Shygirl, I'm exactly the same as you.
I started trying to learn to swim, poorly. Then almost drowned myself when on holiday (family nearby didn't realise I was struggling until I actually managed to grab one of them), this was then followed by school swimming lessons which I'd do almost anything to get out of (the instructor was a bully). Now I look at people swimming (eg in the Olympics) and feel I'd love to be able to do that, but a bit wary of trying to learn again (that's once I lose some weight of course, not wearing a swimsuit at current size!)