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Diabetes and the impact on relationships

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by kellie lees, Oct 27, 2020.

  1. kellie lees

    kellie lees Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hello,
    I’m really not sure if this is the right place to be but my husband was diagnosed type 1 - three and a half years ago and he’s completely changed as a person. He is very angry all the time and has lots of episodes when he lashes out verbally. He has walked out on his family and said he’s done but walked out at a time when things seemed calmer so he obviously still had personal demons. He’s since suggested counselling for us both and I just worried if there’s any way we could access this through the nhs or with a focus on families dealing with conditions such as diabetes?
     
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  2. Goonergal

    Goonergal Type 2 · Master
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    Sorry to hear you're struggling @kellie lees

    Your GP would be first port of call if you'd like to try and get counselling on the NHS, although from my experience, you might have a bit of a wait.
     
  3. Daibell

    Daibell LADA · Master

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    You could always try your local Mind (mental health charity). I volunteer for my local Mind and know that they do good work with counselling but they do have a waiting list. You can refer via your GP or self-refer directly with the Local Mind Association.
     
  4. Andydragon

    Andydragon Type 2 (in remission!) · Moderator
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    I'm really sorry to hear about the difficulties.

    Are your husband's blood sugars under control?
    Whilst type 2, myself and my father both had significant temper issues when suffering high blood sugars and I believe it isn't unusual for hyperglycaemia for any diabetic type

    As for support from the NHS, maybe, I guess can ask your doctor. But as others have said, the wait will be substantial. Another option might be if you or your husband has access to an employee support scheme. They can sometimes offer support

    All the best!
     
  5. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Expert
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    Hi @kellie lees

    It’s difficult living with a health condition - for everyone involved. Being diagnosed can bring with it many emotions and it’s similar to suffering from a bereavement in terms of stages of grief, look up the seven stages by Kubler-Ross. It can take a while to come to terms with the demands of living with a constant juggling act of trying to keep blood glucose levels in check, so in some respects I can sympathise with your husband and what he’s going through, does he ever talk about it with you and how he feels about it ? As Andydragon has mentioned if he’s not managing his levels then this will also affect his moods, running high leaves me grouchy and tired but keeping glucose revels stable means I can cope better with what life throws at me on top of diabetes.

    Living with type 1 is like mentally dealing with a cup that’s close to spilling over, add all the other pressures of life and it quickly spills over, that’s the easiest way I can describe it, it’s vital he talks though as some men are good at bottling up emotions and then spilling out with anger but talking helps temper emotions whether that’s with a councillor a wife or a good friend, having the ability to talk without feeling judged is vital.
     
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  6. hyponilla

    hyponilla Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Kellie,

    When I first got diabetes a couple of years ago my blood sugars used to swing a lot and it would make me furious. My boyfriend referred to me as the hypoglycemic rage monster. It was especially bad when I hit a low, overtreated, went high, and then back down again. I've never been an angry person so it was a strange experience. It stopped when I got control of my blood sugar. So maybe it's diabetes and not your husband talking.
     
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  7. Fairygodmother

    Fairygodmother Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Maybe if your husband were to join this forum it’d help him come to terms with T1?
    It’s so hard to say what the root of his changed behaviour is when none of us know him, or the whole situation, but I can say from my own experience that blood sugars that are too high or too low will affect my mood and behaviour. I’ve often felt awed and appalled by the effect a very small amount of a hormone like insulin can have on me.
    There are bits of tech that I’ve been delighted with: they really help me to keep blood sugars more stable. One is the freestyle Libre sensor, and I’ve invested in a miaomiao to send messages to my watch, or phone, and enable me to get alerts when my blood sugars fall too low or rise too high. Has your husband discovered these possibilities?
     
  8. Andydragon

    Andydragon Type 2 (in remission!) · Moderator
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    I didn’t realise at the time how the hyperglycaemia was impacting my mood. In hindsight it was like I was permanently wound up too tight. I know type 2 is different but the high bloods certainly can affect. I only knew how bad it’d got when I was told that my mood was a factor in the redundancy at the time. But weirdly at the time I didn’t feel any different. Which is hard to explain

    @kellie lees we don’t know your husband, but its hard for him and everyone around so I really hope that it improves!
     
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  9. Sadaf.s

    Sadaf.s · Newbie

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    Dear @ kellie lees,
    I was diagnosed at 25 and now im 29 and have had a baby too. Pregnancy was a wake up call. I can relate to your husband. I have my worst moments when i wake up because of pain and discomfort from my lower back to the tip of my toes. Complaining about pain dosent help neither does paracetamol. Just trying to get on with daily tasks has become challenging not who i was.

    Bg levels affect moods drastically. X
     
  10. Fairygodmother

    Fairygodmother Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi @kellie lees, I think Relate have increased their counselling services. I just had a look at their site and it suggests that they have.
     
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