19 year daughter just diagnosed with type 1, help

bos5

Member
Messages
14
Please has any parent got some advice on how to talk and advise a teenager just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I am at my wits end trying to talk to my daughter, I know I am going on a bit, but just want to make sure she is understanding everything. She wont even let me explain things to her friends on how to help during hypo's etc. She hates me even talking about it.
 

ams162

Well-Known Member
Messages
572
Type of diabetes
Type 1
sounds like abit of denial which is understandable diabetes is a hard lifestyle change to get used to whatever ur age, my son was only 4 so cant help with the advice on teenagers hes now 9 and copes fantastically as will ur daughter once she gets her head around it.

its all a steep learning curve but does get easier with time hopefully someone with older kids will be along soon

anna marie
 

imalittlefishy

Well-Known Member
Messages
108
I'm not a parent, but a 19 year old type 1 who was diagnosed age 11. It does take a while to accept things, I know I HATED my parents telling people who I didn't consider "need to know" that I had diabetes...it does get better with time. I'm sure she's taking in more than you realise, rather than pushing her maybe just try to make sure she knows you're there if she doesn't understand anything? If she'd like to talk to a fellow diabetic of the same age, she's welcome to pm me :) It is horribly stressful at the beginning, but, not to gloss over the impact it has, you do get used to everything surprisingly quickly and it just becomes second nature. Good luck to both of you.
Maggie
xx
 

bos5

Member
Messages
14
Thankyou both for your advice. I am just panic stricken with this news and know its my daughter who has to deal with this, I just want to support her as best as possible and I'm terrified of anything happening to her. She is just at the age where she wants to go out and party and be independant and I just cant get it through to her the risks.

xx
 

ams162

Well-Known Member
Messages
572
Type of diabetes
Type 1
i must admit im terrified of the days dylan goes out hoping that we have taught him well and he listens, at least we have had a few years to prepare him tho. i feel for u hun nothing gives u more worry than ur kids, ive cried so many tears because of dylan having diabetes but i do feel 4 years down the line that we are getting somewhere and have found the solution for dylan in his insulin pump i never would of thought some numbers could make me smile so much.

i hope someone comes along with some good advice for u soon in the mean time im here to help if i can :D

anna marie
 

SophiaW

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,015
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Hi, I'm sorry for your daughter's diagnosis. I think at 19 that's a very hard age to discover you have Type 1 Diabetes. I don't have any experience of a teenager being diagnosed but have you spoken with your diabetes nurse for further advice? Your daughter may be feeling resentful and directing her feelings towards you as you're the closest person to her. Perhaps the information coming from someone else may enable her to take it in more easily. There may also be a support or social group your nurse can tell you about for teenagers with type 1. I think it's important that your daughter's friends understand about type 1 diabetes and how this will affect your daughter. If they can understand how it affects your daughter they may be more supportive in helping her to avoid situations which are not good for her health. But your daughter will need to be supportive of discussing this with her friends. It may be that she needs to come to terms with it all first before she's comfortable to start talking to her friends about it. We all handle stress and grief in different ways so it's important to be respectful of your daughter's wishes whilst also trying to support her. Not easy I'm sure.
 

Snodger

Well-Known Member
Messages
787
I was diagnosed aged 19 and had exactly the same response as your daughter. I fell out with my mum very badly. I did other things I'm not going to discuss on here!

Having been there, the advice my mum and I would give is:
- your daughter needs space to understand what it means for *her* to have diabetes (in praactical terms, emotional terms, and self-identity). No amount of you telling her what she ought to be doing can bring her to that understanding, she has to get there by herself. I am incredibly grateful to my mum that she realised this (not immediately, but she did in the end) and although it must have been so scary for her, she let me go and make my own mistakes. As a result, I got out of denial and into responsibility a lot faster than I would have if she hadn't stepped back.
- it is still very possible for your daughter to party, and to be independent. Her diagnosis means she has to understand a bit more about the way her body works - but she can still do the things her friends are doing. Diabetes is annoying sometimes but it's not a prison sentence.
- it's great if your daughter can find others with Type 1 to support her, that's very good advice indeed, and ALSO! you need support and help yourself, from people who can listen to all your fears. Yes, it's tough for her, but it's also very tough for you. My mum struggled with all those emotions by herself and didn't share the problems, and it would have been much better if she'd found a counsellor or someone who she could have just poured out her heart to.

