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A whole lot of fear

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by Caeseji, Feb 24, 2019.

  1. Caeseji

    Caeseji Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi hi all!

    Far from my usual optimism but I think pre-first day jitters has really launched my anxiety into the stratosphere. Being 28 and having the dreaded T2D has been getting to me today, I’m getting so afraid of what might happen. Celebrating the fact that I’m rather stable in the 5’s and low 6’s with just metformin now kind of gets marred when I start to ponder 10 or 20 or even 30 years down the line. I’m only just starting to get my life on track after being unemployed for so long. I’m eating better and feeling better but I can never shake the fact that I am probably looking at a bleak future if I mess up again. It does sometimes feel like I may have just ended this life far before it could begin.

    Sorry for the ranting all, I guess I am a little thin skinned due to renovating my room all week and not having my PC for entertainment.
     
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  2. xfieldok

    xfieldok Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Entirely normal to go through a whole gamut of emotions. Your future is far from bleak if you get control of the condition. Lots of successful stories on the forum. Read them and be encouraged by them.
     
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  3. Scott-C

    Scott-C Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi, Caeseji, I'm T1 so I rarely comment on T2 threads, but here's a little story from my past.

    A couple of months after I was dx'd, I read a story about a 25 yr old T1 who had paid no attention at all to monitoring levels, and she was facing going blind.

    As a newbie, that story terrified me. It was a huge motivator for me to test, make sure I was in range as much as possible.

    Thirty yrs later, I have no complications. The author of the story tightened up her act and came out of it ok, not blind.

    There are differences between T1 and T2, but the underlying message is the same: take care of your bg levels, and, while there are no guarantees at all on complications, all the evidence shows that if you pay attention to this stuff, the chances of getting complications is massively reduced, they are not inevitable, not by a long shot.

    Those 5 and 6 numbers are looking good, and the screening we get for picking up early stage retinopathy is very good
     
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  4. hankjam

    hankjam Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    I understand your fear, it's not great to overthink it and "what ifs" really can mess with me... you sound to be doing pretty well, so a week at a time is the way I go....
    On a lighter side my diabetes is nothing compared to the mess the grown ups are making of the world at the moment...
    Go with the good and leave the negative waves behind.
    :)
     
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  5. annie07

    annie07 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    As a fellow 28 year old T2 who's trying to get her life together after a big life change, I completely understand! I still sometimes feel negatively about it and I'm still a little embarrassed to tell people, even though I know it's a condition which can strike at any time. All we can do is try and get on top of it as best we can and I try to take it a week at a time. If we make changes now then hopefully we won't have to deal with too many issues in the future. And I think it's a good thing we've caught it early rather than going on without knowing and ending up at 40 with complications because we never knew. I think there are probably a lot of people our age who have insulin resistance and it just never gets found until later down the line. You're not alone!
     
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  6. Emma_369

    Emma_369 Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    It is such a daunting illness. When I was first diagnosed (just before my 33rd birthday) all of those fears overwhelmed me - what if don’t see 50, what if I need transplants, what if I lose my sight. I think it’s natural to have those fears. But then you have to push them aside and not let the consume you.
    Almost 6 months on from diagnosis, and by taking control I can honestly say I now feel lucky. Lucky to have found out now and not in years time. Lucky that it is an illness that I can try and have some control over. No I don’t know for how long. But none of us know anything about the future. We can’t worry about that. Only the today. And today diabetes will not beat me. Today I feel the healthiest I have ever felt. Today I know what my body can and can’t handle. Today I am winning. I hope you can find a way to focus on some positives and at put the concerns to the back of your mind :)
     
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  7. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi @Caeseji ,

    Like @Scott-C , & as a young T1 heard all the "horror stories" of the consiquences of unmanaged diabetes from the wards before the Internet was a reality..
    Harsh truths regarding sight loss, uncontrollable infections & muscle wastage/weight loss from insulin omission of those who gave up.
    Yeah, my mum was great at that sort of stuff.. :) Having a job which happens to be in the local hospital.

    Focus on your future & factor in what needs to be done to achieve..
    I'm more than ready to tackle more "future" 42 years later.

    Keep doing what you do & adapt "if" the time comes....
     
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  8. jjraak

    jjraak Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    @Caeseji

    natural to ponder the what ifs.
    we all do it at times,
    the secret is to not let it cloud or mar our day & lives

    what if you get hit by a bus.
    what if your are near an explosion
    what if your in a plane/train/car crash..what ifs.

    I think that @helensaramay expressed it the best i've seen,
    when she said Diabetes won't DEFINE her.

    Now helens type 1, and my god she packs a lot in..

    and she's the role model we all should aspire to.

