ashamed/embarrassed about my diabetes

[hollyslot]

I generally feel very embarrassed about my diabetes. mainly because i feel i have poor control as i go low way way too much, and i do try really hard with my bg's and keeping them stable. I am in intense psychotherapy not for my diabetes, and i have told my T i have it, but last session i was low the whole session and was to ashamed to say anything (my BG was 2.7). so i feel as though i might've acted a bit weird. i am 'recovering' from an eating disorder and still have massive worries in that are so thats why i was so scared to eat in front of her (im scared of her seeing me eat) and i just wanted some reassurance, i really cant explain how ashamed i am of my diabetes and my control. and i wondered if it'd be a good idea to let her know about this? has anyone felt similarly?
i know this is a weird post, and i just wanted some advice if possible.
thanks for reading x

 

[Spiker]

It's really good that you are talking about it. I opened up on here recently about a similar issue, though not as serious perhaps, and it was "good to talk".

 

[Spiker]

For starters I suggest telling your therapist about the low. She can then get into with you why you didn't want to tell her. She may be best placed to help you understand it and deal with it. And also tell her the general symptoms of hypos and how they can affect you, as she quite likely will not know the details.

 

[hollyslot]

For starters I suggest telling your therapist about the low. She can then get into with you why you didn't want to tell her. She may be best placed to help you understand it and deal with it. And also tell her the general symptoms of hypos and how they can affect you, as she quite likely will not know the details.

thanks so much, that's really good advice. I guess i also feel embarrassed bc i always think when i speak about my diabetes she will think im just finding something to complain about, but then im just a very worried person haha i hope you are doing well?x

 

[yingtong]

Spiker has give you good advice and there is a good life to had with diabetes.i have had type 1 diabetes for over 52 years and I have lead a full life,I have 4 wonderful children and held a very responsible job for many years before I retired,I played many sports,some to a semi-professional level.I will not kid you it is not easy but once you get control of your diabetes it gets easier,that's not saying that you won't get days,I still do but the get easier to overcome.I think you are making tremendous strides to start with.So keep it up and I am sure you will get there.good luck and keep going.

 

[Flowerpot]

Hi hollyslot

Do tell her about the issues and struggles you are having with hypos and your control. I saw a psychologist to help me as I suffered from anorexia and diabulimia for years. I still dislike having to eat in front of people as I think they will be judging me, I think it goes with the territory of eating disorders but when it's combined with diabetes it's a hard but necessary thing to solve.. I still try to treat my hypos without anyone seeing in case they comment, like you say I can't explain why I feel like that but I do. Diabetes and how you feel about it plus an eating disorder is such a challenge to sort out, everything is interlinked but getting help is a really good, brave move.

I'm sure it will help enormously to say what you have said here to your therapist. Hypos go with the territory of diabetes and you shouldn't feel ashamed of having to treat them. I only started to really sort things out when I eventually said what I felt and what I was really doing. I hope your ongoing treatment helps you out, please don't feel ashamed of having to look after yourself and your control. Best Wishes.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi,

I was in a diabetes check up a couple of months back & dropped to a similar mark on the meter. I thought I could "blag" it for a few more minutes intill I got out the door..? I stopped the conversation & laid into what I had in my bag. Testing while I ate. The nurse mentioned I "looked a little bored." You may find you didn't act as strange as you might have thought?

The point is, during/detecting a hypo you gotta do what you gotta do.. Do mention to your counceller what happened in the session & maybe organise a "code" with her in case it happens again? Maybe the "code" could be "I'm hypo"? As long as you have the means to treat the low your councellor can step out the room in the meantime while you comfortably treat it..?

Maybe show your initial post on here to the councillor..

 

[Heathenlass]

Agree with what everyone else has said
It's an excellent idea to bring this up with your therapist, as it may well be part and parcel of your other problems, being ashamed of being diabetic and worries about your control. All part of the big picture . Your therapist will be glad to know this, and they are not judgemental

Signy

 

[hollyslot]

Hi hollyslot

Do tell her about the issues and struggles you are having with hypos and your control. I saw a psychologist to help me as I suffered from anorexia and diabulimia for years. I still dislike having to eat in front of people as I think they will be judging me, I think it goes with the territory of eating disorders but when it's combined with diabetes it's a hard but necessary thing to solve.. I still try to treat my hypos without anyone seeing in case they comment, like you say I can't explain why I feel like that but I do. Diabetes and how you feel about it plus an eating disorder is such a challenge to sort out, everything is interlinked but getting help is a really good, brave move.

