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Counselling re diabetes

Discussion in 'Diabetes Soapbox - Have Your Say' started by claymic, Aug 22, 2013.

  1. claymic

    claymic Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi
    I was wondering if anyone ever had counselling re their diabetes diagnosis and if it helped accepting the condition.

    I have been t2 for 10 years. My control is appalling and I can't seem to stop eating. I think until I sort my relationship your food no medication regime is going to work.

    I don't seem to have the will inside to do something because frankly deep down i think I have given up and sometimes I feel that it will only be good if I die sooner rather than later.

    I am afraid if I have to go on insulin it will be such another major change in my life that I will not cope with it.

    I hate that I am sick. For me it is like a weakness or a failure.

    I just want to be happy. Hence why I am contemplating going for counselling. Hope all this makes a bit of sense.

    Thanks for reading


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  2. paul-1976

    paul-1976 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi!

    Can I firstly just say that you are NOT weak OR a failure and you did nothing wrong to develop diabetes but you do sound very depressed,an emotion I know all too well and I know I can't say anything to make all this go away and all better but I would urge you to seek help and some counselling for your depression...I know it's not an easy step to take but it's the right one as depression is cruel and doesn't sadly go away by itself.

    Best wishes

    Paul
     
  3. Netty70

    Netty70 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi claymic
    I agree with Paul you do sound really down think counselling would really help you
    I struggled so much when I was first diagnosed but now I've got my head round it sort of lol
    Life can be so hard but were here and living it so you have to make the most of it
    Good luck hope you get everything sorted :)


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  4. Ophipity

    Ophipity · Newbie

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    I can answer this on two fronts.
    1) I am a counsellor and can vouch for the benefits of talking through your relationship with food and diabetes.
    2) I am having personal counselling myself and have just begun to be honest about my food habits and health worries and already feel better for getting the embarrassment and worry off my chest.

    Hope this helps and good luck.
     
  5. donnellysdogs

    donnellysdogs Type 1 · Master

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    My counsellor basically told me that I had always seen myself as "lesser" since my T1 almost 30 yrs ago and because I was told I WOULD get complications I never live my full life because of thinking I got complications coming no matter what....and that I accepted less because U thought less of myself and my parents treated me differently.
    So now, besides popping on this website occasionally, I am doing everything I can, and think to myself.. I deserve better.
    My parents at nigh on 80 yrs old have also for the first time ever stopped asking me about my diabetes and health. I explained my friends dont ask me, they dont treat me differently. So for my birthday I was given a Viper Jetboat Event and I'm now being treated so much better by myself and by my parents.
    If it hadnt been for my counselling I would have stayed in the all consuming (sometimes) world of diabetes. Worrying about my bgs, complications etc, now I have no-one asking me how I (and my diabetes) is besides my consultant and for me its letting me think better of myself.

    Counselling picks up on things that can really help, no matter what it is.

    I have had 2 different counsellors and the first one just skirted around issues...the second one was direct and to the point and made me cry and almost tore me apart... The 2nd one was what I needed, as I could talk to him about everything and anything openly and he was very bkunt with me. He told me afterwards that he knew I could take it, and it was what I needed. He said that as before I could go to a pussyfooting nice counsellor who would never get to the point with me, and wate my money, or as with him,, he was direct and never let me say "I dont know" to a question he asked me. He was £40 for one person, or £60 for a couple per hour. However you could also ring or text or email him out of sessions too. The 1st counsellor was a free nhs one, who really, never helped me, she never asked me anything relevent to get to the bottom of why I am the way I am at all.
    So soory for steering away from food issues and counselling. Yes, a counsellor can help, but choose one carefully....
     
  6. Daibell

    Daibell LADA · Master

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    Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your depression. I do support for Mind, the Mental Health charity. I don't want to scare you ref the 'Mental Health' bit but they offer a range of services including CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) as well as counselling and so on. There may be a branch, called a Local Mind Association, near you. Your GP can refer you or you can self-refer.
     
  7. claymic

    claymic Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    thanks for your advice. i have been doing some research. it is difficult to figure out who would be a good councellor. in any case i have plucked up my courage and made a phone call and have an initial assessment session next week.

    i was quite nervous before calling but i have done it.

    i want to get a grip on this once and for all!!
     
  8. anna29

    anna29 Type 2 · Well-Known Member
    Retired Moderator

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    Well done for making the step to ask for help . :thumbup:
    It is certainly a strong positive step in the right direction . :D

    Cognitive behaviouristic counselling is great to teach and show
    other options,routes of habit formed thinking .
    Various pathways of differing thought/thinking using both mental and visual skills .
    Can assist to overcome habit formed ways .

    When I worked teaching these skills - there was no diabetes counselling available :thumbdown:

    Anna .
     
  9. the_anticarb

    the_anticarb · Well-Known Member

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    Counselling can help, but you have to be ready for change.

    I had loads of counselling over the years and it didn't change my relationship with food or my illness one iota.

    The only thing that changed that was the letter on the mat from the eye hospital when I returned from a holiday of overindulgence several years ago telling me I had changes in my eyes and needed to see the consultant.

