Christmas Cracker Jokes

[eddie1968]

Now the festive season is upon us it's time for the annual cracker joke fiesta lmao.

Here goes:
Hear about the Irish murderer ?
He dragged his wife off a cliff.
Lol

Your contributions are appreciated....

 

[Robinredbreast]

How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

 

[eddie1968]

How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

You win the first "groan" of the season lmao

 

[Clivethedrive]

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom! Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the brandy cream for that!

 

[Robinredbreast]

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom! Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the brandy cream for that!

Mr Clive, really but it did make me laugh so funny

 

[eddie1968]

Mr Clive lol. RRB I concur lol.

 

[Clivethedrive]

Chocolate - On Parade

First soldier: 'Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?'
Second soldier: 'Certainly not.'

First soldier: 'Why not?'
Second soldier: 'Because it's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert.'

 

[lovinglife]

German sausage jokes - they're the wurst!

 

[Clivethedrive]

News just in....a bell ringer from west sussex forgot to let go of the rope ...and caught his dingdong merrily on high

 

[eddie1968]

Hear about the Irish Newspaper Shop ?
It blew away!
Lol

 

[eddie1968]

Doctor on Psychiatric Unit assessing patient, "What are you doing?"
Patient "Driving my Ferrari !"
Doctor" You haven't got a car here."
Patient in next bed "Shut up I get £20 a week for cleaning it !"
Lol

 

[Robinredbreast]

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

 

[Kazlow]

These jokes are so funny. Keep them coming ☺

 

[Blondie153]

2 Irish jokes Eddie
Watch it mister!!!!

 

[Blondie153]

What do you give the man who has everything?
Penicillin!

 

[Blondie153]

What do you call Santa's wife?
Mary Christmas

 

[eddie1968]

2 Irish jokes Eddie
Watch it mister!!!!

Inno Blondie lmao...tell us all some Scotsman jokes l. I'm a Celt and can ridicule my own kind. I might behave...maybe lol

 

[Robinredbreast]

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A barberqueue

 

[eddie1968]

What do Mexican's have under the carpet?
Underlay.
Lol
(Ariba Ariba lol Speedy Gonzales)

 

[eddie1968]

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A barberqueue

"Medal of Groaning" awarded with oak leaves now lmao