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Bad Diabetic in need of advice....

L

lexigillespie

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I am a Bad Diabetic. I've been a type 1 diabetic for about 13 years now, diagnosed at the age of 14. I've always struggled with controlling my diabetes, especially as a teenager, regularly not taking my insulin for days to control my weight. In my early 20's I decided to stop being an idiot and get some help after being hospitalized for the 6th time for Ketoacidosis. I visited my local diabetic clinic once a week to have a chat with my diabetic nurse. (who was fabulous) No judgement about missed injections, just support and advice and support about how to keep going and get healthy. I managed to get my Hb1Ac reading from horrific to normal and maintain healthy blood sugar levels for a few years.

Two years ago I moved abroad to live and work in Qatar. (Middle East) Since then I've slipped back into intentionally omitting insulin to maintain weight control. Despite the huge number of diabetics in Qatar (I think its all the cousins marrying cousins) I haven't been able to find any local support for people struggling with diabetes. The doctors just give you an insulin prescription, tell you to take it and send you on your way.

So its getting to the point where I'm really making myself ill in the never ending quest to be skinny. I don't even want to be that skinny, just not fat. As soon as I take insulin after not taking it for a while, I retain water and immediately feel like I've gained 2 stone in 24 hours and I have to stop taking insulin to lose it and the cycle continues.......

I really want to get back to being able to take my insulin properly and have good control of my diabetes. I'm so mad at myself for letting it get back to this. I just can't seem to back on track despite my best intentions. This might sound stupid but I think it helps just talking about diabetes and not 'forgetting' that its a part of my life? Which living in Qatar, its been pretty easy to do and I feel like its not something I can really talk about with my friends (all non-diabetics) cos they don't really get it.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl out there doing this, but its taken me a long time to be able to openly admit it. When someone compliments you on losing weight, the socially acceptable response it not "Thanks! I've been killing myself by not taking my insulin, glad you noticed"

Any advice or support from anyone who has struggled with the same thing would be greatly appreciated.
 
There is no such thing as a Bad Diabetic and there is a name for what you are doing. It is called Diabulimia and this has become an eating disorder for you. You already know what you are doing is dangerous and it will take you to be disciplined in what you eat, how much insulin you use and getting out and doing some exercise to try and gain the control you need to be happy with yourself and keep blood sugar levels in check. Please try to get back control. Changing your ways once you already have complications is too late. Good luck!
 
Hiya,
as Jen say's there's no such thing as a bad diabetic. :) You do need help though.
Have you seen this site http://www.dwed.org.uk/ they might be able to help you help yourself.
Best wishes
CR
 
I think you have taken the first step by admitting that you have a problem - good on ya. You need to get your mind set that you are going to control it, day by day. It's said you need 5 days to create a habit, start now honey.
And this site is a very good place to start, there will be other people in a similar postion
 
I also hate the weight gain that seems to come with taking insulin.
Just to let you know that over the past year I started looking very honestly at what I ate - far too many carbohydrates is the anwer. I have cut down my carbohydrates to between 100 and 120g per day and because of this reduced my daily insulin requirement and lost 2 and a half stone and now weigh 9st 10. I was in a kind of denial state but when I stopped and realised that there was a way around insulin and food and that I could stay healthy (eats lots of veg to fill up) and also improve by hba1c then it made it worth my while and i kept at it. It's not easy but others are right, you've made the first move and I'm sure you can improve things from today onwards. Keep in touch with us and take it day by day. All the best :D
 
know where you're coming from aswell. i am a big framed, tallish amazonian type...and when was first diagnosed, had lost about 4 stone (i thought it was down to my gym regime!)...whenever i'm a bit hefty in the weight department i always think back to no insulin=mega weight loss. and don't worry about under-injecting. but this frame of mind never lasts long, it's mental! think of all the future potential damage this causes your body. you won't be able to hop into a time machine to put it right, but will have to live with 'complications' which we can hopefully avoid if we are careful. (believe me i am not lecturing, i'm tellin this to myself aswell as you)

it's only really since finding this forum i can see that other t1's keep their carbs down (i was always told to include starchy carbs with every meal, so bread/potatoes/rice/pasta became my staples). i am trying to find out as much as poss about insulin/carb ratio's (BDEC run an online education thingy which i'm looking at, you could take a look?) and then hope to have the confidence to do what riri has done, reduce those carbs and therefore insulin too, hopefully meaning a reduction in pounds aswell! a giant increase in insulin needs when i was pregnant resulted in a 5 stone weight gain! i've lost half of this, but 2 years on, need to lose the rest and hope learning about reducing carbs & insulin will be instrumental to this.

i've done slimming world in the past, they have 'red' days where you have more meat/protein & less carbs, and 'green' days where you eat more carbs and more veg options and much less (hardly any) meat. i've always done the green days, because i thought as a T1 i couldn't do the red days, i am excited at the thought that when i know more about it i can try a red day!!!!! (silly thing to get excited about i know, but honestly it's a revelation to me that carbs don't have to take priority)

know exactly what you mean about diabetes being part of your life and that you ignore it, esp when there's no-one around to talk about it...that's why i like this forum so much, there are lots of us out there! and i'm learning more from my time on here than my 12 years of being diabetic. please stay in touch & let us know what's going on...feel free to PM me, i'm loving making diabetic friends (only coz all my 'real life' friends aren't! it's so good to connect and talk about diabetic issues) x
 
Hia weezer - just tried sending you 2 PMs but but not sure if they've gone coz still in my outbox ?!?!?
 
Riri said:
Hia weezer - just tried sending you 2 PMs but but not sure if they've gone coz still in my outbox ?!?!?
Click to expand...

They'll be sent it's probably due to weezer not reading them yet, when the recipient opens the pm they disappear out of your outbox.
 
Thanks for all the advice and comments, its really good to know that there are others out there that get it! I've never been on here before but I can see how being able to chat about my diabetes (good and bad) and not feel guilty or like I'm cheating can definitely help. Feeling strangely inspired to take some insulin. Thanks!
 
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