry later on in life which is what I'm finding out now

 

[noblehead]

Welcome to the forum @onehand.

Second what @Mrsass says about seeking help for your depression if things are becoming overwhelming, although diabetes can be a pain it shouldn't stop you from doing the things you want to do.

 

[Daibell]

Hi. Can I check that you are using a current insulin regime such as Basal/Bolus pens with current insulins? I've sometimes seen posts from longterm T1s who are still using very old prescriptions which are not so convenient. I only carry a small packet of glucose tablets which dissolve very quickly in the mouth and I'm sure are as useful as glucogel etc. I am surprised there are some activities you say you can't pursue. Anyone who discriminates without good reason is trangressing the Disability Discrimination Act. Yes, carrying a test kit as well as the pens is a nuisance but I usually leave my test kit in the car depending on what I'm doing.

 

[onehand]

yes I'm using novo rapid and lantas and night also those gluco sweets are no good i carry the small thing of gluco gel everywhere plus my test kit witch is the smallest onetouch possible But still need to always carry a small bag to put in. These things may be small but after dealing with this all my life you may think this sounds stupid and written down it is But growing up as a teenager and always being left out of sports or best you don't do that attitude from people WHATS THE POINT.

 

[azure]

Everyone here understands your frustration @onehand Yes, it is incredibly annoying, having to think before you do anything and having to take a load of extra things with you. I suppose I just try to think about it as routine and throw my meter, etc in my bag just like I do my phone and purse.

I think people without diabetes find it hard to understand the ever-present nature of it. There's never a day off. If you have a look round this forum, particularly in the Type 1 section, you'll find lots of advice to read. I also think reading about other people with diabetes helps because that way you don't feel alone.

Are you getting any help with your depression?

 

[Bluemarine Josephine]

Hello Onehand,

The most important element to self-healing is the ability to be present with yourself.
You cannot begin if you are preoccupied with the past or living in the expectations of future times or what you would like for yourself. All these do is scatter your ability to focus and leave you powerless.

Being in the present will begin the process of releasing powerful emotions that have been masked or blocked. It means courageously looking back and inward on a pain originally based on a fear…..an often painful process we all try desperately to avoid. AND when we avoid pain, we experience frustration, anger and exhaustion…..our bodies only get sicker.

Taking care of yourself requires discipline and focus……it takes a lot of courage to nourish and respectfully pay attention to YOU. It is your right and responsibility, as well as your joy to love yourself and be loved.

Do you believe in the metaphysics of a disease?
The brain is the first to record traumatic events and experiences.
When the brain can’t handle the excess stress it passes it on to an organ in the body, which immediately records the emotion.
The need to be loved is a secret hunger for the Pancreas. Eating is a social act that has deep emotional meanings.
Early in life food somehow got mixed up with love and caring — we started eating because we felt undernourished and/or didn’t get enough nurturing. There are also some of us who eat to feed the hungers caused by stress or loneliness. All this has an impact on our pancreas, affecting our energy, our attitudes and blocking our metabolism.

The Pancreas is also extremely vulnerable to intense emotions and feelings caused by a reaction to an outer event. In fact both the spleen and pancreas react to serious events that can affect us for life. These two organs absorb most of our severe shocks.

Emotional shocks felt physically and emotionally by the body are recorded by the unconscious mind in two-thousandths of a second! Physically we can dress and heal our outer wounds but the memories of the trauma become imprinted in the unconscious mind.

If each organ has a representation, the pancreas represents the sweetness of life.
Probable Cause: Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.
Affirmation: This moment is filled with joy. I now choose to experience the sweetness of today.
Affirmation: My life is sweet.
Probable Cause: Rejection. Anger and frustration because life seems to have lost its sweetness.
Affirmation: I love and approve of myself, and I alone create sweetness and joy in my life.

There is someone in a hospital right now begging for the chance that you have (even if it means that you have to go around carrying a bag.) Step into your moment.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

Regards
Josephine

 

[RuthW]

One hand, I'm 53 and I have had diabetes for 48 years. Yes, it was very tough back then, and sometimes it is tough now. When I was young I hated the lack of spontaneity and the feelings of exclusion. As I have got older two things have happened. The treatment and delivery methods have got better, smaller and more discreet, and I myself have learned to include other people. I have found that being more open about my diabetes allows me to sort out very quickly who to choose as friends, and I also pick up very quickly on other people who feel excluded from " the circle" for other reasons.

So, my life has got much better in the last few years and keeps getting better.

So, for example, you hated not playing sports when you were young. But you ARE young. My sister is fifty. Two years ago she started running. Nowadays she runs marathons and cross-Scotland races. My brother-in-law (by another sister) is fifty-three and has just started fell-running. I'm fifty-three and I do a range of activities, including hill-walking and weights. In fact I did more when I was younger. I did two different martial arts, for example.

You're not too old. Start doing whatever inspires you NOW. The more you do, the healthier and happier you will be. You could have another 40 years in front of you. Start now!

 

[onehand]

if i was allowed to do the things that truly interest me then yes i would not complain BUT NO Im not allowed due to my diabetes the only things I enjoy and unable to do due to my diabetes . its as simple as that we all have to make compromises but all I've ever done is compromise my whole life . I know this is a negative feedback back its the truth in reality

 

[Robinredbreast]

Hi this link may be helpful to tyou :- http://www.iddt.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Stress-Anxiety-Depression.pdf

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down and when it hit's people, it can be so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
There is a Scream thread on here and a Diabetes Burnout thread too, please have a look at both and try to use them if you can.
With my best wishes, take care RRB

 

[Mike d]

@Bluemarine Josephine

Brilliant Simply brilliant

Mike

 

[michaeldavid]

Actually, onehand, you don't need to carry a flaming 'purse' full of kit around.

I don't use a pen injector, just a disposable syringe.

I don't need a meter, normally. I mostly use visually read strips (which I cut with scissors into striplets): Glucoflex-R or Betachek Visual. They both come in a very small pot. (And I don't use any nasty spring-loaded gadget to get the blood, just a bare lancet - which I use again and again.)

In an even smaller pot, I carry some jelly beans.

However, most important for me during the day is rye bread (with pear and apple spread): if I go out, I take it with me. By eating rye bread steadily during the day, hypos are far less of a threat. (It's slowly digested, so a dribble of glucose is constantly entering the bloodstream.) But I don't eat any after 3.00pm, or my blood sugar would rise later in the evening and overnight.

It's my diet that allows me to safely keep my blood sugar near normal all of the time.(My last HbA1c was 26mmol/mol.)

And 'feeding' the insulin allows me to ensure that, at bedtime, the insulin I took earlier is exhausted. (See some of my recent postings.) So I sleep safe.

Let me repeat: eat well, and dump the needless junk.

Reverse reverse-Luddism now!

 

[azure]

if i was allowed to do the things that truly interest me then yes i would not complain BUT NO Im not allowed due to my diabetes the only things I enjoy and unable to do due to my diabetes . its as simple as that we all have to make compromises but all I've ever done is compromise my whole life . I know this is a negative feedback back its the truth in reality

What things are you unable to do, onehand? It's sad if you can't find anything you enjoy that you can do. I hope there is something that brings you pleasure.

I think we all have times when we wonder about our lives and worry that maybe we could have done more, or made different choices, but if it's really getting you down, then could you speak to someone and get some support? Or would it help to vent some more here? If so, please do. There are plenty of people here to listen