    Suddenly the consequences became 'real' to me and that made me really buck up, but before then I don't think I thought it was worth changing as I'd always got away with not taking care of myself and it can be hard to break that pattern particularly if it is long standing, without some sort of impetus.

    You need to be sure of why you want to change, and really mean it from the bottom of your heart.

    Then, change is easy as mentally you're already there. But it's getting to the point where you can make change happen which is the tricky bit IMHO.

    The consequences with diabetes are so bloody far in the future that it's hard psychologically to take them on board. Someone once said if you got a violent stomach ache, or intense pain every time your blood sugar went above 12, there'd be a heck of a lot less diabetics with complications. But it's so easy to get away with the high blood sugars, that by the time you realise you've done the damage it can be too late to sort it out.
     
  10. elaine77

    elaine77 · Well-Known Member

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    Never a truer word spoken


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  11. chubbyian

    chubbyian Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I am a trained counselor but have not so far worked with diabetics. However now I have been diagnosed with T2 I am doing all I can to gather as much information as possible, and hopefully specialise in this field.

    To that extent I would like to thank you Claymic, for being so honest. I can only talk from my own experience so far, but with the help of yourself and others that post, I am fast learning about other people's experiences.

    If anyone knows where I can obtain any resources to help people I would be very greatfull.

    Well done Claymic, with what I have seen so far you will be a very valuable member of the forums :)
     
  12. Unbeliever

    Unbeliever · Well-Known Member

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    This topic always fascinates me . Counselling for diabetes. I my case i have no issues wih food. was slim at diagnosis {t2} amd have remained so I put on a little weight with medication but manged to lose it again. Although there was no trace of eye problems when i was fisrt diagnosed I developed macular oedema as a result of being given rosiglitazone. Despite years of treatment the condition keeps recurring -while my HBA1Cs go down . The hospital say there is little more they can do for me . in fact some at the hospital say there is nothing at all and treatment should be stopped forthwith.

    I don't blame anyone. Mistakes were made in my treatment. I am facing blindness. The worst thing that ever happened to me was my diagnosis. They reckon I was probably diabetic for most of my adult life. Naturally , I am somewhat depressed. Now -and this is a quesion for anyone who has undergone counselling or who knows about it - how would counselling help me?
     
  13. the_anticarb

    the_anticarb · Well-Known Member

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    Not sure how counselling can help you unbeliever, but interested how you say you don't blame anyone despite the fact that mistakes were made in your treatment. If this was due to clinical negligence you'd be well entitled to blame someone!
    I know the whole eye problems area is very tricky though, as the doctors don't seem to know what they are talking about half the time or agree on a course of action. I despair of my local eye hospital. Even 'our' consultant last year let me down by not telling me he'd torn a hole in my retina despite the visual disturbances that I was seeing as a result!
     
  14. Unbeliever

    Unbeliever · Well-Known Member

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    My problems began when I was prescribed rosiglitazone. At he time it was considered a safe drug. Even though it was later linked with a high rate of heart failure it was years before was linked wih macular oedema . The class action by the relatives of those who died is still continuing in the US. Its difficul to blame the local GP for prescribing medication on is approved list.
    I am just graeul that I had the sense to refuse pioglitazone when he Practice DSN wanteed o put me on it. I refused on the grounds i was a "glitazone! and my previous experience. She insisted it was a safe drug. I checked and even at that time he NHS did not recommend it for those sufering wih macular oedema as i "could make he condition worse and leadto blindness1.
    had I followed her advice and then discovered his to be the case I would hemn have felt justified in blaming and probably suing her
    When I had my first two sessions of laser it was far too intense and had no efect at all ecept for frying my retina.
    I saw the exacrt amount of scarring for the first ime he other day and was appalled. Technicians have told me about it in the past
    but when you see a photo of it wih large blackened areas you realise the full etent. This was obvioulsy not a good thing - makes retinal deachment more probable but the Dr who did it was doing her best.
    It worked out OK because as it didn't help at all I was then referred o he newly arrived consultant who was abou o introduce new treatments .
    Laser does no work for me -or possibly for anyone when ther is oo much fluid in the eye. As I am a particularly diffficul and unusual case I firmly believe I would have lost my sigh years ago were i not for he consultant.
    He has been able to help me wih my diabetes conrol too which of course is an essential part of the eye problem/

    It now appears that all the "glitazone " class of drugs are suspeced of being implicated in maculopahy and eye paients are quesioned abou t their use.
    its a case of swings and roundabouts. I don't blame anone because evryone was doing the righ hing. I would certainly have blamed the Nurse but I was forunate in not believing her and i have been very forunate in my consultant.
    I certainly don't blame myself either.

    I had a perfecly healhy diet when diagnosed but was persuaded to eat more carbs s I could olerate the drugs and reduce my bgs
    quickly. It did nothig of the sor of course , in fact just he opposite and led to my present problems.
    As we know many people are damaged by following standard dietary advice. I have reverted to my previous diet and all is now well.in that direction .but mus be kept stable so as not to damage my eyes.further.
    So its all been swings and roundabouts. Its not clinical negligence its just the system failing us all . The HCP's are victimms as much as the patients.
    its still quite depressing though. Maybe being able o blame someone is easier in a way. Counselling won't change the facts and I can't see any positives in the siuation but jus wondered how a Counsellor would approch it?
     
