Can't Cope With Other People

[Glados]

Since being diagnosed, a few weeks back, I have become rather depressed and VERY cross with my family and friends. I'm so short-tempered, angry and disappointed in people.

I went mental at my son for getting bad grades in his AS Levels. I've been accused of constantly making sly digs at my boyfriend and I have totally dropped an old friend, because I find his political views (some of which are being encouraged by his newish girlfriend) racist.

I feel like other people are being a bit ***t, whilst I am bravely dieting and exercising to combat MY issues! I'm facing my challenges head on*... So why isn't my boyfriend doing more to shake off his 4 years of mental health issues? Why can't he help me more with chores? Why isn't my son trying harder at 6th form college and taking advantage of the chances he has? Why has my funny, clever and kind friend allowed this evil girlfriend into his head, and joined her in making racist statements, that mean I can NEVER warm to him again?

I'm tired and angry and I just want to shut myself away (not from my sons) and let everyone else go and get lost.

Does anyone else feel like this? Am I turning evil, or is it the diabetes getting to me? :***:



*I know I'm being terribly high and mighty here but I'm trying to be honest about my underlying feelings. And that IS how I feel.

 

[BaliRob]

I had a very good friend who had direct mood swings according to his blood sugar levels - just a thought. But if you are continuously in a 'bad mood' you could be depressed. The subject of depression comes up a lot here so I do hope you can get some help with this.

 

[Glados]

I know I'm depressed, I cry every day and I am having counselling... But since I've started getting my blood glucose down (which I've done pretty well at) I've become very intolerant of other people's shortcomings. I can't see why they don't try harder with their lives too. I'm sure I am being too harsh but it infuriates me. The racism thing is something I couldn't ignore under any circumstances though, I think.

 

[SueR]

My better half went through this when he was first put on insulin. At one point I thought of moving out, but as his sugar levels dropped then so did his temper. Slowly life got back to normal until I was put on insulin and exactly the same happened.

You do become very intolerant of things as you get older and people do get on your nerves, but ride the storm and in time things do settle down - well they did here. I still have days when I want to hibernate and am very snappy with people, but I battle through. Life is slowly getting better and I hope it will for you too.

 

[CollieBoy]

Glados,
I too, feel the lack of patience with others shortcomings :evil:
I was diagnosed 4 years ago with D2 and a bled type stroke. My BG is reasonably well controlled with HbA1c in the 5s. complained to GP re Depression and Anger Mgt issues : No help on Depression but got Anger councillor who admitted that I had all the techniques but whose treatment involved writing down notes on feelings and how I dealt < HELLO, CANNOT WRITE DUE TO STROKE :roll: > and that PCT would only allow a few 30 min sessions :thumbdown:

 

[Patch]

But since I've started getting my blood glucose down (which I've done pretty well at) I've become very intolerant of other people's shortcomings.

I can empathise with this! It like - stuff that wouldn't normally bother me get's my back RIGHT up and I have to speak out. It's a surprise to people when I do this.

It happens when I have been running at pretty high BG's for a while, then suddenl;y come down into the normal range (4-6mmol/L).

High BG makes me placid (LAZY!).
Lower BG makes me much more qactive - physically and mentally.

I bet if you read a lot of my posts, you can tell when my BG is lower - because I make a lot more sense!!! :crazy:

 

[mistee71]

I'm feeling really down and sorry for myself. The last few days I've been very nasty and very tearful. Shouting and nagging one minute and crying the next. I think i am feeling like this because of the diabetes. I dont think that since diagnoses i have ever had a normal reading. I'm always high. For instance, My reading at 9.30 this morning before breakfast and the last time i ate was at 6.30 yesterday tea (roast chicken, a couple roast potatoes and cauliflower) was 10.8. Thats low for me. I have considered asking to go on anti depressants coz even i cant tolerate my mood swings. Chating on this forum is the only thing that keeps me sane half the time.

 

[Helenababe]

This happens to me. It's an aweful feeling. I don't feel angry deliberately. There seems to be nothing I can do about it.

