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Cracker Jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Andrew S, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. Andrew S

    Andrew S Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I keep making up terrible jokes, fit only for cheap crackers. How's about:
    Why did the Flamenco dancer have to give up?

    She had repetitive Spain injury.
     
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  2. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    What did the big telephone box say to the little telephone box ?
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    you're too young to be engaged
     
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  3. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    What did the big chimney say to the little chimney >
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    you're to young to smoke :oops:
     
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  4. RoDnEyBoY

    RoDnEyBoY Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    2 Snowmen in a garden, one to the other

    "Can you smell carrots?"


    2 fish on a perch, one to the other

    "can you smell fish?"


    2 monkeys getting in a bath, one starts shouting oh oh ahh ahh ahh ahh AGHHHHHHHH (in a monkey voice getting louder)

    The other " WELL PUT SOME COLD IN THEN!"

    RoDnEyBoY.
     
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  5. semiphonic

    semiphonic Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar, the barman says "what is this, some kind of joke?"
     
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  6. Snowy12

    Snowy12 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Why did the man put Daz on top of his tele?
    Because he ran out of Ariel.
     
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  7. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    Lol :-D
     
  8. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    why did the cow cross the road.
    to get to the udder side
     
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  9. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    Really ? :rolleyes: pull the other one :p
     
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  10. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad away.
     
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  11. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
    Snowballs.
     
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  12. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    What's black and white and noisy ?
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    A zebra playing the piano :D
     
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  13. Snowy12

    Snowy12 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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  14. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
     
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  15. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
     
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  16. izzzi

    izzzi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
     
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  17. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    ROFL :hilarious:
     
  18. Robinredbreast

    Robinredbreast Type 1 · Oracle

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    Doh.........:rolleyes: lol
     
  19. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    LOVE THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  20. eddie1968

    eddie1968 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Man goes to the doctor and says
    "I keep feeling like a couple of whig-whams"
    doctor replies
    "You're two tents"
    lol
     
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