  15. chubbyian

    chubbyian Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Unbeliever
    I think CBT counseling could help you, you say you face going blind, that is a big event. the more you can do now to prepare yourself for it the easier it will be IF it does happen. There are a hole raft of things you can do, it wont stop many of the emotions you will go through, but it should take the sting out of its tail.

    Not all counseling is done by "professionals" by far the best form of counseling is done by a friend, someone you trust and can talk to. Indeed you can sort of counsel yourself, I talk out loud, ( but quietly) when I go for a walk, I find it better to talk than just think.

    I hope all goes well for you. I fully understand you're not blaming anyone, we need to look forward to the future, what is past is past, as unfortunate as it is. A lot of times when people go down that route it brings anxiety and stress, and that can lead to a rise in Gl. :)
     
  16. Unbeliever

    Unbeliever · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you chubbyian. , I have two friends who are trained and experienced counsellors and a close relative who has had undergone many years of counselling. my friends consider I to be very limited and worrry that the mental health of the naion has been enrused o those with heis minor qualificaion {in a primary seing} . Both are qualified professionals in other fields.

    I can see that in specific circumsances it might be very helpful. I also believe that greater use of counsellors could alleviate some of the pressures on GPs. Unfortunately some people have o one other than the doctor wih whom to discuss their problems..

    Of course we are our own first and best counsellors and friends can help if only by acting as a sounding board bt I do feel that professional counselling has its limitations. Where would they even begin? I tend to deal with problems head-on. I face up to them
    and endeavour o find a way to cope with them. This doesn't help me to feel beter about them.

    Even finding someone who had experienced similar problems would probably not help as so much depends on personal circulmsances. I know I would be highly unlikely to even take seriously someone who had not experienced something similar.
    Cby - can it really ch anyone to hink differenly about such a major loss - or any major loss.?

    No disrespect but so much counselling seems to be driven by the sor of plaitues one reads on tea towels..
    possibly you could be more specific about how it could help?
     
  17. sandysan

    sandysan Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I don't think your weak, you are doing something about it , YOU HAVE COME HERE TO THIS SITE and that is a start a good start ,
    I was diagnosed last week , and was devastated, all things run through your mind , especially when your also under a lot of stress , if it will help you then yes go for councelling , it cant hurt you , will probably make you feel more positive and not negative ,

    you sound very negative at the moment , maybe other things is life are bringing you down also ,, but keep your chin up and if it makes you feel better then go counceller

    good luck x
     
  18. the_anticarb

    the_anticarb · Well-Known Member

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    I think counselling for diabetics is likely to fall into two areas (of course some people could need to do it for both)
    1. Enabling behavioural change (eg someone who can not or does not take care of their condition)
    2. Accepting a diagnosis and the implications of this (including complications that may happen or have happened)

    Personally I think it is very hard to change behaviour particularly that which is ingrained and this is where it may be difficult for counselling to help although maybe more of a coaching style would be appropriate (from someone who has an indepth knowledge of diabetes so not your average lay counseller). In terms of accepting a diagnosis, this is where I have found counselling more useful. When I developed advanced complications last year I was full of shame and guilt for not managing my condition better when I was younger. Probably a lot of diabetics who get complications can blame themselves, although not so much in the case of unbeliever who did not even know she had diabetes for much of the time the damage was being done. It did help me to be less harsh on myself as I realised I had been diagnosed at a bad age (15) and could not handle my diabetes. Also I had no control over getting it in the first place.

    I do think there are a lot of good and bad counsellers out there though, finding someone who you can build rapport with and who doesn't judge you (it's amazing how many counsellers would judge me for not controlling my diabetes) is key.
     
  19. anna29

    anna29 Type 2 · Well-Known Member
    Retired Moderator

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    Hi All .

    Reading this thread is interesting given the type of counselling I used and did .

    Counselling isn't a cure or prevention though .
    We were NOT allowed to ever judge always remain neutral and open to help any person regardless .

    Counselling can help re-steer a negative action,thoughts or habit formed behaviour .
    All we do is - give new tools of thought or new operational active tools like new goals
    to make positive changes from the negative.
    Offering inspiration , coax , encourage , prompt , promote forms of communication .
    The person has their own choices with regards to these 'options' ...

    Yep there were times I did WISH that I had a magic wand to change some folk !!!
    This is just me being bluntly honest here .
    As some persons had no wish to change at all in some cases .
    All my hard work and efforts WERE needlessly wasted on them :x

    Anna .
     
  20. Giverny

    Giverny Friend · Admin
    Administrator

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    I think this is the most important thing. If you're seeking counselling, you really need a clear idea of what you want to change.

    You also have to be totally honest with your counsellor, even if it's something you'd be embarrassed to tell someone else - they're there to listen and help without any prejudice so by all means pour your heart out!
     
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