I'm not sure where to post this, but for continuity I'll post here.
I've been slipping back into old habits bit by bit, then this past week I've been completely in denial again. I wont detail what I ate for fear of looking like I'm pleased with myself, but I made no attempt to stop myself overeating and eating all the wrong things.
I'm back up to 269lbs now, which isn't so bad but needs to stop and go back down if I'm not to lose the progress I've made so far, towards better health.
My blood sugars have been fairly good, I only tested fasting and an occasional one to check how high it was going, but I didn't catch anything over 8 mmol. Fasting has been under 7 mmol.
I think the steadier blood sugars despite terrible diet could be down to a combination of recent fasting and of course medication (metformin and trulicity). I do firmly believe the intermittent and occasional extended fasting has increased my insulin sensitivity a bit, and improved general health a lot.
Even though at times I feel back to being helpless in the face of this eating disorder or addiction or whatever it is, there is that bright hope now that fasting can help me, even if I can't ultimately change my habits altogether - maybe it can be a mitigating factor that literally helps to "stop the rot", or at least slow it down.
I think i have to accept that I'm not able to transform myself into a healthy person in one go as others (most admirably) have. For me it's going to be battle after battle, knowing I wont ultimately win the war but keeping enemy forces at bay as long as I can.
Negatives at the moment - I'm still a hopelessly sugar addicted overeater. I still sink into despair and self destructive idleness sometimes.
Positives - I have made some changes that have improved my health, and intermittent fasting is something I can do long term that will continue to help me be healthier and feel much better.
I think I've posted this in the right place after all. Fasting has changed my life, maybe it's not a radical transformation and maybe I'll never be very successful at low carbing, but I'll keep fighting and keep fasting, and keep coming back here.