    But we are all different
    So Just take care of your needs, monitor & eat well...
    and go LIVE your life.

    anxiety as a separate issue is always going to be for you to deal with,

    but to not enjoy your life,
    because of something that MAY happen..is so not worth the waste of time.

    I really like what my friend @Emma_369 writes..
    and THIS is BANG ON the Money for me...
    OUTSTANDING POST

    I think we should all repeat it once a day to ourselves, before we head out the door.

    From your figures and attitude since first posting ..Your doing GREAT

    and if you hadn't been told, like many out there you KNOW your figures would have gotten worse.
    as it is you have a head start on those who have NOT been DX'd.

    Your doing exactly what we all are doing, keeping the figures low, and a close eye on on them at that.
    the damage comes from higher numbers and loose control...NOTHING is preordained.

    Now go out and LIVE..

    but watch out for that BUS....:woot:
     
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  9. DCUKMod

    DCUKMod I reversed my Type 2 · Master
    Staff Member Administrator

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    @Caeseji - I think everyone has a bit of a rollercoaster from time to time, even a goodly time into the journey we might have a real, "Meh!" day with the whole thing.

    Have you heard of the Kubler-Ross change curve? It's well worth a look. The purist ones talk about grief, but grief isn't necessarily about someone passing away, it can be for the way things were, the way things were done, or almost anything, but the headings surely do often apply to how we feel.

    We can enter and leave the change curve at any stage, any time, and to have "been there" once, doesn't mean to say you won't revisit those feelings, but the thing is they do usually pass.

    The following image is just an example, but as you might expect, t'internet has many, many examples.

    Try to concentrate on the positives, because those are the thing that pull us forward, rather then the negatives which could be blamed for pulling us back. You've done very well in your orogress so far. Spend a few minutes thinking about how much better today's markers are than when you were very initially diagnosed.

    upload_2019-2-25_4-48-0.png

    In the 5 years I have been diagnosed T2, there have been massive developments and the tide is turning from the total gloom and doom messages of dreadful, progressive outcomes to more hopeful progress and many examples that progression can also be in a very positive direction. You have many examples of that positive direction right here in this forum.

    The thing about sustained change is is has to come from within you. Nobody can change for you, but the fact that you are sorting out your life, have found a job and are improving your health shows you have it in you.

    Go for it.
     
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  10. Caeseji

    Caeseji Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    @xfieldok You’re right, there’s so many great success stories and no shortage of support for people like me, it means so much to me.

    @Scott-C Thank you for poking your head in to say that though, honestly that is such an inspiration and I am so glad you have made it so far without facing that doom and gloom. Plus I have to say, she did well to get herself back on track after realising what she was doing to herself. It is all about managing the condition and of letting it rule us but rule it in turn.

    @annie07 Really a good way to look at it is that we are getting our life back on track and feeling better for it. We may have this condition but it reminded us to live and not to allow it to rule us till the end. It is a shame we have to face it this early but it does mean we are more well equipped for the future and able to control it. Rather get my LCHF on now and plunge into starting my career than dwelling on the past. It’s embarrassing for sure but it’s getting a lot more acceptance and if you ever do need to talk then I’m here.

    @Emma_369 Honestly such an inspiring post right there, such bad timing for you but it’s a head start on your health and like you? I feel so much better now, no longer do I have a brain fog that’s been clouding me these last few years and my stomach is actually behaving now. I’ve shed a load of fat and feel a hell of a lot more energetic. What you said there about winning is so important for a lot of people and @jjraak was so right to quote that!

    On that subject too, the only bus I want to see is the one taking me to the office ;) So right though, living life is so much more important, food is only a really secondary thing to talking to my friends, playing video games and getting into my new job. I’ve got buckets of awareness for how much I wasted my 20’s but it doesn’t mean that I have to let it hold me back. I’ve seen @helensaramay on the forums before and they are such a good inspiration there, a chronic condition shouldn’t define a person but their actions should.

    @Jaylee Wow your Mum really sounds like an absolute hoot there :hilarious: Though in many ways I guess she was trying to motivate you. I’m going to do just that and face the future head on, like you said it’s best to focus on that and the good times in life than just giving up and falling to the wayside. Hardly even through 2019 yet so may as well get started on living my best life.

    @DCUKMod never have heard of that curve before but that is such a useful resource, thank you for that! Those are such good points and focusing on the positives are always for the absolute best and you are so right there!

    Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to just address each one of you and thank you for the kindness you showed me. I’m always going to be here if any of you do need to talk, we are in this together and I want to do my best for myself and for all of you!

    Oh and by the way? First day on the job went well and with it being a creative design job I am going to fit in so well.
     
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  11. annie07

    annie07 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Same goes for you! Glad to hear your new job is going well. Hopefully this is the start of something great.
     
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