It ranges from everyone annoying me, you know, those little things that people do, to feeling angry and aggressive inside. My kids just say: 'Mum's going into one of her diabetic angers again.'

I tend to 'not suffer fools gladly anymore', as I think why should I when I have my diabetes to contend with. And, if I disagree with someone, especially if they're lording it over me I give it back now. Don't let them tell me what to do. I have changed quite alot.

Helena

 

[Glados]

Thanks everyone! It seems I am not alone. My system probably hasn't adjusted yet to my new BG levels (and I bet they still go up and down a bit). I was very miserable at my diagnosis too... Plus we all have things in life that get us down.

I thought I'd left all these mood swings behind when I finished my menopause! :crazy:

I suppose I will have to try and chill out. Meantime the rest of the world will have to watch out! :twisted:

Thanks for the feedback, it helps to hear that maybe some of it is down to diabetes and I'm not just an old witch! I hope you all manage to secure the help you need to balance things out! You being advised to make notes when you couldn't write Fergus... OMG. :shock:

 

[Glados]

'Mum's going into one of her diabetic angers again.'

:lol: :lol: :lol: They nailed it. I think I love them. xx

 

[Ian Fabian]

I know exactly how you feel.I have been using Insulin for over 20 years and still feel the same with people.Two years ago I started with Tai Chi, Qi Gong,and I have found that this helps me immensley with coping, controling my inner space, comfort zones and still being able to interact with other people without ripping their head off.
Unfortunatly the racism thing is intolerable and it may be a good thing that you have now seen this in one who is supposed to be a friend, Surely a friend loves you deeper than the tone of your skin.

 

[Glados]

Unfortunatly the racism thing is intolerable and it may be a good thing that you have now seen this in one who is supposed to be a friend, Surely a friend loves you deeper than the tone of your skin.

Actually we are both white. Thing is, I live in a very mixed community (with lots of black and Asian friends)... He lives in a smart area of London and has now taken to posting right wing political comments that show huge ignorance and racism. This from a well educated man, who should know better. I literally do NOT want to know him now.

 

[Umulig]

Give yourself a break, you have had a lot to deal with and naturally you feel overwhelmed. Having all of these life changes to deal with is hard work and then there is life too. Perhaps you need to give these people some information to read about caring for YOU and understanding what you have gone thought. Diabetes is not easy and you sound like you are trying really hard to cope. Well done you, keep on with your hard work and good luck. Xx

 

[lucylocket61]

I am feeling all these things too.

I am putting it down to Diabetes diagnosis and all the related feeling and extra things to think about.

I am acting and feeling exactly the way I did when i was getting burnt out at work, before I had to leave from a breakdown. I hope this passes quickly :cry:

 

[catherinecherub]

Since being diagnosed, a few weeks back, I have become rather depressed and VERY cross with my family and friends. I'm so short-tempered, angry and disappointed in people.

I went mental at my son for getting bad grades in his AS Levels. I've been accused of constantly making sly digs at my boyfriend and I have totally dropped an old friend, because I find his political views (some of which are being encouraged by his newish girlfriend) racist.

I feel like other people are being a bit ***t, whilst I am bravely dieting and exercising to combat MY issues! I'm facing my challenges head on*... So why isn't my boyfriend doing more to shake off his 4 years of mental health issues? Why can't he help me more with chores? Why isn't my son trying harder at 6th form college and taking advantage of the chances he has? Why has my funny, clever and kind friend allowed this evil girlfriend into his head, and joined her in making racist statements, that mean I can NEVER warm to him again?

I'm tired and angry and I just want to shut myself away (not from my sons) and let everyone else go and get lost.

Does anyone else feel like this? Am I turning evil, or is it the diabetes getting to me? :***:



*I know I'm being terribly high and mighty here but I'm trying to be honest about my underlying feelings. And that IS how I feel.

Reading through your post shows what stress can do. Anger is an expression of stress. I bet your whole body is tense too.

Your stress has turned to anger and you want everyone else to conform to what you want them to do.

Your boyfriend has to decide when he wants to tackle his mental health issues and he may never be ready.
The chores can either be done by you or left so that the house goes to pot. You cannot make him do them.