I'm sure it will help enormously to say what you have said here to your therapist. Hypos go with the territory of diabetes and you shouldn't feel ashamed of having to treat them. I only started to really sort things out when I eventually said what I felt and what I was really doing. I hope your ongoing treatment helps you out, please don't feel ashamed of having to look after yourself and your control. Best Wishes.

thanks so much and i really relate about trying to treat hypos w/out others seeing, hope you are doing well now xx

 

[paul_87]

@hollyslot - I can't begin to know your feeling but good on you sharing. Once the clouds clear you will come out shining

I've felt pretty low with diabetes when i was younger, and i can relate some.

I've been diabetic for 18 years (im 27 now, diagnosed at 9 years old) it took me about 2-3 years to accept the fact that it wasn't going to go away. I had a rough ride to start with, in and out of hospital for almost 18 months with extremely poor control, counselling and almost killing myself with sugar, but i was young and very naive.

I found it hard to accept diabetes, talk to anyone about it, and even go to school or activities. I was embarrassed and ashamed because my control was so bad i used to play football or run around for 30 mins and have a hypo. All day every day i used to ask myself, Why me ? I didn't want to do anything because i was worried about having a hypo on my own or relying on people that didn't have diabetes and thinking they wouldn't help. People would call me names, act odd around me and poke fun. I didn't have any family or friends with diabetes or know anything about it. Feeling like a black sheep made me embarrassed at school, home and everywhere.

I think the thing that really did it for me was the fact back then, sweets and chocolate were a complete NO NO and I was sick and tired of not being able to have things like that when my friends or family did. My mum was very over protective and wrapped me up in cotton wool with regards to my diabetes growing up. So when i finally accepted diabetes was here with me for life, all i did was push the limits and boundaries of it. I did allot of things a diabetic person was advised not to do, take or eat/drink. This didn't last that long in fact only a few years, and when i stopped I quickly gained good control. Along with this i lost the embarrassment and the ashamed feeling and gained allot of confidence, determination and patience.

I think the thing for me was accepting it. Once i had acceptance and pushed a bit good control arrived. A bit of a long read, but maybe itle help

 

[noblehead]

@hollyslot, great advice above and there isn't any more to add, but do talk things over with the therapist as you'll feel much better for it afterwards, good luck and hope all goes well.

 

[mangobe]

It's great that you're opening up about these problems here on a forum where lots of others have had similar experiences! I hope that sharing your problems here and being understood will not only help you feel accepted but supported, and that you'll find lots of helpful advice. But, just in case you happen to have been allocated a therapist who is not particularly 'empathetic', which can happen, considering that therapists are all different individuals among whom some are very much more helpful than others, if you don't feel supported by your therapist than immediately ask for a change of therapist instead of blaming yourself for your therapists inability to help. Much love and best wishes in your struggles with these issues x

 

[donnellysdogs]

A good cartoon was published on the humour posting the other day. So I will upload it here.. I think if you could actually print it off that it may help your therapist to understand just what diabetics feel on a day to day basis. This was drawn by someone who onviously is very aware of our feelings and I know if myself and a friend that think like this.....so I think you and many others may too. It gave me great feelings that I am not the only person to feel this way.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Also a young friend of mine has been in an eating disorder unit and she isn't diabetic but because her body was starved it has taken her months to come out of bg levels between 2 and 3. All I'm trying to say is that although she is not diabetic her body was not able to use the glucose from all the eating properly for months . You are diabetic but your body may still be struggling to utilise any glucose made from eating properly at the moment.

Is this a long term therapist that you are seeing? Or someone that you are just starting to see. Its difficult to talk to non diabetics who can only guess at what we think and have to do.. So I hope that you may consider showing the cartoon. I have sent it on to my family and friends just so that they get a better understanding that what they see on the outside doesn't explain how I feel on the inside...