now, many years on, I am long out the other side and I have some good things to say that I hope will make you feel better:
a) physically, I came through it; I am very much alive and well and in control of my diabetes (as much as anyone ever is!)
b) emotionally, my mum and I came through it; we are very good friends now and we can talk together about those bad times and laugh and hug

Good luck, you have all our good wishes!
 

bos5

Member
Messages
14
Thank you all so much, things have been better today and she is discussing things with me, she is just trying to get her head round everything and is starting to trust what I say. We both talked to the diabetic nurse over the phone and both came to the same conclusions. We have not been on a Carb counting course yet but I bought the book recommended by the dietician and I now realise how much insulin v's carbs now and spoke to the nurse about this. She is starting to realise now what is best to eat and what nots and to carry snacks etc on her. The nurses are controlling her insulin at the moment and at least when we called with low blood sugar counts they advised us that we can reduce the insulin if things get to low so at least we feel we have some control over diet and insulin now. Its all a steep learning curve and we will get there, this site has been more supportive than anything we have received so far. No councelling or support just get on with it kind off thing. We will be going on a course soon and this will help greatly I'm sure. Thank you once again for all your understanding of both my daughter and my situation.
 

bos5

Member
Messages
14
My daughter nearly had a hypo tonight, the insulin is a little high and we are going to reduce the fast acting now, at least we feel we are in control a little. I predicted this due to carbs-insulin and was aware of what the results would be. She did not want to tell anyone but did afterwards. her legs went weak and she felt shaky and she dealt with it by taking some lucozade, gloucoze tabs and them a bagel and jam. God love her she overdid it and her sugers are high now but its her first andI'm so proud of her but asked her to tell us as it may not go as good next time. xxx thanks for all help p.s I love my daughter
 

Snodger

Well-Known Member
Messages
787
Now she knows what it feels like to be hypo, which is a really valuable part of learning about type 1. It's very easy to overtreat hypos, especially at the beginning - I can remember feeling so gnawingly hungry and shaky that I would have eaten a cake the size of a house!
 

ams162

Well-Known Member
Messages
572
Type of diabetes
Type 1
well done to ur daughter for treating the hypo yes she may have over done it but we have all done that before and some of us with clear heads too :lol:

sounds like things are improving with ur initial worries which is great and it will all get easier with time i can promise u that but it does soundlike ur daughter has made a fab start

i think its one of the hardest things in the world to see ur child go through something like this i remember dylans first hypo it scared me so much i left him running higher for weeks scared for him to have another, however now we dont even blink an eye treat it and move on

just wanted to say well done to u both and continue the good work

anna marie
 

Lordy100

Well-Known Member
Messages
69
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Not many things
Have you suggested she comes on this site? It has lots of valuable advice and she can look at all the things on her own, ask questions without being judged. If you can suggest that she goes on a DAFNE course, if you have them in your area.

Good luck
 

ebony321

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Messages
1,299
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Tomatoes, Rude people, Bees!
Hi,

I'm glad she seems to be taking it all a bit better now :)

I was diagnosed aged 20 so i understand it's quite a shock for someone around that age. Not easy to hear when you are just starting to do your own thing and want to be independant.

I'm sure the more she gets used to it the more she will talk with her friends about it too.

Encourage her to share her BG results and when she feel's like her BG is low. My mum used to demand i show her and she used to ask ALL the time, i know she was just being a concerned mum but i felt like it was too much and i just wanted all the hype about it to settle down.

For a first hypo it actually seems like she did pretty well! i swear i probably ate 8 times what she did bless her!

It may be a good idea for you to point her in the direction of the forum so she can maybe read a few posts and if she feels brave enough she can post if she wants :) sometimes it's alot easier to talk to a stranger than a friend or family!

When i was diagnosed i hovered over the forum for a few weeks before i had the courage to post!

It's always hard at the beggining, for family as well as the person who has been diagnosed, but it gets easier as everyone learns more about diabetes and how it fits into everyones lives because it does effect everyone really.

It really sounds like you love and care for your daughter and she seems to be doing very well too!:)

all the best!