Your son's education is what will decide a lot of his future, not yours and he has to make the decisions.

All of the above will not be helped by being angry will it? You know that you get the best out of people when you deal with situations calmly and not being angry. You are not in the right mood yet and once you get your management of diabetes under control you will calm down. I bet they are walking on eggshells and wish they could be some place else.

You may normally be a perfectionist and this will not help matters either. You cannot control other people's behaviour patterns and will cause yourself a lot of grief if you think you can.

As to the racist friend, dump him fast. He has no place in your life as he is also adding stress and that is not what friends do. If it was anything else you might be able to meet in the middle but this is not the case here.

This may sound a bit harsh Glados, it is posted with your interests at heart and will add a hug,(((()))) you need one right now.

 

[SweetHeart]

Reading all of these posts, my heart goes out to each and every one of you. I know you are all struggling trying to come to terms with the diabetes, the lifestyle changes, the constant medication and the feeling that your life isn't your own any more - it isn't going the way you want it to.

But spare a thought for those on the other end, the opposite side of all this. I am my husband's wife, his friend and his carer. I am the one explaining to our children that Dad doesn't mean it, he's stressed, he'll get better. On top of this, I'm the only one who does the housework and the cooking.

As far as I know I haven't done anything wrong. I do my best to make sure he has absolutely everything he could want.....but it seems that this is not enough. I am not doing enough, I haven't waved a magic wand and made it all go away. I wish I could - don't we all?

But meanwhile, I am the butt of his public snideness, his sulking and his I-don't-give-toss-about-you attitude.

It feels like a very heavy burden to carry. I hope it gets lighter for all of us.

Julia

 

[lucylocket61]

I am sorry you are going through this. Was he like this before Diabetes? Sometimes we blame diabetes when we may need counselling or have other medical problems we dont realise we have.

I wasnt like this before. And I dont take it out on my family. I just cry a lot and want to stay away from people and bottle it up inside. I think I am depressed and may speak to my doctor about it soon. I could do with access to the mental health specialist we are supposed to be able to see after diagnosis.

 

[SweetHeart]

Lucy,

No, he was the coolest, nicest person I know. We have been through hell together in the past (lost babies, cancer) and I think he coped admirably with those situations because, each time, I was the sick person. He is usually the most solid of rocks. I cannot tell you how much I love him :shh:

I know he feels like he's falling apart and he's not yet fifty (that sounds so old in writing! but he's no different now to the boy I married) and he thinks he has let us all down, although I do reassure him that he hasn't - why would he have, this is not what he would have chosen to happen - but it's mostly all fixable, it's not the end of the world.

If he would only do a little reading and research on here he would know that he can still enjoy life, still eat most of his favourite foods....he's not consigned to the trash yet. Only, the way he's going, I want to put him in the can and crash down the lid!

One of these days I will explode, I can't keep being the saintly wife :angel:

Julia

 

[lucylocket61]

sensing love.

How long has been like this?

sometimes, when the carer becomes the cared for, they need some help to find themselves and adjust to their new role.

Its hard.Is there anyone who can support you too? although I find this forum a great support in itself.

 

[SweetHeart]

Lucy,

This forum is my crutch. I wish he would use it too. Actually, that's my one and only request - that he takes some control and gets a heads up in this.

We're both going down the low carb route, and getting support from our families is difficult as there are diabetics on both sides who are telling us we're doing it all wrong, even though results speak for themselves. (I look in horror at my own father and his stepfather and wonder if they really are controlling their diabetes, both T2, as they seem to know so little about it, but I say nothing) And, of course, being low-carbers means we get no help from our HCPs who are anti low carb.

He's been like this since diagnosis almost a month ago. He's not my carer as such - I am his because of his spinal disabilities - but he's very much a 'head of the family' man still. I don't mean that he's overbearing or such, he's earned his respect.

I wonder if he feels like he isn't in control any more and will lose respect? Or maybe he feels old now. Our kids aren't young kids, they understand, but we 'olds' do get pitying looks.....might not be helping :lol:

Julia